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posted Tuesday, January 8, 2013 at 10:57am
My boyfriend and I are not having sex with each other until we get married. At first I thought this was a really stupid idea because I always have sex with my boyfriends and I love sex. I almost dumped him for the suggestion. I also felt really weird and abnormal because everyone ALWAYS has sex before they get married, so I felt like some sort of freak (I still haven't told any friends) But as time went on, I actually respect him and us more. My love has grown for him considerably by holding out. An added bonus is I don't have to worry about getting pregnant and all of the responsibilities that go along with it. People don't really think about the consequences of sex anymore, but you should. It has been two years of holding out and I can honestly say that it is not a big deal to NOT have sex. People can get creative with their sexuality and still be satisfied, and still hold out. We are getting married in a few months and -oh my god- we are going to have the best time of our lives in bed because we waited!!!!
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Jan 8, 2013 at 1:45 pm
... What if he isn't good in bed? It's not like you're a virgin.... You don't want to marry him then find out he is absolutely awful at sex. Take a test ride before you buy the car!
Jan 8, 2013 at 3:46 pm
Yep. I held off to make it special etc for all the same good, sound concepts you mention. Turns out our sexual compatibility was marginal at best and now 10 years into a marriage its a disaster. Next time - I'll try before I buy and that's my advice to my kids too.
Jan 8, 2013 at 5:48 pm
I don't understand this thing about people being lousy at sex. Can't they get better?
Jan 8, 2013 at 8:21 pm
I do hope he's not gay, or...that he's not a guy with a low sex drive. (Although if you can live without the sex, then that may not be an issue for you.) Not trying to come across as negative so please don't take it that way - I just really hope that it's not either of these issues at play.
Jan 8, 2013 at 8:48 pm
does this mean that you, your dog and a big jar of peanut butter are very good friends? :)
Jan 9, 2013 at 2:12 am
Sexual compatibility is an important part of any relationship. To me, that's the same as not discussing religious views or whether you want to have children. Or hell, even what you enjoy doing in your free time. What if you said, "hey, let's not share our hobbies until we're married. It will be so much more special to share them afterwards" Well, what if you then found you didn't enjoy the same things or have anything in common...
Just doesn't make sense to me but to each their own I suppose. Seems a bit childish and risky to me though.
Just doesn't make sense to me but to each their own I suppose. Seems a bit childish and risky to me though.
Jan 9, 2013 at 4:20 am
Your man isn't having sex with you for a specific reason. Unfortunately, he doesn't feel comfortable sharing it with you. You're going to be in for a big surprise down the road, so I would investigate further before you jump into marriage. If you both aren't virgins and he suggested to wait, he might even be getting it somewhere else. If he's physically attracted to you, it is VERY rare, I repeat, VERY rare for a man not to want to engage in sex, even for religious reasons. I hope this works out for the best for you both. Good luck.
Jan 9, 2013 at 7:42 pm
Case o' beer says he comes out after you bear his children. Don't say you weren't warned.
Jan 11, 2013 at 10:52 pm
Congrats! You've hooked up with a gay dude who wants kids. Have fun when they're in school and he can feel less guilty coming out and leaving you. He'll leave when they're in school because in his mind, "She doesn't have to look after them all the time".
P.S. He's banging someone right now. Most likely a dude. Sorry, this isn't the 50's or some chick flick. Guys do not think the way women do - unless they're gay.
P.P.S. He's gay.
P.P.P.S. Don't tell your friends. They may say it's cool, but the girls will tell their boyfriends/husbands/whatevers and those people will think he's gay - or that he has something horribly wrong with him.
P.S. He's banging someone right now. Most likely a dude. Sorry, this isn't the 50's or some chick flick. Guys do not think the way women do - unless they're gay.
P.P.S. He's gay.
P.P.P.S. Don't tell your friends. They may say it's cool, but the girls will tell their boyfriends/husbands/whatevers and those people will think he's gay - or that he has something horribly wrong with him.
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