posted Wednesday, April 23, 2014 at 12:10pm
What a life changing year it’s been. Started 2013 by helping my friend, and her family, emotionally cope with the illness, and death, of her mother from’cancer. Then, I was completely blindsided by losing my 7 year job; due to to racist cyber-criminals, and some "hacking” stuff that’s in the news now. Plus facing the very real prospect of losing my apartment, and adjusting to being back in school - at UBC. Yet, I confess that instead of making my walls thicker and higher, I’m choosing to take them down and make myself a better man by taking them down to be more vulnerable. It’s been a simple revelation to know that forgiving people for slights, insults and grievances has made me kinder, gentler and more patient. I recently forgave an old business acquaintance for owing me money, and my friend was shocked at how easy it seemed. The couple of thousand dollars is a lot to me, but I gained more by just letting it go. Another was a female friend, who I would previously have banished, but now we are better friends than ever. I even skipped the part where she felt she had to say sorry. Seems silly now, to have even been having a feud, instead of just enjoying each other’s company. Some people may mistake the kindness for weakness, and I still have boundaries, but even those have become more elastic as the year has developed. One year later, after coming so very close to suicide, I’m helping my old boss, who had to let me go, deal with his dad’s cancer. I just started a new job, (part time) I’ve finished my school courses, and am now in awesome shape, thanks to being able to maintain some sanity at the gym. I still have a long way to go before I can completely exhale, and this month my heart was broken by an emphatic email, but unless somebody purposely or physically harms me; the plan for 2014, and beyond, is continued grace, no grudges and no hate.