posted Monday, July 28, 2014 at 9:43pm
I'm in debt. I keep making choices that lead me down paths that aren't fulfilling. I try to get ahead but I feel like it's just one step forward, two steps back. I feel lonely at times but I'm not ready for a relationship at all. I am a broken person inside, I know this. I work at a job that's not challenging but I can't leave because I know I don't have the skills that could make me a better wage so I'm stuck. Payday to payday is no way to live. Two jobs is no way to live. I'm tired all the time and don't eat properly. I want to lose weight, get fit and healthy but my mind isn't healthy enough and there's not enough time in a day, I feel like. If I take the little amount of spare time I do have to use it for exercise then I won't be able to see my friends or family as much, which will probably just remind me how even more alone I am, when really what I think I need is someone who just loves me for me. Someone who is okay with the fact that I don't have a career, am a little on the curvy side and so can still love me. Maybe then I'll feel like everything I'm doing is okay, but right now I honestly feel like no one could love this mess. Totally lost.