posted Friday, April 18, 2014 at 8:26am
Relationships are imperfect and we all mess up at some point or another. It is important to know when things can be patched up and when we should let go. Sometimes, I think it wouldn't be too hard to just forgive and go back but every time, I give up as I see no signs that things would change. Instead of showing warmth, humility or desire to amend, he appears cold, entitled and righteous in his mind. He is angry and hurt that I don't give in immediately, not thinking one second of what he could do to make me want to stay. He wants love, commitment and exclusivity, all the things he took and still takes for granted. Has it not occurred to you that you haven't done anything to deserve those things, quite the contrary?
It is really too bad as this is someone that I like very much as a person but who has proved to be a bad partner with poor relationship skills. He is extremely immature, insensitive and self-absorbed. If he cares about me, he does a terrible job at showing it. Ignoring my pleading and begging, he left me alone for Christmas and Valentine's day, and I later found out he was cheating on me (and probably the reason why he was distancing himself). Despite all these things, he sometimes manages to convince me that he is not at fault. He seems to be completely unconscious of the seriousness of his actions and the damage he has done to me. He is so irresponsible that I always have to worry that he would misbehave because he is incapable of taking care of himself. He even finds a way of putting some of the blame on me. Unbelievable! I understand the "forgive yourself so you can move on with your life" part but putting blame on the other person so you don't have to take responsibility? This is one of the rare relationships in which I can positively say that I have nothing to blame myself for. All I ever did was to cater to his insatiable needs. He seems to enjoy making me jealous and wait around for him, and shows no concern for my feelings. He makes me feel cold, unattractive, and kills my desire for fun or intimacy.
He clearly has led a good life with a privileged upbringing, and has had everything given to him with a silver spoon. All his life has been about having fun and not taking anything seriously. He didn't have to go through deprivation, repression or darkness of any kind. He never took the time to really get to know me, and I'm pretty sure that I have far too many issues for him to deal with. I feel like I can be a better person without him. I'm letting him go to find the pretty, fun and easy girls who are more his type anyway. It's too bad: I know we both wanted it to work, and I really thought we could be great together despite the differences. Unfortunately, you show no compassion, understanding or willingness to compromise to make me believe in it or want to put my energy into it again. If I'm wrong, it is up to you to show me otherwise. If you're ready to let go too, I wish you all the best. Perhaps, we will each find happiness with other people.