posted Friday, September 19, 2014 at 10:02pm
I don't even know where to begin. I'm living paycheque to pay heck. I don't go out... Can't go out, I don't have the money to do so. I tried to get another job but after the interview, two week later they hired someone else. Then I submitted an estimate for work but never heard back from the client. I'm making efforts to change my life and finances yet nothing leads to success or fruition. The days are getting darker earlier and I hate to stay home. I'm just so disconnected. I don't feel like I have anything to look forward to. I feel like some friends, not all, just want to talk about themselves and only wait for me to finish talking so that they can return to talking about themselves. I just want to leave town to clear my head and come back to better finances. The hours I spend updating my portfolio, custom writing cover letters and resumes, don't lead to any concrete change on my life. I need some uplifting experiences where I don't think about money. It's been a fucking hard year... And I dread the upcoming winter. They say to stay positive when looking for work, but I'm so dead inside from the disappointment that I'm just acting at this point. Thank god I am afraid of drugs otherwise I'd probably blot myself out for the temporary numbness.