osaka
Hey- osaka sushi near King Ed and Oak. lunch time Friday, both eating alone. I saw you :) no clue what percentage of vancouverites even know about this thread on Straight...
FOLLOW THIS
You have an excuse for everything. Maybe I'll just have to live with that part of you. But it's fucking sneaky and annoying. I take things personally because you can't articulate what you're thinking or feeling then when I TELL you that my feelings are hurt you have a quick comeback, you make it MY fault, or you have a stupid joke to let yourself off the hook and you won't fucking say your sorry for the fucking life of you. Goddamn boy friend. And PS: we need to fuck more. the box of condoms we bought in NOVEMBER is not even half empty. Yes, I am counting, when I am the one who initiate sex 85% of the time. PPS: for the haters, yes I have told him this, and no I don't know why I still put up with it.
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Comments (17) Add New Comment
Don't put up with it
He sounds like a sociopathic narcissist. I've been in your shoes before; it's so exhausting to deal with that type of personality & honestly, why should you? A relationship is give & take, but it sounds like he is taking more & more of you 'mentally'. You're better than that & deserve more.
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Drew
Dump the motherfucker already
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What is your confession?
Rant on.
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love or lust
sounds like my ex... run for the hills. no lie.... I thought he would grow up.. fast forward 2+ years later... full of bull. now I'm with a new guy who treats me like the world.
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OMFG
I dont normally write things here - I just lurk but when I read your post my reaction was: OMFG - I know that situation exactly, except its not by boyfriend I'd describe that way....its my wife. My advice stop putting up with it and don't end up in a marriage with the boyfriend concerned. Much harder to get out of that... I also agree with @Dont put- its is exhausting. I used to deal well with it and then spent the last year coping with my own ill health and guess what? I don't have the reserves to deal with her shit anymore! I'm getting better but the damage to the relationship has been done
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mcspeel
sociopathic narcissist. ugh their argument styles are so annoying and misguided. and too belligerent to give you the moment to bear ur own thoughts
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Problem Child...
Well go ahead and stay with him but don't get angry for the way he is. You're the one making the choice to stay. Don't think he will just wake up one morning and suddenly change because he won't... this is who he is as a person. He will never love you enough to magically change his ways for you. You're holding onto a lost cause if you think he'll ever give up who he is as a person. But like I said, don't get mad at him for it... you're the one making the decision to stay and therefore choosing to allow him to treat you like this.
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Starr
Sociopathic narcissist is right. He's likely ehtrenhced in self-loathing and thus believes he is not worthy of a loving relationship, or to be loved at all. Highly manipulative, it's all about possession and control. He's attempting to drag you down to his level by degrading your self worth. This is why you're always wrong and he is never at fault. You're always to blame and he's "perfect." You find yourself apologizing for things daily while he is never at fault, and has a convenient excuse for everything. Everything's a joke and you're too sensitive.
He can't see or accept there's an issue, therfore it will only get worse for you. They happily withhold sex and any form of intimacy too, by the way.

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kinda similar
I had a friend like this from childhood, and had to rid myself of him. Damn shame, but it had to be done. On the positive side, you'll appreciate a kind man that much more in future.
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OP:
Im the original poster.

My confession is actually a complaint, sorry, wrong forum I suppose.

You all have left me good replies, thank you for that. I have a lot to think about.
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are you with my ex husband?!
He was a good person, generally. But he treated me poorly compared to how he'd treat others. When he left me, it was a blessing in disguise. I am no longer shamed into believing I am horrible, gaining weight all the time, lazy etc. My body dismorphia is better, my sex life is better and I am with someone who accepts me as I am and seems to like it.

You should seriously take charge of your own happiness. I wish I had sooner.
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The ex
There's only two things it can be. Is it recent cause if it is he has someone elese on the side. If its nit then it your own fault. Mabey he has reconnected with his ex!
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sorry seems to be the hardest word
Most of all, that guy seems to be very lazy...he doesn't take any initiative and leaves you facing all alone. Actually, it doesn't sound as a reltionship...it seems that you're already all by yourself. So, leave him and set yourself free!
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Jaguar
Re: the psychiatric dx, here is something to remember, OP. An ethical practitioner won't diagnose a patient without interviewing the patient, and an ethical practitioner will not interview a patient without informed consent. So, these dx are from either unethical practitioners or "armchair shitheads" who like to excuse their lack of ability to love everyone unconditionally as a product of mental disorder in those whom they cannot love.

As to your actual stated concrete problem (hurt feelings = manipulative bullshit. Prove you have feelings as opposed to desires which cause you to act out little stories to get your way. But saying "I want X, therefore give me X" is a whole lot more difficult than saying "my feelings are hurt if you don't give me X.") it could simply be that you have a higher sex drive. So decide whether or not that is a "deal breaker" for you or not. If it is, move on. If it is not, well, learn to deal with the situation, perhaps by recognizing that you have an addiction to sex. What unmet need in your life is it that you are filling with sex?
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sallakjsdf
DTMFA! DTMFA!
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Catskin bag
Protest too much? I've got a suspicion that Jaguar is a closet narcissistic sociopath, trying to cover for himself and his N.S. buddies.
Nice try, "Jaguar", if that's really your name.
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OP
Jaguar, I find your reply hard to understand, since tone of voice is not obvious to me, but you do bring up a good point.

Am I addicted to sex? No.
Do I have a higher sex drive than he? Yep!

I've asked for what I want and I'm answered by a guy who, makes a joke, excuse, exaggerated emotion to manipulate and make me the aggressor. It's my fault that he can't say no to me, and it's my fault that I'm making HIM feel bad.

My post was a complaining outloud moment of contemplation, I'm wondering why I put up with it, still. Do I love him, yep, sure do. I just don't know how to get through to him and make him a partner in this relationship. I feel like I'm doing all the work to keep it together.
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