#3 Downtown, Vancouver.
To bus driver who helped me find the right stop to get off at... Thanks! It's was a short bus ride and when I got off and waved back to thank you. I felt a connection and...
FOLLOW THIS
So over the course of the last 11 months I have witnessed strange behaviour from my GF. She received a slew of text messages while sitting on the couch. She looked at all of them except from some guy. I kinda wondered about this but said nothing. She then left to bring the garbage out with her phone and when she got back and put the phone down I noticed that the text had been deleted. Couple months later we are at a party and its like 3 in the morning and keeps getting a bunch of text messages. She leaves the room and I grab the phone and she gets a message from some guy asking if I am around? I notice that all messages prior to this are deleted. I say nothing but feel like that is so strange and makes me feel like thats such a strange thing to ask her. Then a little while later in the month she gets more messages from someone who she claims is just a friend. She wont let me look at them when I am around. I ask her to see the message and she refuses saying I dont trust her and gets super angry and defensive. I said if she had nothing to hide why wont she let me see. I have never minded my girl from having guy friends and shes hot so its expected that she will get hit on.
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Comments (15) Add New Comment
DTMFA
Lying, cheating. Make it quick and move on
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Been there!
Do yourself a favor and get rid of this girl. Two things can be happening, either shes having an emotional flirt with some guys because she wants to string them along to get certain things ie money, drinks, club nights with no cover something like that, or because shes wants to keep them on the back burner in case it doesnt work out. Or shes cheating on you maybe not physically but emotionally. She deletes them because she knows what was said would look and make you feel aweful. If you care about someone you want to ease their mind. It doesnt create trust thats for sure. Good Luck.
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SJ
I understand your suspicions, it is unusual behaviour. My point of view, if you are feeling a bit insecure about this and think something may be up, talk to your girlfriend. Say what you've noticed. If she loves you, she will want to squash your insecurities asap, right? From experience, getting angry and defensive only means she could be hiding something. If she's being honest and has nothing to hide, she will show you. And if otherwise, she probably has something to hide.
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Oh yeah . . .
regarding DTMFA. I suggest breaking up with her over texting as it is obvious she likes this form of communication. Do it today. Do it now.
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RUK
Gee what great suggestions.

How about you make sure your next girlfriend is a Real Doll. They don't create any complications.
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WOW
Chances are she's doing something questionable for sure. Truthfully if some guy messages me at 3 in the morning its for one thing and one thing only. If I am in a relationship with someone I care about I would not delete or hide anything. Its always better to be honest and let the other person decide how to deal with the issue then to hide things and be dishonest and a liar. That does not build trust, and we all have our insecurities. I would talk with her about these feelings and just confront her. Hope that helps!
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PF
Dude, it's my fault. I'm sending the messages and I asked her to delete hem right away, and to keep everything secret. You're not supposed to know. Sorry.
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Communication is key.

I don't know why she's being secretive about text messages. What does she say when you talk about it? It's not a surprise party for you--is it?

It sounds as though basic values of open communication, truth, honesty and trust have gone out the window with new technology with some people.

You have no control or power over another person. They are going to do what they're going to do. If your gf doesn't want to show you her communications there's nothing you can do but be aware of what that means to you. If it's deal breaker DTMFA.

If you're not sure ask yourself: Do you know what qualities you value most or least in relationship with your Gf? Do you have open, honest communication and trust?

For me, I need open, honest communication and trust in relationship. I like to feel close and be close. Sharing things like texts is very intimate and close. Often those closest to us get to see things about us that we don't share with everyone else. It means more to me when someone is voluntarily open and honest. I have more trust in them and we're free to focus on other things that make us stronger because of it. I hope you find out what you want to do about this. You can't demand someone to share intimacy with you. If they're not willing, why are they with you? Best of Luck.


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nut gobbler
she is out in secret getting balls across her chin every night she can . Congrats on finding yourself a hot skank.
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naked truth
Ok, she's unfaithful to you.
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B-Been there before
Dude I'm sorry to hear about this. Reminds me of one of my ex's. She is without a doubt up to no good. She can pull that "you don't trust me card" but seriously it's like "ya bitch I don't trust you and with probable cause". If she has to hide something, other than a surprise party, from the man she loves... Then she shouldn't be doing it. Lose her, she is already comfortable doing it to you and she will never change. Let her date that other dude then cheat on him. I've had 3 girls hide a text from me and all 3 times it was a guy she was hiding. Good luck to you!
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go with your gut
I checked my boyfriends phone because I felt like things weren't right. I had this undeniable feeling that he was up to no good behind my back and what I seen had shocked me without any question. It was blatantly obvious that he would cheat when given the opportunity and when I questioned him, his reaction to it all was worse than the text itself. He was ANGRY with me for invading his privacy and defended himself with the obvious excuse "I was joking". He didn't once try to assure me or prove to me that he would never do that... I just got a slap on the hand and was told to never do that again! The tiny amount of trust he had for me went out the window and days later kicked me out of our apartment. Is it my fault he couldn't trust me, or his own? I'll never know the answer but I regret ever letting him make me feel like I was the one who was wrong. Sounds extremely childish and it is but that's life. Just go with your gut and don't be afraid that you'll end up alone without her. Around the corner someone better is right there waiting.
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This make me sad
I asked my other man to not text me during certain hours and he respects that.
If he did I would delete the text immediately and probably never see him again and certianly not have texts lying around.
It almost seems like she wants to be caught.
She may be doing the grass may be greener thing at the moment but to make you suspicious and almost rub it in your face is horrible!
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Much grace.
If she were honest with you, she wouldn't get mad and defensive. And she would let you see the texts just to prove to you that you're wrong.
I hope for the best for you and her as well.
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Wang
Dump the bitch. She is cheating on you.
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