I miss her

I lost my mother last year to cancer. Every night when I walk home from wherever I've been... I always look up at the stars and talk to her out loud on my walk. And every time I do it, I always cry. People must think I'm schizophrenic or just not all there, but they've no idea that my best friend is gone. I'm not afraid of death, it happens to everyone, it's just a fact of life. But when you're standing on this planet for however long the universe grants you, those close to you who've you lost to death sure feel as though they are galaxies away that you'll never reach to say that final goodbye or that familiar hello. I don't know what I'm confessing really, but all I ask of people is not to judge, or assume, or just glare stupidly or coldly at others who caught in their own bubbles. We are not freaks of nature, we each have our own story. In my case, the only way I feel that can communicate with my ghost is my chatting to planets and constellations above.

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CP

Nov 28, 2013 at 12:55pm

Grief is a journey, and is different for each person. Those who don't understand it are people who haven't been through it themselves. Be good to yourself - it takes time to heal, and I'm sure that a part of you will always, always remember and miss your mom; it's all part of loving and having been loved. Hugs.

19 6Rating: +13

time

Nov 28, 2013 at 1:59pm

they say time heals all wounds but not really true. you will never get over it (not meant to depress you further with that). all you end up doing is learning to cope with it and keep on living the life you are meant to live. those that are close to us don't really leave, their spirits remain near. been through it myself more than once. give yourself time, at least two years to seriously grieve, this is part of the process. you are not alone with your heartbreak and the intensity of your sorrow is palpable. peace to you and to us all.

20 8Rating: +12

DShK

Nov 28, 2013 at 2:21pm

You are taking it the right way, that's for sure. The ones who try to keep it down and hide it are the ones I worry about.
I don't have a method or anything, but I truly feel that the ones I've lost are always alive inside my heart, and the memories of them now bring me a few happy tears and warmth within. Once the pain subsides you can't help but look back in appreciation and thankfulness for having them for the time you did. Gone but never forgotten...in fact, gone but forever loved and admired. I never got to say goodbye but nowadays I often say thanks and it feels good to remember.
I wish you well OP

14 7Rating: +7

Lance

Nov 28, 2013 at 3:54pm

There is beauty and wonder in the Universe...the energy and life your Mom possessed is still out there.

16 8Rating: +8

I know

Nov 28, 2013 at 4:55pm

honey; it really hurts; I lost my Dad at 22 and my brother at 30...cry as much as you need to....just try to stay in touch with your friends and family.

11 8Rating: +3

I know (2)

Nov 28, 2013 at 4:56pm

I still cry; I miss them very much.

13 7Rating: +6

Slim Jim

Nov 28, 2013 at 6:12pm

Anyone who judges, assumes or glares stupidly at you for your confession is guilty of having no soul. May peace be with you and if having a chat to the heavens makes you feel closer to your dearly departed Mum then don't give two figs what other people may think.

12 6Rating: +6

Lovely L.

Nov 28, 2013 at 7:16pm

Your mother will always be with you just not in the same way. Keep walking and talking to her under the stars .If you sense that she is near you know that she is.
Xo

16 6Rating: +10

I love your post ...

Nov 28, 2013 at 8:52pm

For some reason when I'm outside in the darkness and quiet of night and I stand and look way up at the stars I feel some kinds of comfort too. I don't know exactly why. Maybe it's because our life is connected. The stars and the sky feels eternal, vast and infinite. Somehow that conforts me to look up and know we're still connected even though I can't explain it. Thanks for your post. Do whatever soothes your spirit and comforts your soul. Deepest condolences on your loss.

15 8Rating: +7

Jade1111

Nov 30, 2013 at 3:27am

I can relate to this very much.
I lost my mother to breast cancer on July 30th. I cry everyday. and talk to her every night.
Sending you warm hugs
Xo
E

9 7Rating: +2

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