Of use or used?

The only problem with making yourself of use is that far too often you end up getting used. I am not talking of myself when I say this. I have a friend and I could just scream at her sometimes to be careful in what she gives of herself. She never expects anything in return and for all intents and purposes never seems to let it phase her when her favours go unreturned time and time again. I hope that somehow some way her usefulness gets returned to her in spades because it couldn't happen to a nicer person.

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DShK

Nov 28, 2013 at 12:48am

Nice of you to write this up in appreciation of your friend. She sounds like a wonderful woman.

Angie

Nov 28, 2013 at 10:55am

You don't go into much detail so I'm not sure whether your friend complains about not getting any favours in return, but have you considered that maybe she makes herself useful because she wants to be useful? Some people need to be needed but moreover, some people help people because they want to help them, not because they expect their favour to be returned someday.

I'll be corrected if I'm wrong, but I think many religions teach that if a person has capacity to give, they should give without any expectation of returns. It's karma - what you put out into the world, you will eventually get back. Maybe not right away, and maybe not when you need your sofabed moved, but someday and in the right way.

10 7Rating: +3

@ Angie

Nov 28, 2013 at 11:33am

OP here. It's like you know her. I will say that you are mostly right about her but in some instances I know she is being used. She is a very giving person and it's those instances in particular that I wish she would be a little less giving. I too believe in the karma of which you speak and in her case I sincerely hope that what she puts out into the world comes back to her.

17 9Rating: +8

use?

Nov 29, 2013 at 10:15am

perhaps "of use" does not necessarily mean "abuse." It's possible your friend gets something out of being of use that you don't quite understand (yet?) or that just isn't part of your story.

7 8Rating: -1

cuz

Nov 30, 2013 at 2:46pm

I used to be used all the time. I would give and give and always wonder why I got nothing in return. Then a tragedy befell a member of my family and I realized what was truly important in life. What I really learned was that it felt great to just give whatever I could and expect NOTHING in return. Giving feels so much better than receiving.

8 8Rating: 0

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