4 Texts, 2 Emails And A Funeral

What a life changing year it’s been. Started 2013 by helping my friend, and her family, emotionally cope with the illness, and death, of her mother from’cancer. Then, I was completely blindsided by losing my 7 year job; due to to racist cyber-criminals, and some "hacking” stuff that’s in the news now. Plus facing the very real prospect of losing my apartment, and adjusting to being back in school - at UBC. Yet, I confess that instead of making my walls thicker and higher, I’m choosing to take them down and make myself a better man by taking them down to be more vulnerable. It’s been a simple revelation to know that forgiving people for slights, insults and grievances has made me kinder, gentler and more patient. I recently forgave an old business acquaintance for owing me money, and my friend was shocked at how easy it seemed. The couple of thousand dollars is a lot to me, but I gained more by just letting it go. Another was a female friend, who I would previously have banished, but now we are better friends than ever. I even skipped the part where she felt she had to say sorry. Seems silly now, to have even been having a feud, instead of just enjoying each other’s company. Some people may mistake the kindness for weakness, and I still have boundaries, but even those have become more elastic as the year has developed. One year later, after coming so very close to suicide, I’m helping my old boss, who had to let me go, deal with his dad’s cancer. I just started a new job, (part time) I’ve finished my school courses, and am now in awesome shape, thanks to being able to maintain some sanity at the gym. I still have a long way to go before I can completely exhale, and this month my heart was broken by an emphatic email, but unless somebody purposely or physically harms me; the plan for 2014, and beyond, is continued grace, no grudges and no hate.

8 Comments

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Michele Baillie

Apr 23, 2014 at 4:36pm

It's heartening that you haven't allowed yourself to be subsumed by what has been done to you.

I suppose it's all about where you want to set your personal boundaries for being treated poorly. Congratulations on picking up the pieces.

You're more forgiving than I am- I would have jettisoned most of those people from my life and started over. I just don't believe in staying around dishonest, deceitful people; what for? So they can do it again when it is convenient? Not my cup of tea.

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@Michele

Apr 23, 2014 at 5:11pm

Sometimes people are not being deceitful or dishonest. Circumstances,
misunderstandings and (mis) communication can often lead to breakdowns in
friendship and life. It can often take a long time for all the facts to come to
light.

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I love you

Apr 23, 2014 at 5:43pm

I love you.

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Dug

Apr 23, 2014 at 6:28pm

Sometimes you have to forgive and forget. Good for you.

9 2Rating: +7

another idea

Apr 24, 2014 at 6:24am

Sounds like you are on a good path to good things in life. Bravo!

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wow.

Apr 25, 2014 at 4:45pm

You sound like an amazing person.

There should be more people in the world like you.

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Michele Baillie

Apr 26, 2014 at 7:25am

Someone is lucky; they are loved

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Tree

May 3, 2014 at 3:30pm

Wow, you sound like an AWESOME person. Good for you. I'm a terrible grudge holder, but trying to improve in that department. Keep going. You are definitely on the right track. Cheers bud.

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