You can definitely overcome this. The first, and often the most difficult step, is admitting and accepting that you have a problem with alcohol. Not to say that the rest of the journey is easy by any means. But you can't fix a problem if you don't think you have one.

As you know, addictions are powerful and take on a life of their own. I strongly suggest considering seeking the help of a counselor, or even a more intensive treatment program. Support groups/AA help some but do not suit everyone, and may also not be enough of an intervention for the point it sounds like you may be at. I've had a different addiction for more than half of my life, and making the decision to seek help a few years ago was the best decision I've ever made. Why? Because it gave me my life back. It was a painful and slow process at times, but my life is no longer dictated by the demons in my head that used to call the shots. Instead, my life is full of things that I enjoy, a handful of solid people that I love, and healed relationships that were dragged through the dirt of my addiction. I made the decision to switch careers and go back to school, and ultimately, to not be afraid of myself anymore.

I don't know you but I'm excited for the journey that I hope lays ahead for you. May it be one that sheds much pain and brings lightness into your daily experiences. To recover is to learn to love yourself, and to love yourself is to make decisions that enrich your life. Give yourself the gift of recovery and take the plunge. I promise you won't regret it.

YOU WILL OVERCOME THIS.

open your self up to people like the writer above, love yourself and forgive yourself you can do this. it sounds trite but one day at a time. find peace.

love you. You will need that love from every corner of the universe. You can do this. Look into how Willie Nelson stopped-and how his life got even better. Sending you strength. It is a crushing disorder and you have my compassion 110%.

good luck. my is a recovered alcoholic, he almost took his own life when my mom left him. he managed to overcome his problem and he hasn't drank since. my step dad is in the same boat, except he hasn't been able to admin his own drinking problem. drinking definitely has the power to break apart families. i really hope and wish the best for you. know that people are out there who are willing to help.

...and I really understand, actually. I am caught in the cycle of drinking / waking up feeling like shit / drinking to alleviate that feeling / drinking yet again. I have spent endless years battling this cycle. Alcohol, for those of us who cannot control our intake, is a goddamn sonofoabitch and I have no explanation for why some of us suffer from an obsession with it. Just know you are not alone, okay? Just know that. Just know that this substance is controlling more of us than we understand. Getting on top of it, however...ouch. I am scared because I cannot see a way of doing so. Just know that you are not alone.