My mom is dying

posted April 22nd, 2014 at 9:18 PM

My mom got a stage IV cancer diagnosis last summer. It was a total shock as her annual check up came back clean just a few months prior, and she has always taken good care of herself. She has since gone through several types of treatment to which she responded well. However, in the past month, her cancer has progressed with a vengeance. We find out what her options are in a couple days, but we realize that there is only so much chemo her body can take. She's been starting to talk more about her death, and I understand that it is the realistic thing to do at this point. We haven't given up hope but we all feel like her passing is near. She's only 60, and while I realize that many people aren't as lucky to have their parents for this long (or at all), I'm overwhelmed with grief and disappointment. I've had some major setbacks in my own life and am very sad that she most likely won't get to see me reach the important milestones. I'm grateful that we have the opportunity to prepare and cherish the moments that we have left together. But I'm also devastated and heartbroken...

13 Comments

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Apr 22, 2014 at 11:26pm

Incredibly sorry you're both going through this. I can't imagine what you are going through. I hope your mother gets better, I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

Blessings.

I...

Apr 22, 2014 at 11:35pm

...feel your pain. Know this though. Your Mum may not be around to see you reach those milestones (although let's hope she is) but she knows that you are going to reach them because of the love and support she gave you. I wish you peace and comfort in this difficult time.

sorry

Apr 22, 2014 at 11:41pm

So sorry to hear about your situation. I didn't know whether thumb up this post or thumb it down because either way seems insensitive. I hope you and your mom find peace with this and hope that all that happens is as pain free as possible for you and your mom. Best wishes.

With You

Apr 23, 2014 at 12:15am

I've stood in your shoes. My mother passed when she was 57. Do whatever it takes to be by her side until the end.

hugs

Apr 23, 2014 at 12:47am

*hugs*

RCA

Apr 23, 2014 at 3:31am

My friend's mum died of cancer a year and a month ago today. She was 63. There are no words that will heal your heart as you experience this. I can only echo what others have already posted. Please cherish every moment you have while she is still here.

RUK

Apr 23, 2014 at 10:06am

OP: brutal situation. I lost my sister in law to cancer three years and two days ago so I have some idea of what's to come and the rollercoaster of good days and bad days as the condition gets more final.

I guess I'd advise you to stay positive (remissions can happen at any time and there's no use suffering too much in advance).

Most of all, enjoy your time with your mom. I'm sure she's appreciated spending time as a family. There are many acts of love and this is one of them.

TBONED999

Apr 23, 2014 at 11:31am

As others have written.... spend as much time with her as you can.I lost my father 4 years ago and the best thing I ever did was make sure I visited him every week.

Michele Baillie

Apr 23, 2014 at 4:42pm

I lost my Dad when he was 49 and my brother at 32 to cancer; it's hard I know. (tears) I'm sorry.

OP

Apr 23, 2014 at 10:15pm

Though all of you speak from a distance, I feel your warmth and I am ever so grateful. Thanks for reaching out. We got her some cannibis oil products today and she was able to eat a decent meal and feel some relief from her discomfort. Tomorrow we talk about her options. One day at a time...