"He's basically living like a bachelor without any of the responsibilities that I have."

LOL.

engineer vs. housewife. ya, I wonder who has more responsibility!

you get to have friends, so do your children. you get to watch them grow & be a daily part of their lives. this all happens because of him making that money over there, he gets to live a transient "life" with a big paycheck.he probably misses you & the kids every second of every day, the only thing that makes it worth it is you guys. many people are in the middle of this.count your blessings, the ones that found 1/3 the pay jobs here are facing the cost of living in vancouver..... think about taking the kids to (live/rent for a month or couple weeks) someplace in calgary couplke times a year? keep the house in vancouver & go closer to him, everyone wins. make it work for both(all) of you.

Mine few pennies of thought: your husband is entitled to be involved in decision making for the kids future. It sounds like he is not willing to continue as is- so teh move will have to happen. The only question is: moving to oilfields or Burnaby. I am assuming you work (because otherwise why do you need a nanny?). On 2 salaries you should be able to live in Vancouver. I am not sure he is living as a bachelor (since he still has to send money to you/ consider the kids). Finally- you do not have to figure this out... any figuring has to be done between you AND your husband. F**king marriage 101.

Your husband is NOT living a bachelor life. It's a complete dump in Fort Mac. Trust me. I lived AND worked there. Tough it out for a while. It will be worth it.

oh, definitely in this case move forward.

Sick and tired of hearing women complain about amazing men and how hard they work yet women just need to live here for the lifestyle.

Leaving town asap. Bc women are unique and that is an overstatement.

It's hard for you doing the 'single mom' thing, which is why you see him as a bachelor with no responsibilities.

And clearly he misses you and the kids, or he wouldn't have asked you to make the move.

Sounds like you need to be together, whether it's here, or there. I do think it's lovely that you're willing to move out to the 'burbs to make it happen and have him close. Hope you guys can work it out together. It's pretty clear that the money isn't worth it for both of you.

For what it's worth, in my view, while money can buy you stuff, it can't buy happiness. If you love your husband (sounds like you do) and want your kids to be happy, my vote is for the suburbs. Having him there in your kids' lives as they grow up is so important.

Best of luck to you!

ingrate! this poor guy is busting his ass for your family in a dystopian hellhole and you describe that as living like a bachelor. where to start .. for one thing you don't seem interested in his needs or point of view, which does not bode well.

I'm going to be that asshole, but really? I loathe hearing first world problems such as this 'dilemma'. Most people here can barely afford to have kids AND a nice home ( and dear god tell me you're working as well if you have a nanny).

Do you only see your husband as a paycheque? Ft. Mac is a shit hole and his schedule sounds horrendous. Yet, he's willing to do it to provide for his family -- you can't give him that same courtesy? Stress? Because you *MIGHT* have to move to Burnaby or Coquitlam?

This sense of entitlement is why the world thinks Westerners are assholes.

I'm from Calgary. It is a great city for raising kids and getting ahead. The cost of living is half, traffic is half as bad, people are twice as friendly and the shopping/ restaurant scene is exploding thanks to all the new money. It's a city of 1 million plus made up mostly of young families and oil people from all over...just like you...your family will have no trouble relating to everyone on the block. The mountains/ ski culture are world class to get your kids through the winter and the summers are hot. Plus with all the money you will save, you will be able to afford to travel or buy a cabin getaway...and still have a nanny and a nice yard...and a three car garage...and a personal trainer. Or better yet, downsize and save the cash so not to be in a situation like this again.

I suggest you keep an open mind and look at the big picture...short term relocation for long term gain? An adventure, a challenge! YOUR social life may temporarily take a back seat, but you will gain so much freedom from the financial burden of keepin up with the Vancouverites and make many new friends. Your kids will have the opportunity to live someplace new and form new friendships...which builds character... and your husband/ marriage will be much happier. Try it for 5 years. I too love Vancouver and the good news is that Vancouver will always be here.