...still feeling it. Knowing that it will never go away. I hope it does for you. Good luck.

Why do you think you only have yourself to blame? It usually really does take two. Heart ache is never an easy thing to go through but give yourself a break. Go easy on yourself now and try to learn from the past and the next time perhaps you will approach things a bit differently.
Wishes for healing and much happiness.

*Ususally* being the key word. Men can be c**ts sometimes. No matter how good they have it, they'll still go f**k anything that moves. Just ask my bf of 20 years ago, who damaged me beyond belief, but still loves me and has tried to maintain a relationship with me ever since. He knows he fucked up, he has settled for someone else who's nearly old enough to be his mother. Yet, he keeps coming back to me, calls me for 3 hour talks. He's one sorry wanker, but I'd never take him back. That realationship nearly destroyed me. Takes two people? Like hell it does.

It does take two people. Sure, one person does the hurting but the other person has a choice to hold on to the hurt or to learn from it and let it go. It's not easy, but it's doable. If you have chosen, after 20 years, to continue to blame your ex for the hurt he caused you, continued to allow him into your life and give up your precious time for him, still (3 hour talks? Really?), then you are just as to blame for how much hurt you still feel as he is. Actually, at this point, your hurt is all your fault. No, it wasn't your fault he cheated on you (if that's what happened), but it's your fault you still let it affect you. It's probably been longer since the hurt than you were together. Do yourself a favor and let the hurt go. While you're at it, stop taking his calls. Talk about rubbing salt in the wound.

This is what I hope the one who crushed me feels.It's only been a few days since I was dumped for someone else. Trying to work though the mess of what is mine and what is theirs. Lives lessons can be so hard. One day I will love again. And so will you. At lest you know what mistakes you made so you won't repeat.

Thanks for the kind words all - appreciate it. I'd say that although every case is different, I generally agree with the whole "it takes two people" argument that JEM brought up.

In this case, however, nothing as horrible as cheating or anything like that happened. I more blame myself for my own inaction, and not doing anything about it while I had the chance.

Oh no you're fucked up from a relationship that never happened? Haha, sucks to be you!

That happens to me all the time

I can relate to this. Inaction leads to "What if"s and then that's the worst, when you wonder that.

Breaks my heart too, believe me. Never loved anyone like this. Did everything I could though :(