Insecurity

I went away for the weekend with some girlfriends who are all considerably more 'girly' than me. They spent the whole weekend talking about all their flaws, their cellulite. their fat asses, blemishes, frizzy hair, and imperfect skin. To me, they are all beautiful... smart, funny, accomplished, thin, curvy... It breaks my heart that these women wake up in the morning and put on makeup to cover their 'flaws'. Why do women have to live this way? Why do women fixate on what they think isn't perfect rather than just live in the skin they have? I feel like I can't tell anyone this because if I do, they'll feel like I'm being condescending and judging them. But I just think we shouldn't have to put on cosmetics, wear spanx, wear nipple covers, back comb our hair, put on fake nails, spray tan, etc. all to be something we are not. We are what we are. Why can't we all just accept that and then devote our energy to something real, like helping others, solving environmental problems, etc.?

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Welcome to the City...

Aug 26, 2014 at 10:58am

That's just how it is and has been for a longggg time. Unfortunately there's nothing you can do about it, but you make a really good point :)

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Crushaholic

Aug 26, 2014 at 11:33am

Sometimes all that primping and backcombing is a job requirement. Ever work in sales?

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guys

Aug 26, 2014 at 11:35am

are very visual. Girls like to look good to attract guys.
These are things that they think will make them look good.

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ironically...

Aug 26, 2014 at 11:56am

at least for me, I am more attracted to women like yourself... self-accepting, confident just as they are, strong body image etc... nothing turns me off more than a woman with body insecurities! Men love confident women who love their bodies - curves and all!

That kind of self-acceptance (and I'm not talking about arrogance, which is a even bigger turn-off than a lack of confidence) completely trumps any perceived flaws. Confident women with a healthy body image = very hot!

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I get ya

Aug 26, 2014 at 12:09pm

For some reason, talking shit about yourself has become a female bonding activity- remember that scene in Mean Girls? "My nail beds suck."

I am outwardly feminine myself- I do my hair and make-up most (not all) days, and do enjoy a mani-pedi, but I refuse to sit around and talk about my cellulite and split ends, and try to redirect the conversation when my female coworkers start putting themselves down because it's such an unhealthy conversation.

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Because

Aug 26, 2014 at 12:35pm

people are idiots.

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Said by the girl

Aug 26, 2014 at 1:13pm

who is naturally skinny, has perfect skin, great hair and nails, and no self esteem issues.

Well, good for you! We'd love to be in your shoes!

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Love

Aug 26, 2014 at 1:35pm

your post. I had to take space from my group of girls who were this way inclined. I'm freer and happier now. xo

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I'm with ya!

Aug 26, 2014 at 4:22pm

So many times, hanging out with girlfriends and hearing them complain about their image or spend hours fretting over what they look like and what people will think.
Sure, women will do these things to attract men, but honestly, I have the best man and he doesn't care if I wear sweatpants or a sundress. Of course he'll compliment me when he knows I've done some extra primping, but doesn't pay any less attention to me when I'm makeup-less in my PJs.
At the same time, I have confidence because I have a good sense of humour and a brain. Many (not all) women who constantly fret about their appearance don't have all that much more to offer.
I say find some good girlfriends who aren't so negative. Sounds like we'd be buds.

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My motto

Aug 26, 2014 at 4:44pm

Are you happy in your own skin? Yes, Then live life.

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