Open your mind a little and stop being so unidimensional

Oh here we go,more shaming.
It's cheaper on the guys-no giving out half your accrued investment or condo value to a woman you maybe dated off and on with for 2 years,yet never even lived with.

Most all of my coworkers and friends are divorced,none of them were wife beaters nor cheaters,and now in their 40's and 50's they were thinking of retiring in 8-10 years and a good life.Now,working until they're 70 and living in a basement suite.

Stay single,guys: bank all the money that you can,invest all you can,don't buy stupid cars/live cheap and you can be retired at 40 like I am.
I travel when I want,do whatever I want,and date all the sub 30 y.o women you guys spend money on trying to impress.

What is a commitment phobe? They don't have a credit card because they cannot commit to paying it off? They don't have a home because they cannot commit to paying utilities or having a key? They don't buy clothes but rent from costume shops because they cannot commit to having the same look every day?

Wow, you know some weirdos.

Alternatively, I think you are referring to people who will not commit to having one partner for the indefinite future.

(I *am* one of those people. And some think I should be committed alright..but I digress.)

You could call that being afraid to commit.

You could also, if you were charitable, call it being afraid to divorce. Afraid to make promises that they (realistically, given human evolutionary biology) have a 50/50 chance of breaking, given the opportunity. Afraid to be a hypocrite.

Or, a repulsive immature lothario, which also is a thing.

ps Oops, posted before reading. I meant to say, am one of those committed peoples. My talk about freedom, open mindedness etc is largely theoretical!

It's not shaming and I get we're all different. If you want to be single, be single. I'm not saying it's sad to be single. I'm saying it's sad that people are proud that they're scared to commit to anything. There's nothing wrong with being proud to be single or not in a committed relationship. But there is something sad about someone who takes pride in the fact that, "I can't even commit to a cell phone contract, let alone a man!" Own what you are (single, co-dependent, or anything in between), but don't be ashamed of it or pseudoapologetic, which is basically what people who say they're afraid of commitment are doing.

In my experience of meeting people, through my profession and socially, it's people who have to boast about what they are that are the most insecure about it.

OP

I wasn't afraid of commitment, I was afraid of the wrong commitment.
I've already made it...
it's OK now, it's over.
I didn't die. I didn't fall apart. I did the best I knew how with the information I had. I loved with my whole heart.
I was wrong.
It's OK.
Gave it a shot. I may fall in love again but the real reason I was a commitmentphobe? I know that there is not match for me in this life, no real lasting love, no one to make out with in mad oblivion in the rain... just fleeting lustful moments.

I enjoy them when I can and smile when I see white haired couples holding hands...
it will never be me.
Nor will I ever be the person resenting the sleeping breath of the person I have spent my life with as they lie in bed next to me...

The women usually have a Dad that left them at a young age...and they keep going for guys like their father and reject guys that want something more.

Is that something to be proud of?

Well, no more or less than being proud of WANTING commitment.

You're not really exposing the truth with your post as much as your own particular thoughts on the matter. There is no right or wrong on this

with the OP. It is sad when people pride themselves on having zero emotional attachments. OP, I think it's great that you recognized yourself once your friend made the same commitmentphobe comments. For the most part I think commitmentphobes are self-centered and lack maturity.

If you look at it this way, commitmentphobes don't believe in long-term commitment to anything. Therefore,

- their employer should be able to fire them at will
- their landlord should also be able to evict them at will
- their doctor should be free to stop services at any time without notice
- etc.

Commitmentphobes want OTHER people to commit to them long-term, but they feel no obligation to act reciprocally. They want to do what they want, when they want, how they want, all the time. Then they complain about feeling alone in this world.

"A rolling stone gathers no moss"
-Publilius Syrus

I am guilty of doing this but at the time i didn't realize how i was making excuses up for myself and generally being a prick. I feel bad now i ruined some relationships with some nice women and now im scratching my head like what the hell is wrong with me!?