Back on the market

My most recent relationship has ended as it usually does - amicably. The thought of having to go back online and find someone new to date makes me ill. I just went onto POF to see who is on there. Lots of potentials but I can't do it. I met my most recent ex online and it was gamechanging. I honestly don't think lightning will strike twice. Time to brush up on my mingling skills. Ugh.

11 Comments

Post a Comment

same boat

Oct 19, 2014 at 10:03pm

I have met and dated MANY online. guess what, They are STILL online. Don't go back. The men (and in some cases the women) are there for a reason. And its NOT to met anyone for anything real. You are only wasting time.
They might advertise that the percentage is high for people meeting online.. that's true, hooking up is easy, so is dating for a few weeks or months.
But statics also show that online relationships have a very short life.
If you don't believe me, do a search now and a year, hell even 3 years from now. The same men will be there with the same photos posted, saying "I have never done this before", writing a profile of what they think you want to hear but their actions are not relationship seeking.
Get out and mingle in the real world, if you want to meet a real partner. Trust me, that online person isn't going anywhere. They will always be there still clicking as they stare at their iPhone or laptop screen night after night after night.
YOU will be out, meeting real socially available people.

0 0Rating: 0

oh no

Oct 20, 2014 at 3:05am

Please do not say you see potentials on POF.
You can do so much better than that.
Aim for a better quality of person.
PS; I'm guessing you may be a man, because rarely does a girl say it ends amicably. hmm maybe I'm wrong.

0 0Rating: 0

In the same boat

Oct 20, 2014 at 6:08am

as you and have the same feelings about online dating. I'm tired and don't think I have energy for that. It's very hard to find someone you have crazy chemistry. It's rare and when it comes, don't let it go!

0 0Rating: 0

@ same boat (the first one)

Oct 20, 2014 at 12:17pm

THANK YOU!! I've been trying to explain to a friend how much I loathe online dating and what you've mentioned is one of the reasons. I've dabbled on and off for over 10 years and the same people I saw in 2002 on Lavalife are the same people I see now on OKCupid (probably still on Lavalife too). There's got to be something to that!

If online dating is supposed to be the only way to meet people now, why are the same people still actively on there for 10+ years?

I know it works for some people, just not for me and really tired of being told that I *have* to do it if I want to meet someone. Sorry, but I'd rather be alone than go through the interview process after reading someone's BS profile...

Good luck OP!

0 0Rating: 0

My two cents

Oct 20, 2014 at 4:03pm

I think the free online dating sites offer low quality candidates. Any male or female can have a profile there. They could be single. Most likely they are married. I think some people have profiles posted to see how "attractive" they are to others. I know married men who have profiles on Tinder, because they get an ego boost if another female "swipes right" on them.

I met my partner through e-Harmony. Yes, it's a dating site, but you have to go through an extensive questionaire before you even can freely email each other. It also costs money, like $75/month. The candidates here are more serious about meeting someone than free sites like POF.

I've found the best way to meet people (and new friends) are at activities that I totally love. I've gone to concerts alone because I loved the musician, and met people who I clicked with, and have similar interests with.

Good luck, OP. You sound like a nice person at heart!

0 0Rating: 0

Newlysingle

Oct 20, 2014 at 4:13pm

Well I just got out of an 18 month relationship. Met him online... we weren't really compatible but i think we were both just trying to make it work coz we didn't want to have to join the online dating scene again!
I think i will eventually have to go back online (when I feel ready) but I'm also going to try and meet people socially, through clubs etc.

0 0Rating: 0

Natty

Oct 20, 2014 at 4:33pm

@ My two cents

You're lucky to have had that experience, because I don't think it's the majority. I have paid for eHarmony on 2 occasions, and the quality of my overall matches was very poor. I did have relationships out of it, though one ended when the guy thought it was ok to badmouth my friends and the other when the guy moved away. Also, many of the faces from eHarmony were the same ones I saw elsewhere.

So I just keep on plugging away at the free sites. I figure if someone like me is searching, there has to be a male equivalent out there too.

0 0Rating: 0

Online dating

Oct 20, 2014 at 6:52pm

It's one more way to meet people but don't put all your eggs in one basket. Get out there and do the things you love. Of course there are a lot of slightly odd (and in many cases, just lonely) folks on these sites...but I too met a game changer that way and I have no regrets. Good people can be found in all sorts of places...even pof ;)

0 0Rating: 0

Disharmony

Oct 20, 2014 at 9:51pm

I'd have have to side with Natty. I've been on eHarmony, POF and Match.com all at the same time. There was a lot of cross-over between eHarmony and POF, but a better selection, if you will, on Match (also a pay site). Basically, a lot of my eHarmony matches were also on POF.

A lot of my friends actually met online and they have great relationships. But they had to meet a lot of wrong people before they met each other. It's possible to meet a great person online just like it is to meet someone great in person. It's the attitude that's different. I always got the sense that the guys I was meeting online basically saw me as a option. I met some guys who were great at first but the minute I wasn't available on their time, they'd move on to the next woman who was willing to drop everything to meet with them. Too much choice means not as many people treat meeting people seriously.

0 0Rating: 0

agree

Oct 20, 2014 at 10:24pm

If you want to be an option, then yes, date online.

If you want to be a priority stay offline.

Real people looking to meet are out there every day, not clicking and swiping on iPhones or laptop for profile pics. Look around you, right now, there is a male or female waiting to meet you. make it happen. :)

0 0Rating: 0

Join the Discussion

What's your name?