Happy Halloween

Everything feels black and white today. Actually, I've felt like this for a while.. Nothing ever changes. I don't want to be here anymore. I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up sometimes but I'm a coward. My dream is to die. I have no purpose, me breathing and existing on this earth is pathetic. But it will go on for years to come because hey, the show must go on. Unfortunately for me the show will have to go on until I grow some balls. At least today I can wear a mask.

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Been there

Oct 31, 2014 at 5:17pm

Hey,

I've been there. Something really dramatic had to happen for me to realize how serious my depression was. Don't let it get to that point. Reaching out might seem fucking IMPOSSIBLE. But it's not. I promise you. Depression doesn't have a quick fix, and I still deal with the thought of suicide. But there will be a day when something so unexpected and so refreshing happens, and for a second you'll smile. I promise you.

For me it was sitting on the beach in the rain.

Reach out. You'll feel something other then pain. If you need someone anonymous to talk to you have me. You can also chat online with the crisis line. They SAVED me.

Happy Halloween friend, you're not alone.

Xxoo

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But you're so witty!

Oct 31, 2014 at 6:36pm

Those last two sentences put a huge smile on my face. You're a smart writer!

I know how you feel about things not changing. Even though there have been huge transitions going on on both a global and individual level right now, everything seems stagnant at its core - like we have passed a point of no return and nothing is going to get better, ever. I get depressed just turning on the radio, so I have stopped.

Don't leave - we need good people like you who notice that something is just not quite right, and who don't walk around with blinders on. Consider "purpose" as something that can be downsized for now... just start with a small goal for each day, like making a tasty meal, going for a short walk, or doing something for 20 minutes that you used to enjoy. Just being you is enough. Thanks for your confession; I'm sure you're not alone in feeling this way.

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You have been brain washed

Oct 31, 2014 at 7:53pm

by society that feeling happy 24/7 is norm but its not. Caffein from Starbucks and Pepsi is abnormal state of being perpetuated by capitalists. Enjoys lifes lows and highs my good friend and dont be too hard on yourself. He good to yourself.

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Please

Oct 31, 2014 at 9:06pm

I've been there. And I may go back. But forever I will be grateful that I did something about it. You need to do something about it too. Take care of yourself and please, get help.

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John Cage'll give it to you straight

Oct 31, 2014 at 9:37pm

"The highest purpose is to have no purpose at all.This puts one in accordance with nature,in her manner of operation."
Also,get a lightbox if you have S.A.D.. Try Macdonald"s pharmacy,they helped me sort the wheat from the chaff lightbox-wise.Ten-odd years later,still works like a charm.

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The day and nights

Oct 31, 2014 at 9:58pm

would be too lonely without. The world would seem empty. I see your beauty within the beat of your heart. Your path maybe imposable to see at the moment. But hang in there. The mist will clear. Find help were ever you need. Happy Halloween, my blessed friend

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