Described very well. I was diagnosed with mild depression.

A first world problem: creating problems where none exist. A case of Afluenza if there ever was...

Reality will always suck when compared to the ideal world you invented in your head.

Peace usually comes from acceptance of what is, not from finding perfection and staying in it. Everything is constantly changing (including you), so even the ideal situation will not remain so for long.

Many people are unsettled because of the dissonance between their professional, social and private identities. Each of those settings requires a different version of your personality, because different rules and expectations apply.

All this is why antidepressants are so widely used. Why be frustrated, when you can take a pill for it?

You are not much different from the norm, in that you find no serenity in the outside world. It is not to be found there - it can only exist in your mind.

you sound normal to me

Sounds familiar. One thing I'll point out is that if you don't feel like you fit in or that your life isn't setup the way you want it... Then it isn't. Recognize this and start to take steps to make your life the one you want.

you might be an introvert? Research it…I always felt a lot of what you describe…when I found out I was just introverted the world became easier to live in. It's worth looking into…best of luck to you!

You're right - I am definitely an introvert. I've been trying to adjust to the world and find environments that are suitable for my introverted nature, but I guess where a lot of my depression stems from is that I feel like it's hard to find those environments. It is definitely an extroverted world out there. That's part of the reason I feel I don't fit in at work. I'm surrounded by extroverts and work in an open office where I can't get away from them. It exhausts me and causes me to withdraw even more. How did you go about adjusting your life to suit the fact that you're an introvert? I'm trying, slowly but surely.

Introverts (like myself) prefer work that can be done in isolation, or at least privacy (your own office, scheduled and limited office hours for interaction with others, or by appointment only).

Contract gigs, consulting, and project work are like that. Most jobs are not.

Unless introverts are accommodated in a workplace, their performance and morale will suffer, until they leave. There is data on this.

Finding serenity in your life is a larger challenge.

Everybody in a corporate work environment is a fake version of themselves. That's how you survive, and that's how work gets done. The only job I had where being "myself" was day-to-day requirement was tutoring - kids detect insincerity, and fast. As for the happiness gene - not everybody who appears happy is truly happy. They could be drunk, high, in denial, faking it because they think life is a competition to prove who's happiest, or just gratified and not truly fulfilled. There's a difference between the two.

Thanks all, for the words of encouragement! It's amazing what the advice from anonymous strangers can do to put things into perspective :)