What I Want

First time I meet a man I want it to be amazing. Similar to the Ferris Wheel scene in the Notebook. Then on our first date I want to be absolutely swept off my feet. There has to be electricity in the air and fireworks. Sadly the men in this city think going for coffee is a great first date especially when they expect me to pay for my own coffee. I mean its $2.00. Not exactly breaking the bank. Just makes you seem cheap. I have no problems with splitting meals and movie tickets. I just want to be swept off my feet by the most amazing handsome and gentle man.

22 Comments

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Natty

Mar 28, 2015 at 12:34pm

You are asking a lot of a first date. The best I hope for is chemistry. There is nothing nicer than meetibg someone who shares a similar quick wit and doesn't bore you to tears with stories about his job.

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what??

Mar 28, 2015 at 12:56pm

Grown men (who are serious about dating, yes even in 2015) do not take a grown woman for coffee on a first date.
I have NEVER had a man (in Vancouver) suggest a coffee date, its almost always dinner, or some social event.
It seems to be the men you are meeting that is the problem.
Men know how to court,(even the young ones) you just have to meet the ones that are serious.

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bx

Mar 28, 2015 at 1:05pm

sadly the females in vancity have ridiculous expectations. Newsflash: movie scenes are not a reflection of reality.

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Well

Mar 28, 2015 at 1:32pm

"Sadly the men in this city think going for coffee is a great first date"

The problem is that he pays and much of the time she's just trying to get a free dinner and drinks-he shells out $50,and she takes off and ignores calls.

We hear about all these "strong, independant" women- so how about YOU pay for dinner and drinks?

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Troll alert

Mar 28, 2015 at 1:40pm

I guess it depends on how two people meet. A man who's pursuing a woman will fight to pay her share even if she wants to pay. Two people who meet online and want to get to know each other better tend to do the egalitarian no-pressure coffee date. I know of women who prefer the coffee date, and to pay her own way, so that in the offchance she decides that she's not into him, he can't accuse her of "owing" him any favours. I've had problems in the past with men like this who insisted on paying my share so that he could guilt-trip me down the road for not returning his affections. Thankfully I am now in a financial position where I can outright throw cash at a man who ever tries to pull this stunt on me.

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geeknomad

Mar 28, 2015 at 2:36pm

Attention freight handler:
Please deliver wealthy, tall, dark and handsome prince, complete with (and hung like) horse, that shall woo me in this highly specific way, to the following address...

Tough enough when you're so specific as to the "who" OR the "how". When you demand both, you will likely get neither, and in any case, your prince will be seeking a BBD (bigger, better deal) very soon.

There is always going to be someone out there who is a better deal than you. Wealthy, tall, dark and handsome princes, complete with (and hung like) horse, who know how to woo, have many options, of which you are but one.

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It is cheap

Mar 28, 2015 at 2:37pm

My single girlfriends have told me about these first coffee dates where the man will only pay for his coffee. To my single girlfriends, they perceive this as the guy not being interested in them. If it happened to me, I wouldn't be left with a good impression of the man. Let the cheapskates go on without you.

As for wanting fireworks and chemistry, it's normal to wish for something like that. But I would be cautious about trying to live up to some Hollywood film fantasy.

Not sure if it helps, but every Saturday the New York Times publishes a real modern day love story called Modern Love. You can read about how love happens to others. Rarely is it like The Notebook. But it can be even more sweet and dedicated than you can imagine.

Love is possible for you.

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That's cute

Mar 28, 2015 at 2:48pm

You still think that's how dating is supposed to work.

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sorry

Mar 28, 2015 at 3:33pm

But any man that complains about having to take a woman out (when they are first meeting, or dating) isn't ready to date.

The only men -boys that complain about this are the ones that just wanna hook up and have no real interest in actually meeting and getting to know a woman they could have a relationship with.
Its just a lame excuse.

Doesn't matter if the guy is 25 or 65, If he wants to get to know a woman for more than a quick f**k, he knows how to date her.
He doesn't need reminding nor does he whine and complain about it.
Granted he selects the woman he wants, and then makes it happen.
For every woman that says(not gold-diggers but actual woman who are looking for a good man to get to know) " I don't need a man to court me, or pay for my dinner, or do things for me",
Guess what.....
He won't. guess why??
Because YOU are already the MAN in the relationship. How's that working out for you single women??

Complain about men, tell and show they you are better, stronger, more independent, DONT need them, you can do it better, you are the boss, etc.. and wonder why you are alone.

I'm not saying to be a pushover, but to get love, you have to know how to receive the things he wants to do for you. (regardless of the whether the thing is dinner,(he cooks or buys it, all gestures, big and small) and yes, feel free to reciprocate later.

All of my male friends ,(though single and married, divorced and now dating)past and current boyfriends, etc.. wouldn't have it any other way.

remember the little boy in kindergarten when you were both so little, who made you a special card, or bought you something small, or gave you his lunch treat??? even he knew how to do it.

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So...

Mar 28, 2015 at 3:41pm

Where is this ferris wheel in Vancouver ?

Haha..?

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