Good for you. A bit new here (10 months in) and I've found the women here are a bit nonchalant as you've described. Try something different!

Although I've noticed decent men here are pretty slim pickings (works in my favour), there are good ones out there that have drive, determination and intelligence and are turned on by the same thing in women. At our age (30's), screw the pretense of 'men should chase women' or other BS and just go with what feels right,... life is too short for missed, meaningful connections!

Secure, confident, capable people usually appreciate a direct approach. They have stuff to do, and courting rituals intrigue them much less.

Those that want games, drama and movie cliches are probably not your bag, anyway.

Love your style. Don't lose that.

It weirds us out because it happens so infrequently in Vancouver much like getting hit by lightning or winning the lottery to go into space. If women in B.C. would commit to more of this normal social behaviour that requires confidence and social ability, dating would be like the rest of the planet.

I have had one woman approached me here in the decade that I have lived in BC but when I travel it takes a day or two to normalize because it happens more frequently than you would think.

It's a B.C. thing, maybe you should lead a new movement here.

That is way to dramatic sounding. I think you've watched way too many J.Lo movies.

I feel like I share a lot of similarities with you in the fact that I'm a very independent and more reserved girl, so I am often pretty aloof and nonchalant with guys even though I'm very interested in them. I have trouble letting my guard down and letting them know I'm interested, not only because I don't want to scare them away, but because I'm afraid too - it's hard for me to be vulnerable and open myself up to people. It doesn't happen very often, so when there's a guy that comes along that actually makes me want to do this, that means he is special. Which kind of scares me.

Me being this way has caused me to miss out on worthwhile guys, and I hate that. After all, I can't blame guys for not approaching me or putting themselves out there when I won't do it either. I want to be more direct and approach them, but it is hard for me, and I need to work on it. I think it's great that you have managed to do this, and I think you should keep doing it. The type of guy that is suitable for you will appreciate it, and I feel you will get a lot farther in finding a relationship this way than the avoidance method like I've been doing. Keep up the good work and good luck!

Women, that is! I've long been had the view that if you want something, you have to go after it. Sure, you might get lucky and have it fall into your lap, but it's not a good strategy overall.

I approach men that I find attractive and/or interesting all the time! Most men are extremely flattered to have a woman approach them, even if they aren't interested or available. It's what sets women and men apart from the girls and the boys. Sure, I've had the occasional guy get weirded out by a woman taking the lead, but since I have no interest in traditional gender roles, it works out nicely for me.

Oh, and not to toot my own horn, but women who ask men out tend to be way better in bed, since they're so much more confident overall!

Happy Dating, Gorgeous!

I feel like I could have written your post. I'm not interested in the games and the bs. Say what you mean and mean what you say. If I like a guy, I let him know. Any guy that gets scared off by me me being upfront and honest probably isn't a guy I'd be compatible with. I think there are a lot of guys who find women like us a little too much. But there are definitely guys out there who will appreciate is all the more for it.

I absolutely love women who can express their vulnerability, although I've rarely come across them. Seems these days peeps would rather put on an 'invincible' front and keep the walls up. The only way to inner peace is to let it all out

I came out of a long term relationship very confident, independent and willing to be vulnerable. I'm a super open person and it has led me to always have extremely open and fulfilling relationships (friendship wise) throughout my life but I definitely agree that after a year or two of dating I had started to feel that approach was not working (much to my chagrin). I startrd to wonder if I had to "play the game" if I wanted to not scare people off .

But lately I've been meeting people that are appreciative of me and the way I am. I think for me I was definitely attracted to people that were emotionally closed. I also think our culture makes it harder for men to be open communicators (but I see this changing with the upcoming generation which is sweet)

Anyway I'm finding it hard to convey the complexity of this over my iPhone but I just wanted you to know that you're not alone and you should still continue to be you and ignore the games.

men are a bit put off if the woman appears too eager. (I have lost potential dates this way). I don't think it's our job to pursue, but certainly to flirt and openly show an interest. Or..if you do ask a guy out, then back off a bit and give him the opportunity to take the next step from there.