Children are sensitive to parents in highly tumultuous relationships. Studies show that children who grow up with divorced but dedicated parents grow up better adjusted than parents who stay married but are spiteful and deeply unhappy.

My god, you sound like an absolute prick. She has a government job, right? Is that a full-time position? Does she look after 'your' kids. Do you help out around the house? There are a whole lot of real issues here, and your venting on Confessions is not likely to solve your problems. If you really love your children then don't make life in your home a living hell. Get some counselling, share the household responsibilities, and really communicate what you need from your wife. You need to deal with your anger, 'cause nobody wants to sleep with that. Good luck.

You sound like an idiot blaming her and Jesus for your mistake in marrying this person that you have now deemed to to be unsuitable.

AFAIK the two most traumatic divorces are

(1) Where mom and dad are physically fighting
(2) Where there is no apparent reason why mom and dad should split up.

It sounds to me like (2) would be the case for the OP, tho of course we have little to go by. If there is serious acting out, then that is an issue, but if there is little more than wife bumbling along, hubby rueing the day he met her, that is really quite a typical and healthy marriage---I take it you might have forgotten how sitcoms were in the Bad Old Days. Marriage is not meant to be enjoyed; it is called an institution for a reason.

Also, as a member of a family of bureaucrats, I sympathize with you---the bureaucrat is an interesting creature. In my experience it rarely has much of a handle on what gets it where it is; talk to it about its wages being extorted at gunpoint, and most of them just turn off, rather than saying "yeah, ain't public works grand?"

It might help to regard your marriage more as a business for raising children, not as anything to do with _your_ fulfillment. After all, we have children so that they can have an independent future, not because we use the children to provide our own fulfillment, right? This is how marriage was regarded for most of history, unless massmedia started selling fairytales to the population...

I'd love to hear about your lofty education and smart fashion sense!

Confessions is extra awesome today!! :)

Do yourself a favour, stop focusing on the things you don't control, take an inventory of the things you have to be grateful for, leave her, pay her out, fight for your kids, then take some time and figure out what you really want and find a partner who wants the same things and is willing to put the same effort into getting there. You're wasting your time complaining about something you actually have control over. Life is too short to waste on idiots. Nothing is going to change if you stay in this relationship, in fact will get worse. Everyone, especially your kids, will be better off not witnesses this train wreck span years in slow motion. Neither of you are going to change so leave. It'll be expensive, but it'll be worth it.

she was this way when you met her. You continued to date her, let her move in, married her and had children with her.
So why? Obviously the fit was off. You chose the ignore the most important things. You knew this would be the outcome.
Yet you are surprised.

What you needed to say and know from the get go.
1. What your expectations are in a relationship.
2. Who will be the provider-what both of you will be responsible for.,
3.Affection, sex, -communication about needs
4. Goals for the present and future- (are you goals inline), ie; the lifestyle you want, where you'll live, children or not, income earner,
family unit, couple time, house responsibilities, etc..
5. are you both doing things that will strengthen the marriage and bond and supporting each others goals? Do you believe that what benefits one, benefits the union of the relationship, is your marriage important to both of you. do you do and say things that make it better every day?

If these don't match up the relationship will fail.
One person will feel cheated, resentful, unvalued, disrespected, etc..in your case, you need to re-evaluate and get your marriage on the right track. sooner then later, or watch it slid further and you will become more resentful as each day passes.
Staying for the children is always wrong- it does more harm then good. They will feel the resentment .
For newbies...Number one rule.
Making sure the long term fit is more important then the quick surface stuff. .What do you want and need? what can you offer?
Does she/he possess the things,skills, goals, wants, passion, to build a life together?

Did people miss the part about him paying for all her expenses? She oughta do some cooking and cleaning. The "traditional" division of labour in a marriage is "unequal" by today's by-the-book, one-for-one standards, but gosh darnit, it's fair. If I were in a relationship, you bet I'd cook and clean for him. Chances are, I'll work from home, and he won't. And I'd cook and clean even if I do make more money than he does (and statistics and probabilities in my line of work say that I do).

I didn't realize a college education was necessary for being a worthy person. Thanks for the enlightenment. Oh wait, it doesn't. Neither is ones ability to cook and clean a deciding factor of worth. OP, you sound pretentious and judgmental.
Perhaps your wife doesn't cook for you or clean for you or have sex with you because she's miserable with you.