Need some advice or opinion..

One of my best friends told me she " spent the night" at my boyfriends best friends place, only thing is, is he has a girlfriend that he has been with for a couple of years now. My girlfriend didn't know and appearntly he assured her he wasn't in a relationship. I feel stuck in a sense were I feel like I should tell my boyfriend considering I tell him everything, but a part of me feels if I do that it may effect their friendship in a negative way. I haven't seen his friend since before this whole thing happened and I don't know how I should act around him. It really pisses me off but at the same time it's not really my business, and then again I'm like his girlfriend is very sweet and does not deserve that but I don't really know her that well and wouldn't know what to even say. PLUS THIS IS ALSO MY BEST FREIND who was apart of this and she told me in confidence... It there a right or wrong way to handle this or should I go on my way. I would want to know though if I was the girl be cheated on! Gaahhh some one give me some advice! I've resorted to the confessions in the Georgia Straight because I'm so confused and can't talk to anyone!!! Gahhhhhhh!!!

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geeknomad

Aug 27, 2015 at 9:07am

Been there, and chose to interfere. Once. Lost two friendships. Never again.

If it's not your relationship, and all you have is hearsay, stay out of it. If it was a one-time thing, and these people drink socially, someone will likely spill eventually. If this is a regular thing for him, it will very likely come out at some point regardless.

Learn from my mistake, and stay out of other people's politics. Or don't, and enjoy the consequences of getting involved.

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oo awkward

Aug 27, 2015 at 9:21am

break the code, tell him to tell her or you will. or just tell her. I'm so sick of people getting played like this. It doesn't mean they'll break up, just that they have some revamping to do.

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Keep Your

Aug 27, 2015 at 1:41pm

Trap shut. Like you said, its none of your business. She told you in confidence and said she didn't know he had a girlfriend. The end.

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Arachides

Aug 27, 2015 at 6:37pm

If he's had a girlfriend for a couple of years chances are there would be some signs around his place to indicate he had one, photos, girly colours or pillows, bathroom products and so on. Alternatively he probably 'cleans-up' the place when he wants to drag strays home. If he's cheated with her it's probably not the first time for him.
So if you can live with the lies and deception don't be surprised if one of his or her friends lies to you face to face, even her, Karma.
Put the boyfriends in the spotlight to come clean, if neither can it's time to walk away before marriage and children enter the mix, You can always find new trustworthy friends.

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Hopeless wanderer

Aug 27, 2015 at 7:02pm

I'm with geeknomad on this, stay out of it. I too lost friends over choosing to tell. This is one of those situations where the messenger always gets shot.

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Sucks

Aug 27, 2015 at 7:38pm

What a horrible situation. Especially for the girl being cheated on. She is the last to know and that's going to destroy her when she finds out.
My advice is say nothing but try to help her figure it out for herself.

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I've got a juicy idea.

Aug 27, 2015 at 11:51pm

Invite all 3 of 'em out to dinner/drinks with you and your boyfriend.

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Well...

Aug 28, 2015 at 2:50am

it is hard enough for people to maintain relationships without people telling their significant others the awful truth! I say keep quiet.

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It depends

Aug 28, 2015 at 5:36am

- Does your best friend want to tell the girlfriend? If she doesn't want to get involved, I probably wouldn't either. It's their own business.
- Are you friends with the girlfriend? You might feel guilty for not telling her but she might not even appreciate if you did, and instead kill the messenger. Also, is it worth losing your close relationships over this?
- Does your best friend allow you to tell your boyfriend? (If not, don't!) If your friend wants to denounce the cheater, check with your boyfriend first since he's best friends with him. Then:
- Does your boyfriend want to denounce his friend? He is in the best position to put pressure on his friend to come clean. If your boyfriend doesn't want to get involved, it's best for you not to do so as this could lead to an awkward situation for your boyfriend where he would have to choose between you too. In this case, tell your best friend to denounce him herself.

In summary, either your best friend or your boyfriend should speak to the cheater or to his girlfriend. The only situation in which you might want to do get involved is if you are close enough to the girlfriend to tell her, and are willing to risk your relationships with your best friend and boyfriend.

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Easy..

Aug 28, 2015 at 6:33am

Say nothing! this will not work out well for you. I was told by a drunk girl i kind of know at the bar that she slept with her ex's best friend a bunch of times. I though i didn't know who this guy was. A few months later i started hanging with said guy through my boyfriend and this guys girlfriend too. He even gives me the hey how you doing eye when we're all out together. The girlfriend is really nice and they've been together a few years. BUT this is nothing to do with me. and why would i want to be a part of destroying someones relationship? This guy will probably do it himself anyways. Sorry for going on and on but i really just wanted to say don't say anything but at the same time... THANK YOU for finally letting me get that off my chest! i've not told my boyfriend his new buddy is a dog. I'm just keeping out of it., you should too.

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