Odd choices, but leave me be...

One could say, without a shadow of doubt, that I'm an eccentric and a hermit. I'm a male who has, by choice, given my soul to my career because I love it more than anything and don't care in the slightest about its meager earnings. I can't drive a car. I do live on my own surrounded by books. I'm not drawn to the idea of marriage, nor can I see myself being a father to anything other than cats. I have a handful of wonderfully close, good friends with knowledge-thirsty minds like mine. I dabble in hobbies galore, many of which would attract a woman head-over-heals. And yet, this is the thing, the moment I let myself fall in love or someone special falls for me, my lifestyle and wish to not be like most in terms of social norms/expectations comes into conflict with those who expect and idealize anything but. I'm constantly questioned by people (even outside romance) as to why I don't want a family or to set up a white picket-fenced life for myself or why I don't pursue a job that will earn me more money, etc. My response is that I'm perfectly content the way I am, and very happy, and see no need to change it. I'm as free as a bird and can do and go where I want. I have people in my life to give me tremendous value. However, I beat to my own drum. What is so hard for people to comprehend about that? I'm an odd duck, but I ask that people leave me be and love me as I am...

8 Comments

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Ex-rebel

Aug 5, 2015 at 6:52am

So you don't let yourself be in love because it's more important for you to live outside of society's norms. Good job. I used to be like that. Now I realize how lonely it is (by definition) to be a trailblazer. But I can't have it any other way because those of the "norm" don't understand my soul.

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i think

Aug 5, 2015 at 8:44am

you sound fabulous. Don't conform. You'll find someone that has their own drum (it may not match yours) but they will understand what it's like to beat to a different drum, and respect your different drum.

There are most definitely women out there to whom this sounds great (I'm one of them)

Just make sure you are always upfront about not wanting the kids/picket fence thing.

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Female version of you

Aug 5, 2015 at 9:34am

Pretty sure I'd date you in a heartbeat.

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Steller's Jay

Aug 5, 2015 at 9:48am

He passes on love because his nonromantic friendships, and his life work, are more important to him than being in a relationship with someone who doesn't care about those things and would destroy them. Good for him.

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Good for you!

Aug 5, 2015 at 12:07pm

I feel pretty much the same way. I am female. I have pretty much done my own thing all my life and one of the clues to making it work is not caring what other people think. Everyone seems to want to fit everyone else into a box they can understand and relate to and are confused by those who choose to live outside the box. So stand tall, sounds like you are doing that and I applaud you for being true to yourself. The world is full of sheep just following the tail of the sheep in front, never looking to the left or right to see what alternatives there might be. It is refreshing to read what you have said and I hope you continue to live according to your own rules. :)

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anon

Aug 5, 2015 at 1:25pm

I am an artist but event to me this poster sounds like a self-congratulatory prick.

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bs

Aug 5, 2015 at 10:33pm

I appreciate what you are saying about being loved for who you are and your decisions. Personally I find it a supreme challenge to not want the physical aspect of connection. I know random sex is available for people who are comfortable with that. But to be cuddled and caressed by someone who truly loves you and contributes to a healthy relationship is something I miss terribly. I have great friends but I miss and crave the physical connection of an intimate, trusted partner.

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Bertha

Aug 9, 2015 at 10:58am

Why can't you drive a car?

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