Every open relationship I've known of has involved one selfish and self-deluding person, and one deeply unhappy person, followed some time later by an explosion. Rinse, lather, repeat. It might be that 5 or 10% of people are build for it, but they're rarely living with another of their kind.

It's still a fringe thing to do. For now.

Too many believe in "sanctity of marriage". Google "sanctimonious" to see what I think of that. People are different, and so are their libidos. Rare is a partner that can keep up with mine, for example. More common is one that is possessive, territorial, jealous, and afraid of anything outside the socially accepted norm.

Since hormonal levels rarely match up (especially over decades of life and marriage), breakups are very common, divorce is very normal, and bitterness and resentment prevail.

If your marriage is truly the flexible, loving, and rare relationship that will stand the test of time and change, then something may be negotiated. Poly versus open would be more workable, and less high-risk. Also, would be wise to get an IUD, because of very low failure rates.

If you absolutely must have high quantity and constant variety, perhaps you're not as ready to settle down as you thought. Consider the "nice to have" versus the "refuse to do without". It can make all the difference between a successfully negotiated arrangement and a breakup.

@geeknomad ... "would be wise to get an IUD, because of very low failure rates."

I think a full body condom would be more like it

@Anonymous

Condoms have a higher failure rate. Statistical fact.

Full-body IUD not on the market...Maybe you can try a Kickstarter campaign?

You can be open and still be socially monogamous. Normal is overrated. Do what makes you happy.

I used to think open marriages/relationships were for unhappy people. But I know of two couples who are making it work. There are rules and as long as the rules are followed, no one gets hurt. It's not for me, but there are many people that it works for.

Read too much Savage Love

No such thing as open marriage, the idea of marriage was and is monogamy. That's why when you did your ritual you said all those beautiful words about love, loyalty, in sickness and health, etc. if you want sex with others, you got married to your husband for wrong reasons.
Quit bsing yourself and divorce him. He deserves better than a philandering wife disguised as his open minded best friend. And humanity deserves better than serial philanderers devaluing marriage.

Just so sick of this. Everyone and my dog wants to be an effing Caligula or Louis the Sun. Eff this, so much for the ideals of true love, care, respect, passion. It's all about effing around now and calling it an open marriage. Love is sex, sex is love, or so it's supposed to be unless you're drunk as a skunk and picked up the first stranger in a bar.
Why don't you call your marriage what it really is? A mutually beneficial financial arrangement. Stop the bs, you want to eff around, go get a divorce.
Humanity owes nothing to calculating, selfish, shallow and bored people who want to devalue marriage just because they can't afford a mortgage alone, but want to fuck around. Or whatever else. I'm done, had enough of reading cheap shots like this, disguised under the pretences of new normal. It's not about normal. It's about love, respect, dignity and integrity. Sadly, pathetic little souls are replacing them with shiny things, conveniences and material comforts. Then calling it an open marriage. Big effing BS!

"Ethical slut" & "more than two". Two great books to help you start exploring!