What's wrong with me?

I have become a pathetic individual. I used to scoff at anyone who held onto unrequited love when there were obvious signs that the object of their desires would never return their feelings. "Don't they have any pride or self-respect?" I'd think to myself. "How can they continue to follow that person around like a lovesick puppy?" Well, now the tables have turned. I can't let go of my infatuation with someone who I not only haven't seen in a long time, but who also has shown pretty clear signs of ignoring me and not being interested in getting back in touch. I know all this, yet I continue to live in delusion that there'd still be a chance someday. Every now and then, I'll have this striking moment of clarity where my brain tells me "what the hell are you wasting your time thinking about this person for? They obviously have no interest in you." But then I'll go right back to daydreaming about them. I think it's because I haven't found anyone else that has caught my interest since. I also am not enjoying where I am in life right now. I guess thinking about this person is a nice escape when my reality is a disappointment. I suppose I don't want to let go of the fantasy, because if I do, what will I have left? Yep, past me would definitely be rolling their eyes at this post. Can't believe I've become this way.

14 Comments

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You deserve it

Aug 28, 2015 at 1:27pm

imo. Its important for people to know how it feels.

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dreaming is hope

Aug 28, 2015 at 1:50pm

It is good to dream. It is wonderful to hope. I hope you act on your feelings instead of pushing them down. Take a chance on love.

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Did I write this?

Aug 28, 2015 at 2:09pm

I swear I thought this was a post I wrote some time ago but they never published! You're not the only one that has a love-hate relationship with unrequited love. I am in the same boat. He needed some time but left the door open for what might be in the future. I haven't waited but I still find myself thinking that I hope the future comes soon!

It's when the unrequited love becomes painful and starts to feel like actual rejection that you have to shake it off and say, "enough is enough." Until then, enjoy it for what it is. A nice escape from reality!

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Wow thanks!

Aug 28, 2015 at 3:00pm

Hey, thanks for your post. I was feeling, exactly, the same. So it's at least nice to know someone's feeling the same thing. Thanks for making my day, I could really have used it :).

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You're Right

Aug 28, 2015 at 3:35pm

Not to tell this person. It's creepy being on the receiving end of someone's fantasy. It's especially creepy when months or even years go by and they see me somewhere and say something like "Remember me?!" I then shrug and walk away, or if it's persistent, I'll tell them exactly what I think of them and why. If they start with me again, I'm going to report them as stalking me.

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Hope is F***G

Aug 28, 2015 at 7:09pm

With your mind lady! Hope inevitably leads to dispair. Unless you are or want to be a machochist, and live unhealthy life, hope for a good life but never hope for someone.

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You know...

Aug 28, 2015 at 9:56pm

Just because we live in the age of the internet where everyone is blocking each other or Facebook stalking each other doesn't mean that we can't use the simple power of an e-mail, a basic little letter, to tell the person how we feel. Even if they don't seem interested in you doesn't mean that they're not worth trying. Direct communication is always superior to hiding behind a shoji screen. I am in this position and the girl thinks that I'm the one who doesn't love her -- which is as far away from the truth as possible. If I knew she loved me back despite my situation, I'd be head over heals.

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randomviolet

Aug 28, 2015 at 10:36pm

Same boat. And what bothers me more is I have no idea what I see in them. Maybe if they showed me interest I wouldn't look twice.

Black heart.

Aug 28, 2015 at 11:36pm

I'm in the same boat. It's been just over a year that I've been carrying a torch for this person. I make myself sick and often chastise myself for pouring so much energy into something that is obviously never going to materialize. The thing is, I am blind to any tangible suitor that crosses my path, nobody compares! I also want to remain single, lest he finally comes to his senses.

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J.non

Aug 28, 2015 at 11:54pm

I recently had the same thing happen where up until this experience I thought that I could easily walk away from unrequited love. I met someone who truly made me feel pathetic and vulnerable but elated...then, I realized that I'm just human. We're human, that's the beauty of being able to experience the ugly and the beauty of our feelings. Onwards

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