is not always greener on the other side.

"long time by any standards"? Nope. A long time means different things at different times. 30 years is a long time when you're 50. Two years, maybe not so long. Six months when you are 16 is different from six months at 30.

If you are "always" thinking of someone else - who you don't even seem to be in contact with from what you've written, so it sounds like you're building a fantasy around someone you don't even actually know - sounds like you've got a case of the grass is greener. If you can't be fully with your current partner because you are ALWAYS thinking of someone else, you're being duplicitous. That sucks for your partner.

Try reading "Mating in Captivity". It's an excellent book about reconciling domesticity and eroticism. In it, the author says that, to keep things hot, it's good to keep the possibility of somebody else alive. In other words, don't feel badly about fantasizing. And don't fool yourself into thinking that fantasizing means that the next logical step is breaking up with your partner.

I think you should talk to this other person or get in touch with them somehow to check what they feel about you in return.

It sounds like you're with your partner only because she provides you with comfort and security. I guess I'm lucky because when I'm with someone I never think of being with someone else. I might reminisce about a past ex or entertain a little crush on someone new once in a while but it's not anything serious. I guess it's because I'm with someone because I love them, not because I don't want to be alone.

I don't know if it's normal. It's normal that the feelings fade over time if you don't make efforts in your relationship, and it's normal to be attracted to other people. However, in my experience, attraction doesn't automatically translate into a longing to be with someone else... unless you nurture it. If you spend a lot of time with a person that you know you're attracted to, don't be surprised that you start developing feelings for them. You are putting yourself at risk of (physical or at least emotional) cheating.

If you're ready to commit to your partner, then go no contact with this new lady. If you want to pursue the new lady, then end it with your partner. You cannot have both unless you ask your partner for an open/poly/other relationship. If you cheat, then you would totally deserve any fallout from your actions and won't get any sympathy.

I'm also in a LTR but think of others.want to play!

A few ways to look at this (please forgive me as these are all assumptions on my part)

... this relationship you are in, seems like a long time... yet no ring or other conversations about your future together??

Seems like you may have a few issues to flush out yourself???

Are you 100% sure this other person would treat you the way you are "assuming"??

I totally agree with Anonymous. Fantasize all you want, and try something to spice up your current relationship, but don't throw it away for some fantasy. Things on the other side of the fence are never, ever what we think they are. Sure, the other could be better, but it also could be much, *much* worse.
If I may, I suggest evaluating your behavior in your current relationship, and seeing if you can put more into it. I suspect if you do put more in, it will get more fulfilling.

I'm always thinking about a guy who's attached. I know given the chance, we'd have a lot of fun together but I would never do anything about it. Some of the things I find so attractive about him is he's the type of guy who wouldn't cheat because he is has a good heart, would never hurt his partner and lives a golden life. Of course he's attractive! He's a beautiful man with a beautiful life but would be instantly unattractive if he were to take all that for granted.
So when I think about him, I'm not just thinking what you think. I'm also thinking about how happy I'd be to find someone similar for myself and hoping he is as happy as he seems.

interesting and probably really apt advice. I was with someone for 14 years (we split up mutually), and he was a very attractive and desirable man. He told me once that he loved just knowing that he "could" and that was enough to never actually do it. I, similarly, would every now and then develop a big crush on someone. I never,ever, did anything about it (and I was in a situation where I could have) but having that crush was fun, and helped me to feel that there were other possibilities should I choose. I think psychologically that somehow makes it easier to stay faithful, because you know you could choose not to be. This sounds weird when I type it out,but anyway, my point is I get it.

to the OP: I think that depending on how much real estate this person is taking up in your mind, it might, as anonymous says, be ok. But if you really can't stop thinking about them you might want to re-assess your current relationship. OFten we develop big crushes when we are not feeling satisfied. Often those needs that need to be satisfied can be, fairly easily.

Good luck!

ps-I definitely DON"T suggest contacting the person like someone else said, or testing the waters so to speak. That's a recipe for disaster. And you should leave your relationship for the right reasons if you are going to leave it, not for "something better".