I'm the female version of you.

I am too. We should start a club.

Personally, you sound like an ideal lover. I also can't do casual relationships yet I don't want to be in a suffocating commitment. I want a lasting relation with my own space, plenty of time for my own pursuits, and a fair measure of mind-bending sex. However, I am rather feline, so there's that.

I think I dated someone like you - I'm not altogether sure if he was indeed like this but I had hoped. We weren't together long enough to fully suss out our relationship style(s). Too bad because he rocked my world.

I came here to write that exact same thing. OP, you sound like my spirit animal.

I wish I could find someone like you who doesn't find my way of thinking weird. I would date you in a heartbeat.

...should be group therapy. It looks like you're all held hostage by bad experiences/ traumas and a way of living that prevents you from not only the joys of connecting intimately with others, but also the personal growth that comes from working through the associated challenges . Commitment... on whatever level...is ironically liberating because it allows you to put aside your irrational fears. The paralyzed state you describe must be lonely and unfulfilling. Rather than dating each other and repeating the cycle, maybe it's time to put some effort into getting to the bottom of your ways?

all these posters are saying what a great person to date you must be, to offer personal freedom and not be interested in casual sex. what i hear is that you don't like to commit, don't like it when your uncommitted people have casual sex, don't like to set plans with people or have relationships with them, where small expectations, like honesty, might affect you and your independence. a relationship is not out to get your independence, it's an adult choice that encourages your independence and respects the other persons as well, you still do things independently, but you can tell someone about them. Iv'e just seen so many people say one thing, and interpret it as something else, making them liars, and when they're lies get caught or called out, they say they're independence is being stepped on.it's to bad everyone in your life wants to smash on your independence and not just hang out with you op, you're such a delicate flower in a block of concrete. so fucking special.

I'm part cat, at least I think. Plus I want a relationship filled with good communication and authentic emotion, with mutual respect for privacy and space. I enjoy my moments of solitude and feel I need them while at the same time desiring a beautiful connection. I want to exist as two individuals in a wonderful partnership who complement each other, not just as one entity so to speak. Casual relationships are not for me either.

You sound very similar to me. And from the comments, we're all not alone in this. Maybe some of us will find each other one day... Lol. You might not be the ideal lover by "typical" standards, but typical sucks anyway. There definitely is someone out there for you. :)

Two introverts can potentially make this sort of relationship work well.

Especially true with a morning person and a night owl. That way, each gets alone time just about every day. Absent that, large, divided, sound-isolated living spaces really help (multiple floors are best).

One can even have dogs, provided they're sufficiently catlike (Basenjis and Ridgebacks come immediately to mind). Cats are generally nocturnal and can disturb one's sleep cycle; suboptimal because rest is vitally important to an introvert.

Hope you all find some suitable company, of whatever species.

I responded to the OP stating my shared way of being. Your assumptions of me/us (based on one comment) are astounding. You do realize people can chose to have atypical relationships that are not in reaction to trauma or immaturity? Do you also realize that atypical partners do not necessarily leave trail of damaged folk in their wake?

So in your eyes, anyone who doesn't conform to the conventional type of relationship that society tells you to automatically has some mental issue or past trauma?

How about, not everyone fits into the same cookie-cutter mold? Do you really think every person on the planet is suited to the exact same type of lifestyle/situation?

Some people need more space and independence than others. And even though someone may not be the type to want commitment to a long term relationship right off the bat, doesn't mean they can't commit or have meaningful relationships.

Everyone is different, and some people like to do things differently than you. As long as they are upfront about who they are and what they want with their partner, I don't see how this is a problem, and I'm not really sure why it should affect or bother you.

Maybe try opening your mind up a little, and not judging people just because they choose to live their life differently than yours.