I come from a strange situation. I was an unplanned baby and my parents really didn't know each other or like each other. But they "tried" I was ignored most of my childhood, alone and verbally abused. I think being neglected was the worst. As I hit puberty I became a very bad person. I was a bully, a racist, I slept around and played a lot of games with peoples hearts. I didn't know i was doing this at the time. I was just unhappy and unloved and felt i had to be hard to get by. This behaviour continued in milder and different forms for most of my life. I had some very good times and very bad. I was kind of happy, but always felt very alone even in long term relationships. which i ended up having a few of over my 20's and 30's. Its not been until now. in my late 30's that I actually feel i can just about let go of the past. I now feel like I really know myself and that I am happy to have had so many bad experiences a this has given my so much compassion and i feel like I know how good i have it now. Things and vacuous experiences mean nothing to me. I know that I have been a good person inside for many years now and have spent so much time unhappy and ungrateful when so many people in this world have it much worse. The strange thing here is at almost 40 i am so content with life. I have the most wonderful partner I could ever have dreamed of. work with people who believe in me now and not belittle and abuse me. i've used my survival skills that i learned from living on the street, travelling and having a bad group of friends and employers to now have this power, positive power and confidence to get me ahead in life. I still hold some bitterness inside, (very deep inside) that i know no real family support or friends from the past but thats down to my choices. Now after all of this heartache i feel that things are looking up. I know they won't always be this way but my struggle has given me a power that others who have had it easy will never have. I ready a lot here about people who are being emotionally hurt by someone and it's not right, but YOU have to remove yourself from these peoples lives. Relatives, employers, friends. THEY WILL BRING YOU DOWN. It's a hard step to take but in the end you WILL be happier and you will get over the loss of the relationship. I am living proof, when you are happy, positive and confedent that will come back to you. Do it today!