Solo, So Low

I just 'celebrated' my birthday completely alone, it was the saddest sushi dinner I've ever had. I've tried to meet people, reach out, but find I'm always kept at arms length. I don't understand why. I've been told I'm a great person, it just doesn't seem to get me anywhere regardless of how much I give. I feel so unloved and unwanted, whenI just want someone to talk to. It is clear to anyone who at least kinda knows me that I have nothing but love to give. Please, please help me.

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I feel you but it's okay

Feb 11, 2016 at 7:37pm

I recently just celebrated my birthday alone as well. I seriously considered committing suicide that day. Lots of people celebrate their birthdays alone and as shitty as it seems its honestly just another day. Don't let your loneliness overcome you. Treat yourself to something nice whether you can afford it or not listen to your favourite music, relax, do whatever you want. Just remember you decide on your own happiness. Life is a beautiful thing. Don't waste your valuable energy on negative emotions.

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Happy Birthday

Feb 11, 2016 at 7:39pm

Sorry you are feeling alone. Everyone needs company and affection. It can be challenging living in a city where you do not have a network of friends or family. I too was new to the city the first couple of years were challenging to meet people. However that has changed. My advice....volunteer, go to community events, go for a massage, take some fun classes, find a local coffee shop that gets to know you by name. Hang in there. Do you like Dogs? There are some great communities around Vancouver. Kitsilano on a recent visit to a book store event I met all kinds of lovely people that just introduced themselves.

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TCG

Feb 11, 2016 at 9:04pm

Do a program at The Haven on Gabriola. Connected with so many great people through my time there and built lasting authentic friendships.

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TCG

Feb 11, 2016 at 9:06pm

And a belated Happy Birthday to you! I hope this year is your very best yet, and helps transform your life for the better :)

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tough break

Feb 11, 2016 at 9:13pm

If I could, I'd take you out for a drink tonight. Just for the hell of it. I'm sure you'd have some good stories to tell.

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Happy birthday friend

Feb 11, 2016 at 10:47pm

On August 14th I too went for sushi alone for my birthday and I know exactly how you feel. Its not you, its this city. Keep your chin up, you are a valuable and precious person.

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Happy Belated Birthday

Feb 12, 2016 at 8:30am

I spent my 50th birthday alone, and it wasn't pleasant.

To top it off, what I thought was my best friend in the world, ever, and who I was madly in love with, wouldn't even join me for a meal.

Couldn't even make time to take the dog for a walk with me.

Even my parents had company that day and couldn't spend much time talking.

I found out who my real friends were that day. Or rather, that I didn't have any.

I hope you have lots of happy future birthdays too.

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me too

Feb 12, 2016 at 12:38pm

i went out alone on birthday. i made the mistake of mentioning it and then they put sparklers in not only my main but brought a sparkler laden comp desert while i was trying to pay my bill and leave. it made me want to cry for being noticed as the loser out on their own for their birthday without someone special.

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Augusta

Feb 14, 2016 at 5:10pm

Happy belated birthday! Don't give up. A big city can seem like a desert island. Try to think of ways you can connect with other people through some activity. How about volunteering? Or learning a skill? Or joining a book club? The first step can be very hard, especially when you are feeling down. But remember, that first step is just a brief moment. It gets easier. Whatever you choose, just make sure it is something you feel connected to, something that piques your interest. Then just go for it, even if you don't want to do it at first. You are not alone feeling this way. There are many of us in the same boat and we all have to make a big effort to reach out to others. It really is worth it. Just take the first step and life will take over from there. Good luck and wishing you all the best.

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