I have met your type. Try not to worry too much - you're going to stay exactly the way you are, until the day you decide to change. Until then, you're staying the way you are.

Meanwhile, pray to your Guardian Angel.

Yet, I wouldn't say I made so many dumb choices. All young people make mistakes figuring shit out. Have worked hard to achieve somethings but I totally feel like I am being punished right now.
Like god taking his heel and digging me into the dirt kinda punished and its almost breaking me.

Did you say dumb? I went through life and death before I was 25 years old. I was a criminal and an addict when I was young.I was in jail many times , OD'ed and had to have my heart restarted to have a second life.It took me another 10 to quit that shit.I was a slow learner.I don't know if luck had anything to do with getting me past the dark pain.So I would say,hang in there.

Obviously I don't know the exact circumstances you talk of, but life has a "chance" element to it that can leave any of us reeling at the drop of a hat. In other words, you're not alone in this.

Also, Time has a way of solving problems. People get bored easily, so, unless you owe money to loansharks(they are particularly great at persistence), chances are by this time next month, you will feel over most of today's angst.

You sound like a very nice person. A very humane human being. For this reason alone, you're slightly ahead of the rest of us.