Relationships games...

posted April 26th, 2016 at 2:42 PM

I get SO upset when people blame others for "breaking their hearts". In my opinion it is impossible for someone to "break your heart" without you somehow letting them. Every time someone tells me that their significant other has broken their heart and we analyze their situation, there is ALWAYS red-screaming flags all over the relationship. You can tell from the moment you meet someone if they are as much into you, as you are into them. If they start acting up, or not answering their phones, or being cold, or playing games, is because something is going on...and that something, whatever it maybe be, usually comes down to one thing - a lack of commitment. You can't blame someone for not wanting to commit to you, but you CAN control the way the relationships plays out. He/she will only treat you the way you allow them to. Someone can't play games in a relationship on their own...it is physically impossible, unless of course the relationship was with themselves, but that is a topic for another day. If they are playing games with you, is because you are allowing them to by participating in the type of interaction they offer. If you cut them loose, the game will be over, because they will have no one to play with...if you choose to keep playing, even though you can tell by the persons's action that they are not as invested in you as you are in them, then that is not the other person's fault - It is your own! You might say that sometimes people say things that could confuse you and make their intentions with you unclear, however their actions will clarify it for you! Actions are a perfectly clear reflection of how the person feels, and more importantly, how they feel about YOU!

11 Comments

Really....

Apr 26, 2016 at 7:41pm

What a pile of condescending crap.

camel

Apr 26, 2016 at 7:52pm

thank you OP! why should we accept responsibility for treating people badly? It's their fault for caring when we use them. Keep moving forward!

Single

Apr 26, 2016 at 9:02pm

My guess is that you have never been in a relationship. Granted expecting someone to change who they are is looking for trouble. If they do not want the same things....move on. .Passion makes your 20/20 vision fuzzy. Please do not insult the world with " you allowed it to happen", give our female race some credit and not revert back to the dinosaur age. No ones perfect. There are two sides to a situation. Many people send out conflicting messages or string people along. Things change. No one starts out a relationship/marriage expecting to be hurt!!!

On

Apr 26, 2016 at 9:27pm

point.

Michael stringer 444@gmail.com

Apr 27, 2016 at 3:22am

Think of the game this way- I never loved or knew the meaning of the word before l met you in the full house.As long ago as that was it is nothing beyond the realm of time and sense

Goodguy

Apr 27, 2016 at 7:30am

Betrayal shatters the heart. If someone you love is sneaking around behind your back and is involved with another, there is no worse feeling when the truth hits you. Worst part is, we often blame ourselves for their behavior and treachery. Hope it never happens to you OP

Oh...

Apr 27, 2016 at 8:17am

It's funny, you could apply the exact same argument to broken bones or slavery. If you allow yourself to become enslaved, or allow someone to break your femur, it's obviously because you didn't man up and defend yourself properly! People have no more limitless capacity over their "hearts" than they do over the tensile strength of their bones.

You can't always tell

Apr 27, 2016 at 9:20am

from the moment you meet someone, as you say, how it will go. Relationships progress and sometimes people aren't honest or people change their mind once they get to know each other. Sometimes this takes awhile.

However, I am someone that let things go on way too long once red flags were in place and I will be sure to be more careful in the future.

@OP

Apr 27, 2016 at 9:32am

I couldn't agree with you more. The state of dating and relationships is atrocious and people behave badly because they are allowed to have experienced little consequence in their lives (that goes for both men and women). If we all have our eyes and ears open, deal with our issues and have a healthy level of self-esteem, we wouldn't end up sitting there crying our eyes out with a broken heart or chasing around losers trying to get them to love us, because at the first sign of nonsense we would opt out of a situation. This is by no means an excuse for hideous behaviour and stringing someone along, but we can control our owns hearts by reading the red flags early on and saying peace out.

Anonymous

Apr 27, 2016 at 9:57am

thank you. I have thought much of the same thing. Relationships are most often a tangled mess and rarely- dare I say never?- go smoothy, start to finish. If only it weren't for the hormones that caused desire that led to trying to make something happen where there might be nothing. Blindness and hope and trying to catch someone who doesn't know what they want, making things drag on that eventually lead to the inevitable end.