Well said OP. I'm dealing with the same thing. I have no idea how to proceed. Hopefully someone has something useful to share for us both, I can only echo your sentiment.

when i'm down like this, i just set up the webcam and expose myself to strangers. always makes me feel better. keep moving forward!

Basing your self worth and happiness on the opinions of others is a fruitless pursuit. You just need to be ok with you,love yourself regardless of anyone and take a position to give others thoughts and judgments of you no attention. Easier said than done, though.

It's OK to feel hurt - just don't wallow in it. Focus on your first point and make your own happiness. Then someone special will come along and the feeling WILL be mutual. That's what people tell me.

definitely agree with the find happiness in yourself comments above- if this is a common problem for you is it possible that you're being drawn to people who can't/won't give you what you need? if so, you may need to work on developing your self worth so that you can learn to only spend your energy on those who treat you how you want to be treated.

if that's not the case, the only other thing I'd add as a different angle is: have you heard of the concept of love languages? the basic premise is that there are a handful of different ways that love is generally expressed, and what displaying love means to one person won't necessarily be the same thing as for another person.

So, for example, one person might show love by spending quality time with other people while their friend/family member/SO might show love through gifts. If your ways of showing affection don't match with someone else's it, you may both feel like you're putting in effort/love to the relationship while the other isn't (because you're not getting back what you put out), leaving you both feeling unfulfilled or used. The solution is to become aware of how other people show their care for you and learn to accept that as the demonstration of care that you want, instead of only looking for other people to reciprocate how you show them you care (so don't look for someone to give you gifts just because that's how you show others you care, because they might show they care through words).

In other words, is it possible that the people who are special to you are actually indicating to you that they care but that you're not recognizing it or appreciating their attempts?

You are unfortunately going to spend a lot of unnecessary energy trying to please people in your life. What's important to realize is that you are worthy of love. You are not a doormat to be treated carelessly. You have a heart that beats and lungs that fill with air. You are real, you are not just a novelty to be glanced at and turned away. The thing is, you must believe that you are not a waste of space because you above all others deserve unconditional love and self compassion is where it starts. You family may treat you poorly and I have found from personal experience that the best thing to do at this point is cut toxic people from your life. You possibly feel obligated to fill the needs of other but you don't owe anyone anything. The way others judge you is their own choice and usually the reason we are judged harshly by some is because they are dissatisfied with the decisions they've made in life and they take it out on others. They like to try and mask what they've done wrong by putting it onto somebody else. That's not your fault and the only thing you can do is control your reaction. That part is up to you 100%. React negatively and it feeds into the world around you. React positively with genuine emotion you will be judged regardless but it's important to stay true to yourself. At the end of the day when you're lying in bed are you content that you made the conscious effort to do all that you could to make yourself happy? Did you get that haircut you wanted that made your heart flutter when you saw the picture but then you frowned because you knew others wouldn't approve? Did you do everything in your power to take a stand and go against the grain? Do yourself a favor my friend and stop living for others. You will save yourself many years of pain and regret. Again, you are worthy. You are not "nothing". I would wish you good luck but I don't believe you need it. Ask yourself one question when you are stuck with a decision... What would someone who loves them self do? I think you know the answer.