I never ask out anyone in the service industry

posted August 22nd, 2016 at 4:20 PM

Not because I'm a snob, but because people in these positions (e.g., servers, baristas, receptionists, clerks, etc.) are paid to be nice to their customers. Sometimes, it's easy to mistake polite and friendly conversation for genuine interest, and I imagine having customers constantly hit on you can be awkward and even frustrating when you're just trying to do your job well. Basically, I wait until a service person asks me out before I reciprocate. I'm sure I've missed out on opportunities because of my rule, but I think it's the better of the two options. What do the rest of you think?

11 Comments

It's awkward all around

Aug 22, 2016 at 5:33pm

The way I see it, either party asking the other out puts the customer / CSW relationship at risk of severe awkwardness. Not that it can't be done, but the signals need to be pretty damn crystal clear on both sides before crossing into ask-out territory.

I thunk it's okay to ask if they

Aug 22, 2016 at 8:22pm

Have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Then you can judge their reaction to that question to see if they might seem interested.

Ask them out!

Aug 22, 2016 at 8:27pm

When I worked in the service industry I was flattered if someone asked me out in a genuine and tactful way. It depends on how you ask and if you would feel akward seeing them again if they rejected you. People in this city need to be more outgoing and friendly without getting paid to do so. Go for it!

Did my wife ask you out?

Aug 22, 2016 at 9:06pm

Spears fly she spent the 35 yearsof our relationship saying yes to guys hitting in her and doubtless she made the first move often.... Do you dress like you have money? .... Somewhat ugly?

She didn't care much for anything but cash, it didn't matter what you look like.....

Some people are fucking GROSS

@did my wife....

Aug 22, 2016 at 10:06pm

For everyone's sake dude, please hire a therapist so you can download your vile thoughts about your ex wife to them and not everyone else. We're tired of hearing about it. Sigh......

Good on you

Aug 23, 2016 at 6:43am

I think it's a good policy you have. When I worked in the service industry I was horrified by how many men thought that it was okay to say inappropriate things to me, take my picture, constantly hound me to go out. It's not cool to harass someone ever but when they are working and can't get away from you it's even worse.

Thank you O.P.

Aug 23, 2016 at 8:16am

As someone who works in the service industry, I thank you! It is quite awkward when a customer tries to pick me up, and I would never, ever ask out any customer, as that is just downright unprofessional. Thank you OP, for having good sense.

My cousin

Aug 23, 2016 at 9:10am

asked out his waitress. Now they have been happily married 30 yrs. There has to be a variety of ways to meet people.

You're right

Aug 23, 2016 at 5:46pm

I am a server at a bar and a lot of guys say gross shit or try and "seduce" me with alcohol. It's horrible and I'd rather make the first move. In fact, I did become friends with a customer and we hooked up after a while and we've been together for over a year now.

Baebista

Aug 23, 2016 at 6:53pm

I like that rule because I get tired of being called cute or asked suggestive questions. It makes me feel like it's okay to be friendly and I'm not sending out the wrong signals.