Bad company

I'm starting to wonder why a friend of mine keeps asking me to hang out. I am genuinely excited to see her and when we meet, and it's all happy for about 5-10 minutes ,but then things go down hill after that. She stops talking and stays glued to her phone. After many failed attempts at initiating a conversation, she texts other people on her phone while we are having dinner or out for drinks. I'm starting to question if I'm boring to her, and if so, then why keep insisting we go out?

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Anonymous

Oct 25, 2016 at 3:35am

Why? Because she's obviously a moron.

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therobotmonster

Oct 25, 2016 at 5:58am

She probably just needs a dopamine hit, and the only way for her to get that is newness and novelty. Our use of the internet is training our brains to need constant hits of stimulation. My guess is this isn't personal or related to you in any way, it is more to do with her neurochemistry. Be careful with judging her though, because if you are self-aware and honest you will probably see the same pattern in yourself. How many times a day do you check your phone or email? We all do it, but we have different baseline levels and it sounds like she needs the hit more frequently than you.

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Don't allow people to use you

Oct 25, 2016 at 6:06am

It is RUDE for someone to ignore you while playing on their phone. Just straight up tell them this, if it happens again when you hang out. I tell people this sometimes and they looked embarrassed. I can't believe people think this is OK when spending time with another human being.

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I dunno

Oct 25, 2016 at 6:13am

I see that quite often when I am out in a pub or restaurant, people sitting around together with their heads down playing with there glowing rectangles. It is like they are more interested in talking to people that they are not with than the people they are with. Go figure.

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Just ask her

Oct 25, 2016 at 10:50am

And tell her to leave her phone at home next time she wants to hang out.

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Anonymous

Oct 25, 2016 at 2:40pm

Ask her if she is in a rush to be somewhere else or if she planned something right after your get together. If she says yes, then ask her not to double book. If she says no, ask her to put away her phone because she is being rude. If it keeps happening, stop meeting up with her.

9 6Rating: +3

Solenoid

Oct 25, 2016 at 4:36pm

I had a friend like that. My theory is this: They're secretly kind of antisocial but need to go places with people so they can post pics on fb like they have such a fun life and people can see them out socializing and they can pretend their life isn't empty. Also I think she really wanted to go out to meet a man, and I was basically an accessory. Needless to say I stopped making time for her years ago.

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uh, wierd

Oct 25, 2016 at 5:23pm

do they have anxiety?

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screen addicted probably

Oct 27, 2016 at 1:44am

…it is not you…just her addiction. If you care a little for her …then let her know that being in the present is what you value and how it makes you feel when she is constantly looking at her screen. (She probably doesn't even realize what she is doing…or thinks that is normal.)

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