I just had my cat euthanized

posted April 28th, 2017 at 6:05 AM

I came back home from vacation to a very sick cat. She had lost some weight over recent months but I thought it was because I had stopped giving her this "cat milk" snack that she loved but was making her vomit. She did stop vomiting after so I thought that all was fine. She was still acting like herself when I left. Only nine days later, I came home and took her to the vet immediately. She had deteriorated to an alarming point and my partner said she would just hide in the other room and wasn't eating. We thought she was upset that I had left cause she would keep to herself more when I was away. Turns out she has cancer in multiple organs, and I had to make the decision to put her down. I got home on Monday and just put her down yesterday (Thursday). She was not herself at all by the time I got home, and deteriorated so rapidly and to such an incredibly poor state. The vet came to my home and administered the drugs. After she lost consciousness, she vomited and urinated on herself and her heart slowly stopped beating. I asked the vet for some time with her and I cleaned her as best as I could and put her on a fresh towel so I could comb her and touch her for the last time. It was so hard to handle her limp soulless body, but it was my final act of love and I wanted her to leave in a dignified state. I am so shocked and saddened, and feeling guilty that I didn't notice the changes earlier and take her to the vet. I feel like I let my sweet girl down and now she is gone forever. I live with my fiancé but am a bit of a loner in terms of friends. My cat played a huge role in my life and was there for me over the past few years when I heavily grieved the loss of my mother. She came and sat next to me for countless nights when I sobbed. It feels as if some people do not recognize the loss of a cat like the loss of a dog, but my cat was so much a part of my daily life. A source of such sweetness and comfort, a loyal companion that would stick right to me. My sweet sweet girl, I love you forever and you will always have the most special place in my heart. One day mama will see you again and give you all of the headscratches, rubs and combs I can possibly give to you. For now, I will pass that task onto my own mom who once looked after you and will love to see you again... I will miss you dearly until then my love...

19 Comments

I am crying

Apr 28, 2017 at 11:46am

Your confession brought tears to my eyes. I am so sorry for your loss.

Tyler

Apr 28, 2017 at 11:49am

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend.

boomshanker

Apr 28, 2017 at 11:52am

I'm so very sorry for your loss. We lost our little girl of 20 years last Christmas and I grieve every day. My heart goes out to you.

hugs

Apr 28, 2017 at 12:24pm

I am so sorry to hear this, and sending you big hugs. I lost my dog two years ago, and it was honestly the most heart-wrenching thing that I have ever gone through. Many people, I could tell, could not understand because it was "just a dog". Love is love, connections are connections, and no one should be judging that it's lesser because of what type of animal it is (as you express with feeling that some cant' understand the loss of a cat vs. a dog). Anyone who reads this could not help but be moved, and it will help them understand more. I hope writing this helped you move on. I was given a beautiful brochure called "the moment after: surviving pet loss". You should try to find it-i carried it everywhere with me for months.

:(

Apr 28, 2017 at 2:33pm

poor kitty

i feel the same as the others

Apr 28, 2017 at 3:15pm

but I would also like to take the opportunity to mention (not to you OP, but to the type of people who might be reading this who think vets are just greedy & not necessary) - Take your furry/feathered loved ones to the vet at least once a year just to make sure that everything is alright, and you will have them for a long time.

I have tears

Apr 28, 2017 at 4:35pm

in my eyes too. Your words are so lovely and I completely understand. Those who have never owned and loved a cat will never understand the connection and impact they have on our home lives behind closed doors. Mine helped me through tough times too and I would tell her my secrets through the tears, I can still hear her purring to this day. May your lovely girl rest in peace now.

APerson

Apr 28, 2017 at 5:32pm

My heart is sad. I am teary. I am so sorry for your loss. I know firsthand how tough it is to lose a cat and I also know what it's like to not see the signs. Don't be too hard on yourself, we can't know how to recognize what we've never before experienced. Also severe illness or potential death isn't exactly the conclusion anyone ever wants to jump to. I'm glad you got to spend some final moments with her, I'm sure she was happy to have you there, the same way you appreciated her being there for you in your times of need. Cats (animals in general) are so great at that. You gave her a life filled with love up until the very last moment and that's something to be happy about. Sorry for what you're going through. Hugs.

I'm sorry

Apr 28, 2017 at 5:40pm

I'm a cat owner too, and this was a tough but beautiful confession to read. I hope you're doing ok and getting lots of support for your loss. It's so hard with pets - they're supposed to be a relatively easy loss to bear, but I can't understand how you're supposed to share every day with a creature but feel unchanged when they pass.

I don't know if you're ready to even think about another cat or not (and you're the best judge of when/if you're ready!). But I will say that saving the life of another animal in need is a beautiful way to honour the life of your girl.

Take care, ok?

You are not alone

Apr 28, 2017 at 10:28pm

I lost my sweet dog a few months ago, and I've also lost several other pets in the past. Anyone who has ever loved a cat or dog or horse or any other type of pet is going to understand the loss you are dealing with. My dog was literally my best friend. He was always there when nobody else was. I had to make that most painful of decisions to have him euthanized also, and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Even though it's been several months, I still find myself crying out of the blue just remembering some random things. Please know that you're not alone!!! So many other people are also dealing with this kind of loss, and we literally do feel your pain. Hang in there, just as I'm doing and so many others too.