Who are these enlightened sexy fiends you’ve encountered? In my experience open relationships are full of all the jealousies and normal human emotions that people in monogamous relationships feel too. Neither one is better, they are just different ways of being in a relationship. For example, in an open relationship you may have to communicate a lot more frequently about feelings and what you are comfortable or not comfortable with. In a monogamous relationship you might not have to negotiate the relationship norms because physical and emotional betrayal are usually considered deal breakers. If you are meeting people who are acting like their mode of operating is better than yours then tell them why it wouldn’t work for you but that you respect that their model as a valid option, unless you don’t and that might be the reason they are acting that way. They might be acting over confidently or arrogantly to mask their fears of not being accepted in society. Like a defence strategy of some kind that come off as holier than thou. Or maybe they are just jerks? Who knows. Just stop being a jerk back. My partner and I were in an open relationship but were terrified to come out for fear of discrimination from others and having it deemed as a non-valid relationship option.

It's also normal to be tempted, to succumb to temptation, to lie, to be caught, to apologize and promise never to dget it again, and to be tempted.

I'm thinking that "it is normal" would be an insufficient excuse, for you.

Why not try something less hypocritical and boring and divorce-producing?

Mind you I say this only in theory - my wife won't stand for that shit either

I have a feeling the " enlightened ones" are about to come out of the wood work with all their defensive reasoning.

Enlightenment comes in many ways and sex with many partners is probably not the most effective way to achieve this. They tell you it is more enlightening as a way to make you consider that lifestyle. It's called grooming and it's a shitty, selfish thing to do.
I've also grown tired of justifying my monogamous lifestyle. It is who I am, what I am attracted to and makes me happy but this usually isn't respected by people who wish to include me as a side.

After living for what most would consider to be a good long time, I am finally comfortable saying that I think that the concept of an "open" relationship is completely contrary to what the majority of people are really comfortable with. The ones I've spoken with that espouse this are almost always men, and, when pressed, it's quite clear that they are only comfortable as long as it's they that are having multiple relationships! If you really get down to it, they are just as jealous as the next guy at the thought of "their" woman being with another man. So really I think it's just another way for guys to try to convince women that what they really want is to have an open relationship, when mostly it's just that the guy wants to have his cake and eat it too. Sure there are women that also like it, but from the ones I've talked to (quite a few) for the most part they have only agreed to it because of pressure from a man.

Generally I think it's a good idea to air toward being momogamish. This way the relationship can feel secure but with a little safety net such that nobody feels trapped. Usually when I give a lover my blessing to do what they want, they really appreciate that I'm not trying to own or control them. They usually love me for this and, counterintuitively, are less likely to feel the urge to sleep around. And if something does happen, it's not a big deal, we already planned for it. Anyways, when I love someone, I'm glad when they enjoy their life whatever they choose to do.

As for jealousy, I'm jealous when they get a good job or do well in school or sleep with someone else, but I'm still happy for them.

she lied and lied and lied and lied.

it will be made even tho.

It isn't relationship. You're just fucking o e person more frequently. Sorry, but that's how I see it.

They are good-looking enough that people let them get away with it, not enlightened.

People in "open" relationships are generally insecure as hell. They have no confidence that anything they create will survive, so they sabotage things from the outset.