Bashert

I'm deeply in love with a married man whom I have never told about my feelings. When we first met, it was like an electric shock. I've never felt that way before. He wasn't married then, I was. So, life just moved on. I would sometimes forget about it, but then, he would be around again, and zing-zong, right back to that old familiar feeling. It's crazy! I am a rationale person. I DON'T believe in One, or Prince Charming, and I can barely function around this fella. I'm living my best life, and maintaining my integrity but this, this is so hard. So close, but so far. I've read all the advice. Nothing is working. What is to be done or learned when denial is destiny? Maybe I will try Russian literature next.

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Leave him alone

May 23, 2017 at 1:24pm

You didn't leave your spouse for him so why should he leave his for you? You're going to have to keep this one a secret. You never know what the future holds.

19 9Rating: +10

Love vs infatuation

May 23, 2017 at 3:53pm

I'm sure you have strong attraction but you know that's not love, right? Love is after you've fucked, like months or years after, his hair has fallen out, you've discovered his hilarious Trump-shaped birthmark, his mother thinks you are the devil and you still want to be with him. That's when you can say you are deeply in love.

Sounds like limerence

May 23, 2017 at 9:06pm

It's a tough situation, and I feel your pain, as I've been there too. My love obsessions generally transfer to different people over time, but I've never been able to pull up the problem by its root. Is this the first time this has happened to you?

I'm thinking for myself that therapy might be the only answer. I also find the limerence support group on Reddit to be quite helpful for listening to other stories and getting advice. I hope you're able to find a way out of this - good luck!

12 8Rating: +4

Rest assured

May 24, 2017 at 6:48am

There are others out there who know how you feel or understand your plight. I for one know how you feel - I'm a married man and am in love with a close friend of nearly 30 years. Never said anything and I'm the perfect gentleman but ....

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