Tonight I had a terrifying thought of how strange it is that Earth is just floating around in the universe and we're all just on this spinning sphere somehow hanging on (gravity.. but you know what I mean.) Then I remembered that one day I was going to die and had a bit of a panic attack. I finally calmed down but the whole anxious episode made me want to live life. I take things for granted all the time, I pretend that I prefer to be alone when really I just push people away because I don't want to become vulnerable and some how get hurt. There is just so much bullshit in my life because I allow it. I let it effect me and scare me. I am seriously missing out on this very short life we're given. I want to live to the fullest and have no regrets on my death bed. I'd like to become a happier person so I'm going to change things. I've been waiting years for this motivation and an actual desire to live. I've been living as a zombie and it's like I woke up for the first time in years. I'm excited for what's next. Live life as if you were to die tomorrow and just be a better person.