Solitary Productivity

When my partner is away for work I find I am way more productive than when they are home. When they are away...I eat better and less, eating only when I am hungry. I workout every single day. I stay up later working on personal projects. I hardly watch TV. I listen to music more. I make more of an effort to see friends and family and talk on the phone. When they are home, I overeat, I don't workout often, and usually come home just to watch TV. I don't get much done, don't listen to music or talk on the phone. So I wonder if I would better off alone. I have often said/thought that I would prefer to have my own bedroom and sleep in my own bed. Having my own space is extremely gratifying. Of course I'm not adverse to sex, and have a high sex drive. But I would sleep much better when I'm not worried about waking up my partner. I'm not mad or angry at my partner when they come back and genuinely miss them. But sometimes I think I should end things with them, so that I can be alone and as productive as I am when they are away. I'm not afraid to be alone, I am very comfortable with my own company. It seems like such a petty thing to end it. Is this a valid reason to end a relationship? Will it make sense to them? Why do I act so differently when they are home?


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May 19, 2017 at 8:25pm

Why do you act different? Because your partner is probably stressing you out! I love my lady, but man, sometimes I want space, inside, in my home, for a few hours; not just a few minutes. Silence and complete control over your environment can be empowering and liberating. Constantly sharing space, attention, and thoughts -- let alone household responsibilities -- can make you anxious, claustrophobic, and eager to escape.

I mean, when my home is constantly occupied, how am I going to whip out my dong and have a nice, slow jerk? Or skip doing the dishes for that matter without incurring the wrath of Miss Choremaster McBusybody? It's just not the same.


May 20, 2017 at 1:00am

For most of history, nobody could be "alone and productive." This sort of alienation is only possible in species that have developed along a certain, shall we say, autistic, axis.

4 2Rating: +2


May 20, 2017 at 9:25am

I go through a similar experience when my partner is away. I especially eat better and exercise more. But if you are actually considering ending a relationship because of this then you must not care about them that much. My partner and I are glued to the hip. Which can be a problem at times. But easily remedied. It's called communication and also you are part to blame for how you act when they are around. If I just work on it and talk to my partner they would understand no problem! I am very much responsible for how I act when my partner is around.

11 3Rating: +8

It seems like

May 20, 2017 at 11:41pm

You aren't really concerning yourself with putting energy in to improving the relationship or figuring out why you aren't bothered to be your best self while your partner is around. I think that you should break up with your partner so that you can spend time enjoying your own company unfettered by any ties to another humans life. This way your partner can get on with being hurt by the disregard you have for them and the connection they thought you shared, with as much time as possible to find a partner that will want to be with them and work to improve the life they share.

3 1Rating: +2


May 23, 2017 at 9:38am

Honestly I would compare a good partner that has left for a short while on a business trip to a short vacation. It's not your regular life, it's a little break, where you get some things done. I can tell you from personal experience, that if you break up, it's like moving country. You are alone a lot of the time, and while productivity is certainly enjoyable, you eventually burn out, and then you are all alone watching TV and eating too much. Plus, having sex alone for a long period, is shall we say, less than exciting. Especially for someone with a high sex drive.

Perhaps your partner and you are mismatched, perhaps not. Why not try involving them in your activities, instead of blaming them as the reason why you do not complete as many projects as you'd like.
If that fails, try being alone. If that fails, try finding someone as motivated to stay busy as much as you do.

1 1Rating: 0

RE: Anonymous

May 23, 2017 at 10:15am

It sounds like you're blaming the confessor for their problems. You have no idea what they or their partner is like.

1 2Rating: -1

Separate homes?

May 23, 2017 at 4:08pm

maybe you shouldn't live together? It's stimatized but it shouldn't be. It sounds like you love your partner you just don't love living with them

I honestly have been thinking my next relationship I may not want to live with them-see how it goes

2 1Rating: +1

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