I don't think it's working out...

posted June 24th, 2017 at 11:28 AM

It's been a month and a half of dating. We're exclusive, and I do enjoy the time we spend together when we see each other, but that could be once a week, or less. He is busy with work, and he communicates mostly by text, but sometimes it takes hours for him to get back to me, even when he's the one who initiates. He rarely calls, even though I've told him I'd like to talk to him every now and then. (And I do initiate contact with him; I don't just wait for him to reach out.) He never makes plans in advance because he's not sure of his schedule, so it mostly ends up being a same day thing if we can figure it out. We have talked about potential future plans, and that both of us do want to see where this could go, but I'm feeling like an after thought for when he has nothing else going on. My confession is I'm thinking of ending things now, rather than waiting to see if things get better, or if he really will make more time for me. If I feel this ignored how, how can I possibly expect it to get any better later.

11 Comments

Run.

Jun 24, 2017 at 9:41pm

He sounds 100% like my ex...

Yes

Jun 24, 2017 at 9:42pm

From everything you say, it does sound like he's not invested. If you're already thinking of ending it at 6 weeks, that's pretty much a sign that your needs are not being met. He sounds, for lack of a better term, wishy washy. Trust your gut and free yourself from this lacklustre guy. You can find someone who treats you much better.

Same situation

Jun 24, 2017 at 10:46pm

Oh my gosh, how did you know my exact love life??

Hmmm

Jun 25, 2017 at 8:01am

I wonder what kind of job he has?

Reality check

Jun 25, 2017 at 8:34am

Your instincts are serving you well. You've asked for more contact and you're not getting it. Sounds like he has other priorities, maybe an existing life partner (sorry to mention it but it did cross my mind). Good Luck!

Tell him what you need from him

Jun 25, 2017 at 2:00pm

If he cares, he'll deliver. If not, then you have your answer. But you could also just end it now and save time. Sounds like he's not that into you.

with guy

Jun 25, 2017 at 7:46pm

actions (or lack of actions) always speak louder than words.

Instead of ending things right off, why don't you just use a little mirroring and pull back and not text back right away, like usual.

If he reacts and start making you more of a priority and makes more time for you, then no need to end it.

If you end up seeing less and less of each other, then eventually it will end.

Follow your instinct

Jun 25, 2017 at 11:13pm

I think you're right and how someone treats you at the beginning of a relationship is very important. If they treat you as relatively unimportant that early on, imagine how it might get once they got really comfortable?