Attracted to everyone

posted July 22nd, 2017 at 11:03 PM

I've been married for almost a decade to a dude I love with all my heart, but I'm so attracted to other people - especially in the last few years. Everywhere I go, there's always someone who catches my eye. I can't stop thinking about some of these guys! It doesn't help that, since I've gained some confidence as of late, guys are making an effort to hit on me - like, running across traffic to say hi, kind of effort. Like I'm suddenly at the age where they genuinely say 'have a nice day' when they notice me instead of howling. Thirty has been good to me, but I've been with the same guy for so long. We both think monogamy is unnatural, anyway - more and more. Is that grounds enough to open up a relationship, because I want to sleep around? I really love my guy and he's sexy, too. He'd be down with an open relationship, we've tossed it around. But is that it - that's how this happens? So tempting.

6 Comments

eat life in big bites

Jul 24, 2017 at 1:27pm

That's my feedback

ignore the downvotes

Jul 24, 2017 at 1:30pm

Yes, this is exactly how this happens, and it can be great and wonderful and make your marriage stronger - if it's what you both want and you are both radically honest with each other - or it can wreck everything - if either of you is concealing something or just going along.

Are You a Penguin?

Jul 24, 2017 at 2:48pm

I've heard they mate for life. People? Not so much.
This isn't the 1950s. If both of you have expressed that you feel monogamy is unnatural, and that you are increasingly attracted to other people..... maybe you should talk about it.
Maybe watch the movie "Hall Pass" together some night to break the ice. Then, "funny movie huh? What a crazy idea.....what do you think...?

Whoa

Jul 24, 2017 at 8:14pm

Why the negative rating? Everyone buys blindly into monogamy? It's ridiculous to suppress our natural desire to reproduce, as animals. Monogamy is feeling more and more like a constructed economy-booster: buy this, buy this, live together with one person and accumulate things. It's just not natural.

Lmao!

Jul 24, 2017 at 9:09pm

Yes that's how it happens.

just...

Jul 26, 2017 at 9:45am

Make sure you are ethical about it. Read the Ethical Slut. Remember that when you open up, you are letting other people in. Other.. PEOPLE. not just toys and boys to and girls to sleep with. PEOPLE. Be good about it. Think just as much from the outside perspective as your own, but honestly, you have a fall back plan. Maybe think about a sex club or a way to do it together. Don't pretend to be single. You might catch fewer fish but at least you won't be hurting and lying. And yes. I have some baggage regarding this. But heed my advice anyway. Be as open as you want ( tho, in my experience... once its open its broken)