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posted Friday, June 8, 2012 at 2:57pm
I developed my first crush in kindergarten and to be honest, haven't had any down time since then. I'm 32. One crush fades into another, relationships die but are quickly replaced. I guess I feel a sense of guilt which makes me wonder if my approach to my love life has been needy/immature/something-else-bad. Or maybe I'm just young and having fun.
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Jun 8, 2012 at 3:37 pm
Maybe you are in love with love. The chemical, oxytocin, that lust produces gives one a heady high initially.
The problems that arise is that people get addicted to this feeling and run with it. They often overlook the object of their affections true essence and personality in favor of who they wish to believe that person to be.
Basically, you fall in love with an illusion, develop unrealistic expectations based on who you think this person is, and project your own feelings on to them.
If you are prone to this type of behavior, hold on on sleeping with the object of your affection until you truly get to know their personality, quirks and all. This takes time.Do not put this person on a pedestal, either.Trust me, they have their own individual flaws and are just as human as you are.
Don't fantasize about what could be, what was or analyze every conversation. Take it day by day and enjoy the moment.Enjoy this peron's company with out getting swallowed up in fantasy. Keep it real and get to know the person slowly.
If this person demonstrates characteristics that go against your value, than end things sooner rather than later, to avoid heartache.
Also, if things end, don't take it as a measure of your self-worth. It just means that you two were not a good fit.
Good luck!
The problems that arise is that people get addicted to this feeling and run with it. They often overlook the object of their affections true essence and personality in favor of who they wish to believe that person to be.
Basically, you fall in love with an illusion, develop unrealistic expectations based on who you think this person is, and project your own feelings on to them.
If you are prone to this type of behavior, hold on on sleeping with the object of your affection until you truly get to know their personality, quirks and all. This takes time.Do not put this person on a pedestal, either.Trust me, they have their own individual flaws and are just as human as you are.
Don't fantasize about what could be, what was or analyze every conversation. Take it day by day and enjoy the moment.Enjoy this peron's company with out getting swallowed up in fantasy. Keep it real and get to know the person slowly.
If this person demonstrates characteristics that go against your value, than end things sooner rather than later, to avoid heartache.
Also, if things end, don't take it as a measure of your self-worth. It just means that you two were not a good fit.
Good luck!
Jun 8, 2012 at 9:45 pm
"maybe I'm just young and having fun"
You're 32: that's not young. For at least five years you have not being growing, and your brain's plasticity is now relatively static compared to when you were, say, twenty. Your body is going through hormonal changes associated with the decline of your ability to produce viable offspring. Your cells, when replaced, are being replaced with degraded copies.
Sorry. I'm projecting onto you my annoyance with the cult of youth that has people bending reality so that they can self-identify as "young" when they're in their thirties. For 99% of the history of our species, 32 was a ripe old age. You would be on your way to the grave by now just a few hundred years ago, and you would know it too.
Perhaps your vivid idealizing has something to do with your inability to maintain relationships.
You're 32: that's not young. For at least five years you have not being growing, and your brain's plasticity is now relatively static compared to when you were, say, twenty. Your body is going through hormonal changes associated with the decline of your ability to produce viable offspring. Your cells, when replaced, are being replaced with degraded copies.
Sorry. I'm projecting onto you my annoyance with the cult of youth that has people bending reality so that they can self-identify as "young" when they're in their thirties. For 99% of the history of our species, 32 was a ripe old age. You would be on your way to the grave by now just a few hundred years ago, and you would know it too.
Perhaps your vivid idealizing has something to do with your inability to maintain relationships.
Jun 9, 2012 at 9:23 am
Is not cool. 32 is relatively young considering people live to be about 80 or 90 these days.
When you say that 32 used to be considered a ripe old age, you have to consider that we are an evolving species (some of us) and know longer living in the dark ages.
Women who are in their 30's do not have plasticized and static brains.
In my twenties, I was relatively stupid and acted purely on hormones.
Now, in my thirties, I am able to learn from my mistakes and have developed wisdom.
Your claim in very ignorant.
A woman can have children in her early 40's now.
Learning is a lifelong process and the brain does not atrophy unless one is closed minded and has fixed ideas on life, such as yourself.
You sound like a man who has been burned by a few women and now you have a chip on your shoulder
When you say that 32 used to be considered a ripe old age, you have to consider that we are an evolving species (some of us) and know longer living in the dark ages.
Women who are in their 30's do not have plasticized and static brains.
In my twenties, I was relatively stupid and acted purely on hormones.
Now, in my thirties, I am able to learn from my mistakes and have developed wisdom.
Your claim in very ignorant.
A woman can have children in her early 40's now.
Learning is a lifelong process and the brain does not atrophy unless one is closed minded and has fixed ideas on life, such as yourself.
You sound like a man who has been burned by a few women and now you have a chip on your shoulder
Jun 9, 2012 at 9:27 pm
Like I said, I don't like people who are not young pretending that they are. You are young when your body and cells are not dying. When your body and cells begin their decline, you are entering middle age. It seems a little arbitrary, I know, but until very recently, this was commonly accepted.
The implicit discrimination against aging that is the denial of one's age by falsely calling yourself young is what caused me to make my first comment, as I made abundantly clear. Pretending to be young when you are entering middle age rewards the unhealthy idealization of youth and is the view that is actually AGEIST.
You haven't really thought things through, but I commend your half-baked emotional response. It inspired me to write this delightfully didactical return. When responding online, some people jerk off with one hand while typing with the other, but I wag my finger instead - so much more satisfying.
The implicit discrimination against aging that is the denial of one's age by falsely calling yourself young is what caused me to make my first comment, as I made abundantly clear. Pretending to be young when you are entering middle age rewards the unhealthy idealization of youth and is the view that is actually AGEIST.
You haven't really thought things through, but I commend your half-baked emotional response. It inspired me to write this delightfully didactical return. When responding online, some people jerk off with one hand while typing with the other, but I wag my finger instead - so much more satisfying.
Jun 10, 2012 at 9:49 am
As I grow in age, I value mature ladies most of all. Here are just a few of the reasons senior men sing the praises of older women:
An older woman knows how to smile with such brightness and truth, old men stagger.
An older woman will never ask out of the blue, "What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn't care what you think.
An older woman has been around long enough to know who she is, what she wants, and from whom. By the age of 50, few women are wishy-washy. About anything. Thank God!
And yes, once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart!
Her libido's stronger.
Her fear of pregnancy's gone.
Her appreciation of experienced lovemaking is honed and reciprocal.
And she's lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her daughter could never dream of. (Young men, you have something to look forward to!)
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, fearing that you might think worse of her. An older woman doesn't give a damn.
An older, single woman usually has had her fill of "meaningful relationships" and "long-term commitments." Can't relate? Can't commit? She could care less. The last thing she needs in her life is another whiny, dependent lover!
Older women are sublime. They seldom contemplate having a shouting match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive dinner. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
Most older women cook well. They care about cleanliness. They're generous with praise, often undeserved.
An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A young woman often snarls with distrust when "her guy" is with other women. Older women couldn't care less.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. Like your mother, they always know.
Yes, we geezers praise older women for a multitude of reasons.
An older woman knows how to smile with such brightness and truth, old men stagger.
An older woman will never ask out of the blue, "What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn't care what you think.
An older woman has been around long enough to know who she is, what she wants, and from whom. By the age of 50, few women are wishy-washy. About anything. Thank God!
And yes, once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart!
Her libido's stronger.
Her fear of pregnancy's gone.
Her appreciation of experienced lovemaking is honed and reciprocal.
And she's lived long enough to know how to please a man in ways her daughter could never dream of. (Young men, you have something to look forward to!)
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off that you are a jerk if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, fearing that you might think worse of her. An older woman doesn't give a damn.
An older, single woman usually has had her fill of "meaningful relationships" and "long-term commitments." Can't relate? Can't commit? She could care less. The last thing she needs in her life is another whiny, dependent lover!
Older women are sublime. They seldom contemplate having a shouting match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive dinner. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
Most older women cook well. They care about cleanliness. They're generous with praise, often undeserved.
An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A young woman often snarls with distrust when "her guy" is with other women. Older women couldn't care less.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. Like your mother, they always know.
Yes, we geezers praise older women for a multitude of reasons.
Jun 10, 2012 at 10:06 am
I accept the fact that you don’t like older woman feeling younger than their age. I personally don’t particularly like younger men who are shallow, pretentious and egotistical. I guess it is an acquired taste.
This issue is not about the denial of age, it is about the issue of age not even being an issue. It is about not limiting yourself or defining yourself by the number on your birth certificate.
Some people age gracefully, other people not so much. We all age. I believe kindness and love show on your face, as well as anger and hatred.
The spirit is eternal. I tend to fall for men with spirit, kindness, intellect and wisdom. I like playful men who are fun, charismatic and romantic. These are ageless qualities.
Many of my girlfriends date younger men without any issue. These younger men are mature and appreciate the beauty of a woman who is older.
It is very telling how defensive you have become over my challenge of your own half-baked theory. I am wondering why you are feeling so threatened of a woman in her thirties who feels good about herself and doesn’t have an issue with age?
Your crude language and choice use of three syllable words is a testament to your insecurity and inferiority complex. This speaks volumes about your character and discredits your theories in my books.
Thank-you for feeling the need to reassure me that you feel threatened by my point of view and that you obviously have a point to prove .That is why you took the time to post this diabolical drivel.
This issue is not about the denial of age, it is about the issue of age not even being an issue. It is about not limiting yourself or defining yourself by the number on your birth certificate.
Some people age gracefully, other people not so much. We all age. I believe kindness and love show on your face, as well as anger and hatred.
The spirit is eternal. I tend to fall for men with spirit, kindness, intellect and wisdom. I like playful men who are fun, charismatic and romantic. These are ageless qualities.
Many of my girlfriends date younger men without any issue. These younger men are mature and appreciate the beauty of a woman who is older.
It is very telling how defensive you have become over my challenge of your own half-baked theory. I am wondering why you are feeling so threatened of a woman in her thirties who feels good about herself and doesn’t have an issue with age?
Your crude language and choice use of three syllable words is a testament to your insecurity and inferiority complex. This speaks volumes about your character and discredits your theories in my books.
Thank-you for feeling the need to reassure me that you feel threatened by my point of view and that you obviously have a point to prove .That is why you took the time to post this diabolical drivel.
Jun 10, 2012 at 12:57 pm
Ahhh you're right. Sorry for basically calling you old: classic ungentlemanly faux pas. Sometimes online you respond to ideas on their own and forget that there are actually people on the other side, and that this isn't some kind of text based debate video game. You end up constructing this nasty virtual caricature of yourself and you look back at it and go, "did I actually do that? What was behind it?"
Also, your mocking use of alliteration was a distinctly withering final blow. I only wish that I had used those big words in complete seriousness... I would have melted like the Wicked Witch of the East.
Also, your mocking use of alliteration was a distinctly withering final blow. I only wish that I had used those big words in complete seriousness... I would have melted like the Wicked Witch of the East.
Jun 10, 2012 at 1:31 pm
My, my, someone was sure paying attention in English Lit 101. Your parent’s dime was wisely spent.
No intention of mocking the unintentional mishaps of incompetent writers, you clever little Bathos.
Your response is laden with allegory meaning. The cause of great shame felt by a hero after failure, spoken like a true Ados.
I shall claim my defeat, in the beasts of battle. I will forsake thee of my cardinal virtues.
I use big words; therefore, I exist!
No intention of mocking the unintentional mishaps of incompetent writers, you clever little Bathos.
Your response is laden with allegory meaning. The cause of great shame felt by a hero after failure, spoken like a true Ados.
I shall claim my defeat, in the beasts of battle. I will forsake thee of my cardinal virtues.
I use big words; therefore, I exist!
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