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posted Saturday, July 28, 2012 at 3:52pm
For anyone who confesses a self-pitying loneliness cry... You are lonely for one of these simple reasons: 1.You are in denial about how lonely you've been your whole life and wrongly think that being in a relationship makes your loneliness go away -- it doesn't, it just masks it. 2. You believe that your worth as a person is determined by whether or not you have a partner. 3. You blame the actions and choices of other people (or society as a whole) for why you are single. or... 4. You blame yourself too harshy and your lack of self-love comes out in ways which make you unappealing. Hope that helps, these were realizations I worked hard to come to. I'm single too, but I am not filled with emptiness or heartache because of it and I wanted to share why.
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Jul 28, 2012 at 7:43 pm
but if you except number 1. that you've been lonely for most of your life, i don't see how that makes things any easier
Jul 28, 2012 at 9:46 pm
I can totally relate to this post in a big way. It took me a few years but the most important thing I have learned is that you don't have to have someone by your side to get reward out of the goodnesses in life. Whether that be a friend or lover or whatever. If you can't enjoy your own company, you can't expect to have others enjoy your company either. Best thing I ever did was spend sometime with myself - I very quickly realized that there were things that needed tweaking - things I didn't see when I was socially distracted. I realized that I was the disappoint in my life. Now I just take each day as it comes, keep the expectations low and if it is a lemon - I make every effort to make lemonade out of it. I have never felt more content and I no longer feel disappointed.
Jul 29, 2012 at 1:39 am
It makes things easier because you hopefully get to the point where you realize that people and relationships cannot make your loneliness go away...so instead of being in a constant cycle of searching then getting disappointed you look inward and draw comfort and peace from yourself and your activities and passions. When you realize that no one could ever make you less lonely you stop thinking someone can and you stop looking for them and you start to enjoy your life exactly as it is.
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