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posted Friday, August 10, 2012 at 4:14pm
I absolutely love smoking pot however my significant other doesn't think it's such a great idea. I have a great job with a six figure income (continuing to rise), treat my partner with respect, and am a fully functioning member of society (i.e. I don't sit around the basement for hours on end smoking, playing video games and living like a hippie, as the stereotype indicates.) My partner however insists I give up smoking! WTF? Should I comply?
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Aug 10, 2012 at 4:23 pm
I'm the original poster and just wanted to add that if I can get away with it I smoke every single day, including during work. Maybe not advisable for most people but I seem to be doing alright!
Aug 10, 2012 at 5:08 pm
Oh yeah, I have been smoking like this for our entire 10+ year relationship!
Aug 10, 2012 at 5:22 pm
If you love doing something, and in your case it seems like you are doing it responsibly, then go ahead and continue doing it. I would never stop doing something I absolutely love for the sake of someone else (sorry). It may sound selfish to some, but it's my life right? Explain to him/her why exactly you are doing it. They likely have preconceived notions about what "weed" is, and the types that engage in this "behaviour." I bet you there is something about him/her that you dislike as well. Have you asked them to stop that? How did it go?
My friend smokes cigarettes which I believe is much worse than marijuana, yet he knows the consequences so I don't hassle him about it...but he does it respectfully. He always goes outside to smoke, never does it near me, nor does he or his apartment smell like it. I don't think you should give it up, rather ask them specifically what is bothersome about it...if it's the smell, you can smoke it somewhere else...if they think that it's only for hippies or lowlifes, I suggest you have some explaining to do. :)
My friend smokes cigarettes which I believe is much worse than marijuana, yet he knows the consequences so I don't hassle him about it...but he does it respectfully. He always goes outside to smoke, never does it near me, nor does he or his apartment smell like it. I don't think you should give it up, rather ask them specifically what is bothersome about it...if it's the smell, you can smoke it somewhere else...if they think that it's only for hippies or lowlifes, I suggest you have some explaining to do. :)
Aug 10, 2012 at 9:33 pm
On behalf of drug dealers, gang members and all of our friends in the criminal community, THANK YOU for your outstanding financial contributions and ongoing support over these past 10 years. Without you, we simply wouldn't be here so, once again, thank you! Keep on smoking, keep on promoting, keep on believing - so we can continue to thrive and build the society YOU want in Vancouver!
Aug 11, 2012 at 12:01 am
We got Capone rich during alcohol prohibition as well!
Aug 11, 2012 at 12:25 am
As a vocal anti-smoker I finally ended up loving a woman that smokes [both kinds] and whilst some times I find it irritating - not the actual smoking part but the behaviour around it. I knew this when we got together and it didn't stop us from going ahead with our relationship. My suggestion is that something else has changed in your relationship - the smoking thing being the thin end of the wedge.
Aug 11, 2012 at 12:57 am
I think you should do what's best for your overall health, and smoking anything everyday is not good for your health.
There are a lot of long term side-effects associated with marijuana, poor lung health, etc.
http://www.sciencealert.com.au/news/20120808-23645.html
Ask yourself why you feel the need to self medicate everyday? You are addicted to a substance and it's causing tension in your relationship, yet you refuse to give it up. I wonder if your partner started drinking or smoking everyday, would you be okay with it?
At the end of the day, it's your life and you're going to do what you want, but if I were in a relationship and I truly cared about the other person I was with and they asked me to stop smoking cigarettes, weed or drinking everyday of course I would, or at least make an attempt. Otherwise you two aren't meant for each other.
Good luck, and don't forget your partner has you best interest.
There are a lot of long term side-effects associated with marijuana, poor lung health, etc.
http://www.sciencealert.com.au/news/20120808-23645.html
Ask yourself why you feel the need to self medicate everyday? You are addicted to a substance and it's causing tension in your relationship, yet you refuse to give it up. I wonder if your partner started drinking or smoking everyday, would you be okay with it?
At the end of the day, it's your life and you're going to do what you want, but if I were in a relationship and I truly cared about the other person I was with and they asked me to stop smoking cigarettes, weed or drinking everyday of course I would, or at least make an attempt. Otherwise you two aren't meant for each other.
Good luck, and don't forget your partner has you best interest.
Aug 11, 2012 at 5:16 am
@Anon
Dude, did you even READ the article you cited? Ok, first off, even if we were to accept the material you cite as valid, it only suggests a correlation - not causation. Further, it is just one longitudinal study. Anyone that understands science knows that one study alone does not establish anything – it provides an avenue for further investigation but that’s about it.
This makes your insistence on "long term side effects" a bit questionable. Even the researchers in your article wouldn’t make any definite claims about where the anxiety was sourced. And that is mostly because they don’t know. Such a study could never tell them because it relies on self-reporting: An often ridiculously poor investigation tool when it comes to understanding biochemistry of the brain.
It is time to face reality. He may have a problem and he may not. I don’t know and neither do you. What we can say with some certainty, however, is this: his "self medication" far less annoying than your moral entrepreneurship is.
@Life Ahoy
Really? You’re going to blame a single user for gangsterism? Grow up, it is the fault of legislators – they created the black market and they continue to permit it to exist.
Sure, to be absolutely clear, the purchases of any one dude do contribute to the gangsters’ profits but ANYONE that does not support the full legalization of all drugs helps secure those profits. So, unless you do support full legalization, go fuck yourself.
Seriously, get a goddamned clue.
Dude, did you even READ the article you cited? Ok, first off, even if we were to accept the material you cite as valid, it only suggests a correlation - not causation. Further, it is just one longitudinal study. Anyone that understands science knows that one study alone does not establish anything – it provides an avenue for further investigation but that’s about it.
This makes your insistence on "long term side effects" a bit questionable. Even the researchers in your article wouldn’t make any definite claims about where the anxiety was sourced. And that is mostly because they don’t know. Such a study could never tell them because it relies on self-reporting: An often ridiculously poor investigation tool when it comes to understanding biochemistry of the brain.
It is time to face reality. He may have a problem and he may not. I don’t know and neither do you. What we can say with some certainty, however, is this: his "self medication" far less annoying than your moral entrepreneurship is.
@Life Ahoy
Really? You’re going to blame a single user for gangsterism? Grow up, it is the fault of legislators – they created the black market and they continue to permit it to exist.
Sure, to be absolutely clear, the purchases of any one dude do contribute to the gangsters’ profits but ANYONE that does not support the full legalization of all drugs helps secure those profits. So, unless you do support full legalization, go fuck yourself.
Seriously, get a goddamned clue.
Aug 11, 2012 at 8:32 am
To the OP: I had a girlfriend who couldn't tolerate weed but was just fine with alcohol. The weed is still here, she's not. :-)
Aug 11, 2012 at 1:03 pm
@Some Guy Named Bob
I love how you focus on the article, and completely disregard "poor lung health". But then again you can't really argue with that, can you?
And moral entrepreneurship? Really? If you actually read what I wrote, I never said I'm against weed. I'm fine with it, and don't care about what this dude does.
I gave him an opinion in regards to a relationship issue which is what he asked for.
YES, weed is a drug. And yes, if you're smoking it everyday (in westernized culture), multiple times a day (and at work), it's considered substance abuse.
Also you didn't give an opinion on the original post to begin with, instead chose to jump all over commenters?
Sorry bro, you sound lame. And I can't believe I just wasted a minute replying to you.
I love how you focus on the article, and completely disregard "poor lung health". But then again you can't really argue with that, can you?
And moral entrepreneurship? Really? If you actually read what I wrote, I never said I'm against weed. I'm fine with it, and don't care about what this dude does.
I gave him an opinion in regards to a relationship issue which is what he asked for.
YES, weed is a drug. And yes, if you're smoking it everyday (in westernized culture), multiple times a day (and at work), it's considered substance abuse.
Also you didn't give an opinion on the original post to begin with, instead chose to jump all over commenters?
Sorry bro, you sound lame. And I can't believe I just wasted a minute replying to you.
Aug 11, 2012 at 6:38 pm
i like how everyone who post that they smoke pot always claim they make 6 figures
Aug 11, 2012 at 8:52 pm
@Anon
You're calling me lame even as you act like you've scored a victory because I didn't argue against the very well established fact that carbon monoxide causes lung damage? Wow, you really missed the point, didn't ya?
You then insist that you aren't moralizing even as you pronounce his addiction and that it is a product of a need to self-medicate? And you presume to do so without even a single shred of medical evidence? Yeah, you're moralizing, all right.
The fact is that if he were talking about coffee, rather than a historically frowned upon substance, the likelihood that you would have considered notions like addiction and self medication are, I’m willing to guess, next to zero.
If there is anything to be called lame here, it is your crippled reasoning.
You're calling me lame even as you act like you've scored a victory because I didn't argue against the very well established fact that carbon monoxide causes lung damage? Wow, you really missed the point, didn't ya?
You then insist that you aren't moralizing even as you pronounce his addiction and that it is a product of a need to self-medicate? And you presume to do so without even a single shred of medical evidence? Yeah, you're moralizing, all right.
The fact is that if he were talking about coffee, rather than a historically frowned upon substance, the likelihood that you would have considered notions like addiction and self medication are, I’m willing to guess, next to zero.
If there is anything to be called lame here, it is your crippled reasoning.
Aug 12, 2012 at 11:03 pm
Say you do develop an anxiety disorder in your 20's, wouldn't the simple and obvious solution to help your anxiety be to smoke more pot? I think so.
Aug 13, 2012 at 12:04 am
YEah, back to the question. Well, My x GF said the exact same thing. Something mut be going around, women are all into the raw foods, meditation, yoga and everything else to align chakras, lose weight, experience real spirituality and prepare their bodies for motherhood. What's a guy to do? Not too much because all we have programmed in us is to work, hunt, procreate and maybe herd children. Wasn't very long ago that weed could be bought as a tincture in drugstores.
Buddy, like it nor not people are going to disagree with minute details of our lives. Sometimes its strangers, sometimes its people we love. As we get older our habits get more ingrained.
She wants you to change - what in her life is she willing to change? Fewer meditation sessions? Less Yoga? Doubtful. In fact, if you tallied up everything you've changed to suit her, and everything she's changed to suit herself, you will see a correlation.
You know that you really don't want to quit. You know you can't stand her complaining. It's going to be a painful separation, but as the women come and go know you will always have the weed. Enjoy your life! - signed, a functioning pothead who is also alone and perhaps looking for an equally functioning pothead (surely my just reward)....
Buddy, like it nor not people are going to disagree with minute details of our lives. Sometimes its strangers, sometimes its people we love. As we get older our habits get more ingrained.
She wants you to change - what in her life is she willing to change? Fewer meditation sessions? Less Yoga? Doubtful. In fact, if you tallied up everything you've changed to suit her, and everything she's changed to suit herself, you will see a correlation.
You know that you really don't want to quit. You know you can't stand her complaining. It's going to be a painful separation, but as the women come and go know you will always have the weed. Enjoy your life! - signed, a functioning pothead who is also alone and perhaps looking for an equally functioning pothead (surely my just reward)....
Aug 13, 2012 at 7:57 pm
Some really smart people need it to clear, get out of their head and not think.
As long as you don't have anger issues when you're off it, and the weed becomes your only way to cope with stress then maybe it's something to look at.
As long as you don't have anger issues when you're off it, and the weed becomes your only way to cope with stress then maybe it's something to look at.
Aug 13, 2012 at 8:41 pm
You might want to reconsider your self analysis of being totally functioning. Do you have a trusted friend, whom you know fo a long time, preferably a non user, who you can ask for honest feedback as to whether they see a decline in your abilities, responsiveness, social ness. Listen to them carefully no matter what they say.
It would seem to me that living with a daily user would be a dreary thing. Can't help but think the non user would wonder if they are having a relationship with someone who isn't really there.
The other thing to schedule is to take a week off, next week. If you can't plan that, or try and fail, then you must see that as positive proof as a substance abuse problem, ie you're hooked boy. Be honest with yourself, don't let your stoned buddies delude you.
If in the end you can't make the change, and she leaves, then you have made the choice of all addicts and alcoholics- ie drug procurement takes first priority over all, including loved ones.
It would seem to me that living with a daily user would be a dreary thing. Can't help but think the non user would wonder if they are having a relationship with someone who isn't really there.
The other thing to schedule is to take a week off, next week. If you can't plan that, or try and fail, then you must see that as positive proof as a substance abuse problem, ie you're hooked boy. Be honest with yourself, don't let your stoned buddies delude you.
If in the end you can't make the change, and she leaves, then you have made the choice of all addicts and alcoholics- ie drug procurement takes first priority over all, including loved ones.
Aug 14, 2012 at 7:54 am
If she thought you'd grow out of it, then that's her mistake. So you want to chemically alter yourself everyday...can't blame her for her concern. If your 10 year relationship is otherwise good, you have to ask yourself how much of an addict you to want pot more than love? (note to haters...addiction takes many forms).
Aug 15, 2012 at 9:51 am
Personally I would say weed is a lot more safer than alcohol. No matter how much you smoke you will always be in control of yourself. The only time it becomes a problem is when you smoke it all the time. Maybe you should try to cut down and stop smoking it in work! If your employer finds out you will probably lose your job! Everything in moderation my friend!
Aug 15, 2012 at 3:23 pm
Thanks for all the feedback. Here are some more details: I've quit for a couple of weeks now and did it without issue. I miss it but am not craving it and wasn't some crazy person without it. I explained to my partner that I have simply been very self indulgent by smoking all the time and not some crazy drug addict who can't stop. I have stopped in the past for as long as a year. I just miss smoking, the taste and of course the high. I am currently negotiating an allotment that shows some control and will reduce my consumption. I'm thinking a half ounce a month vs. half ounce a week. Is that reasonable? Should that proposal be accepted?
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