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posted Wednesday, June 13, 2012 at 9:07pm
So I'm one of the better looking Native guys, I've figured it out over the years. I got super long hair that women love, brown skin and slightly Asian-y eyes. I'm average size I suppose, I'm 5'10'' and 158 lbs. I also wear glasses because my eyesight sucks. Oh, I also dress well and I'm a pretty smart guy. Oh one more thing, I don't drink or go to bars or clubs or even parties. I do smoke weed though, this is Vancouver.
I'll spare the long story but not long after I got out here when I was 20 I got into a "relationship" with a 32 year old white woman.
Anyway, by 2007 whatever that had ended but I missed 'weirdness' and sneaking around as that 'relationship' warped my brain. I started "honing" my weird side, learning to attract attention to myself without it being incredibly obvious.
I'll spare the experimentation stories but basically, over the years I perfected a lot of "techniques" to the point where I can get a woman's/girls attention even when she's with her boyfriend. I also love that look of jealousy on a guys face when I do it. From doing this for years I also figured out "the secrets" of eye contact and reading body language and from doing that I also learned to how to talk and flirt pretty damn good.
Regardless of me being Native, regardless of the race of the women I can get them to take an interest in me in good ways. If a woman talks to me I like to play "coy," I'll act bashful and sort of play with my hair and smile a lot. Other times I'll just take charge.
All of this said though I don’t do it all the time. Most of the time nowadays I don’t bother to look back but I enjoy “turning it on” at times just because I know I can, I love that feeling when you’re making eye contact with a woman and it’s obvious you’re into each other.
btw I'm no "Native Brad Pitt" I'm more like "Native Ryan Gosling" it's eery how much I look like him, only brown.
So my confession is: I’ve learned to attract women by "playing up my Native-ness" and I like doing it just because I can, I love it.
Comments (11) Add New Comment
Jun 14, 2012 at 12:30 am
Being bashful, playing with your hair and smiling alot aren't really mannerisms I have witnessed Native men do simultaneously . I haven't really seen any man do that come to think of it.
Jun 14, 2012 at 7:07 am
Your comment about the 'relationship' and how the weirdness of it affected you helped to explain something to me about a guy I know who was involved with a married woman for two years, and now thinks lying and cheating is perfectly fine, thank you. It never occurred to me that his previous situation might have affected him so badly. Ahh....neuroplasticity at work! Who would have guessed?
Jun 14, 2012 at 9:31 am
'regardless of me being Native'... that sentence makes me sad.. race, culture, ethnicity.. shouldn't matter, diversity makes the world an interesting place. as a 'white' girl, I think native men are beautiful... Native Pride.
Jun 14, 2012 at 11:08 am
You are a real John Redcorn from the television cartoon series King of the Hill.
Jun 14, 2012 at 10:19 pm
Why don't you do something useful with your time? All this time you have invested in playing with your hair and acting bashful could have gotten you to a place in your life where you realize how ridiculous this post sounds.
Jun 15, 2012 at 2:40 am
In trying to be quick I left out so much.
Thespian: Hence 'honing my weird side,' there's something modern/friendly/normal (but strange) about me that allows me to get away w/ things like that. Also hence the 'regardless of me..." line.
A Girl: Actually about 5 years ago I noticed a massive change in attitude, maybe it's due in part to all the movies coming out since then that have Native people in them. The "regardless of me..." was noting the change (for the better) and how nowadays race is becoming less of an issue for anything.
Sold: It is self confidence developed over time through trial and error (not that I lacked it before).
Book: Again, in trying to be quick I left out a lot. I've been working since I was 17, which for a Native person is miraculous. 3 years ago or so I started taking part time classes. I've been playing guitar since I was 10 and can play this song and others like it exactly as they sound (my guitar playing skills are the absolute "guarantee-er" of getting a woman): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVk4Iyld4Z8
Thanks: It was weird and warping because for 3 years I snuck around to avoid family and friends and it felt fun and dirty, it was exciting, I felt so "alive." We also had sex in her van a lot when we parked at Queens Park. Our first few times together we said it would be 'sex only.' About a month after it started we started doing 'couple' things on Fridays and Saturdays, after a while I wondered what was up with us. Also at the time she was not married, she didn't get married until late 2008. About the 'cheating' and thinking it's ok; after it 'ended' it wasn't over, 3-4 times a year we'd still see each other. Two months ago, after our last 'encounter' she sent me an email. She explained our 'thing' ended in 2007 because she met a white guy, she married him in late 2008 which I didn't know. She tried to end with me many times since then but couldn't, she said she would cry afterward in her van because of guilt. So, it kills me to know I was "that guy," the guy that a woman cheated with, I'm NOT ok with cheating. If I had known she got married I would have ended it myself. However it is NOW over, she ended it with that email then shut the account down after I sent my reply to her, we just said our goodbyes basically. Some more things I forgot: I'm 29 but look very young. Also, "getting attention/attraction," I can do it very quickly, just by a few glances and "eye smiles." "Also-also," I don't do this all the time, I just like exchanging those looks of interest with a woman and leaving it at that, or, I like doing it just cause I can.
Thespian: Hence 'honing my weird side,' there's something modern/friendly/normal (but strange) about me that allows me to get away w/ things like that. Also hence the 'regardless of me..." line.
A Girl: Actually about 5 years ago I noticed a massive change in attitude, maybe it's due in part to all the movies coming out since then that have Native people in them. The "regardless of me..." was noting the change (for the better) and how nowadays race is becoming less of an issue for anything.
Sold: It is self confidence developed over time through trial and error (not that I lacked it before).
Book: Again, in trying to be quick I left out a lot. I've been working since I was 17, which for a Native person is miraculous. 3 years ago or so I started taking part time classes. I've been playing guitar since I was 10 and can play this song and others like it exactly as they sound (my guitar playing skills are the absolute "guarantee-er" of getting a woman): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cVk4Iyld4Z8
Thanks: It was weird and warping because for 3 years I snuck around to avoid family and friends and it felt fun and dirty, it was exciting, I felt so "alive." We also had sex in her van a lot when we parked at Queens Park. Our first few times together we said it would be 'sex only.' About a month after it started we started doing 'couple' things on Fridays and Saturdays, after a while I wondered what was up with us. Also at the time she was not married, she didn't get married until late 2008. About the 'cheating' and thinking it's ok; after it 'ended' it wasn't over, 3-4 times a year we'd still see each other. Two months ago, after our last 'encounter' she sent me an email. She explained our 'thing' ended in 2007 because she met a white guy, she married him in late 2008 which I didn't know. She tried to end with me many times since then but couldn't, she said she would cry afterward in her van because of guilt. So, it kills me to know I was "that guy," the guy that a woman cheated with, I'm NOT ok with cheating. If I had known she got married I would have ended it myself. However it is NOW over, she ended it with that email then shut the account down after I sent my reply to her, we just said our goodbyes basically. Some more things I forgot: I'm 29 but look very young. Also, "getting attention/attraction," I can do it very quickly, just by a few glances and "eye smiles." "Also-also," I don't do this all the time, I just like exchanging those looks of interest with a woman and leaving it at that, or, I like doing it just cause I can.
Jun 15, 2012 at 2:59 am
Great, thank you 'Thanks,' in making my last post I started thinking of the fun her and I used to have. Originally we met in a yahoo chatroom lol. I was 20 and tired from work, I was working on Annacis Island. We kept running into each other in the room and added each other on yahoo messenger, somehow things got 'dirty' after a while. A few weeks later we met in person, she gave me a bj the first night. Next week she let me bang her. Week after that I popped her "ass cherry" in her van. Eventually it became going to dinner together or movies or going for walks, things like that. We eventually became really comfortable with each other, it was nice. The crazy memories are also fun, of parking on 'random' streets, of almost getting caught by people, going for rides to Hope, going for rides out of the city so we could see the stars. It was fun though, that was when I felt the most alive in my life, those were some of the best times of my life, when I was with her. The last email I sent her I sent her my photo so she could remember what I look like, I also asked for one of her but she never sent it. I wish she did though just so I don't have to think of her anymore. Haha, I feel like crying now I feel so gay... I miss her.
Jun 15, 2012 at 3:33 am
Well, for the record I DID start crying and am somewhat crying right now. Right now I feel like there's just me alone in the universe, I'm sure I'll laugh at myself tomorrow. I just wish I could see her in person again so I could hug her and tell her face to face everything that I feel, I never told her that I love(d) her but I ALWAYS wanted to, I was too scared.
Well I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep now. I feel so silly but my heart actually hurts right now, like it's not whole.
Well I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep now. I feel so silly but my heart actually hurts right now, like it's not whole.
Jun 15, 2012 at 8:57 am
Hi, OP - I've been thinking about what you've written, and a few things come to mind.
I'm an 'older woman' and have dated younger guys - but not in the way you described. With one guy (12 years younger) we had to end it because his life changed in a huge way and he wasn't going to have time to see me. Another (younger than that) moved away for work.
But - I've never been the type to see the younger guy as just a 'boy toy'. I'm beginning to believe there are a group of older women out there who DO see the younger man that way - who believe that the younger guy is just happy to have sex, and doesn't have feelings. They keep their married men as their emotional/financial security (and social status - we mustn't forget that!) and then use the younger man for their personal sexual excitement (pure Boy Toys), and find it easy to dump them when the relationship has run its course.
I think, of course, that these women have the stereotypical view that the younger man ONLY wants sex, and that he does not get emotionally attached to them. As anyone with half a brain knows (or should I say, 'half a heart'?), that is wrong, wrong, wrong. Of course younger men have feelings!
I'd also guess that perhaps the excitement of sex in the van, almost getting caught, etc. may have triggered something in the addiction centre of your brain, meaning that you may need that extra stimuli - or find sex more exciting with that extra component. (Read Gabor Mate's excellent book "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts" for info on how that part of the brain works.)
Perhaps both of the above factors - a fear of being used/rejected again, that stimuli issue - may be why you like to flirt, but are perhaps avoiding something more meaningful at this point of your life. It takes courage to risk being hurt again - but we never know when that might happen. (BTW - there are NICE hot older women out there who won't treat you that way!)
One more comment, while I'm at it: for someone who's been working since 17, you are extremely articulate, and your post is one of the more well-written ones I've seen in awhile here. Best of luck with your schooling - I'm gonna bet you are pulling off good marks, judging by the intelligence of your writing.
(Can't comment on your guitar playing as I haven't looked at that yet.)
I'm an 'older woman' and have dated younger guys - but not in the way you described. With one guy (12 years younger) we had to end it because his life changed in a huge way and he wasn't going to have time to see me. Another (younger than that) moved away for work.
But - I've never been the type to see the younger guy as just a 'boy toy'. I'm beginning to believe there are a group of older women out there who DO see the younger man that way - who believe that the younger guy is just happy to have sex, and doesn't have feelings. They keep their married men as their emotional/financial security (and social status - we mustn't forget that!) and then use the younger man for their personal sexual excitement (pure Boy Toys), and find it easy to dump them when the relationship has run its course.
I think, of course, that these women have the stereotypical view that the younger man ONLY wants sex, and that he does not get emotionally attached to them. As anyone with half a brain knows (or should I say, 'half a heart'?), that is wrong, wrong, wrong. Of course younger men have feelings!
I'd also guess that perhaps the excitement of sex in the van, almost getting caught, etc. may have triggered something in the addiction centre of your brain, meaning that you may need that extra stimuli - or find sex more exciting with that extra component. (Read Gabor Mate's excellent book "In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts" for info on how that part of the brain works.)
Perhaps both of the above factors - a fear of being used/rejected again, that stimuli issue - may be why you like to flirt, but are perhaps avoiding something more meaningful at this point of your life. It takes courage to risk being hurt again - but we never know when that might happen. (BTW - there are NICE hot older women out there who won't treat you that way!)
One more comment, while I'm at it: for someone who's been working since 17, you are extremely articulate, and your post is one of the more well-written ones I've seen in awhile here. Best of luck with your schooling - I'm gonna bet you are pulling off good marks, judging by the intelligence of your writing.
(Can't comment on your guitar playing as I haven't looked at that yet.)
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