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posted Monday, April 30, 2012 at 8:58pm
I've been trying to date on the internet for a few years now with no luck and I think it's because I gave-up on a good chance. I had a relationship several years ago with a girl who had a lot of issues but I stuck by her side. I had a lot of problems too, but I didn't cheat on her. We fought a lot also she cheated on me. I am very proud of myself for leaving her. But still I wonder if I made the right decision because I know she was going through a lot of stuff and troubles from her past when she was with me but she still loved me and was able to see past all my flaws (I had a lot of flaws and didn't treat her well). I also saw how much she changed at the end and was committed to keep on improving. I didn't like how she acted but I "got" her. I just couldn't take the fighting anymore and couldn't rebuild trust yet. I wonder if I took the easy way out? What is stuck in my brain is that she saw our problems as a way to be better and get closer and even wanted counselling. Did I miss an amazing opportunity? What should I do?
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May 1, 2012 at 1:11 am
Try and reconnect as casual friends. You might find-out that your fantasy of her is better then reality or you both might have worked on yourselves enough over the years that you can start fresh. You'll always wonder unless you do something about it.
May 1, 2012 at 1:35 pm
I pretty much just went thru this exact scenario and have been wondering if I made the right decision or just did the easy thing by leaving and saving what was left of my broken pride. Let's start a support group.
May 1, 2012 at 7:55 pm
I agree with Test the Waters.......and this....sometimes you fall in love with the idea of someone in the way you want it to be but not the way it really exists. You need to figure out if she is the idea versus the reality. The biggest question is....have you truly forgiven her for her past mistakes because if you look at her and see glimpses of the past you may not be able to move forward. Good luck and if you really love her, love her with all you got.
May 1, 2012 at 8:58 pm
You must read this book:
"Too good to leave ,too bad to stay "a great a book which helps you to analyze you relationship & be comfortable with the decision that you make.
"Too good to leave ,too bad to stay "a great a book which helps you to analyze you relationship & be comfortable with the decision that you make.
May 2, 2012 at 12:48 am
I agree and was going to offer the same advice. It really is a question of whether or not you really can forgive someone. Because there seems to be a lasting regret or connection there after all these years there's a chance that the person on the other side feels the same way and it's worth checking out. But if you have not found a way to see past their mistakes, then it is pointless to try and reconnect.
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