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posted Wednesday, May 16, 2012 at 5:11pm
I think it's really funny how many people think that they are "getting away" with doing things that they know isn't right or would upset those who found out. I have friends who have been trying to conceal an intimate friendship because they know it would hurt someone, or make things awkward professionally. They go out of their way to not mention each other in their social media statuses yet both update from the same travel locations, or events. Those dummies aside, I have another married friend who has a secret FWB, most of us know what's going on but don't mention it. From the sidelines I watch dishonest people suffering from their own web of fibs, guilt and slow self-sabotage. They think they're "having their cake and eating it too" while "protecting" others from the truth. In fact though...they are cowardly, ego driven people. They insult the strength and intelligence of those around them by assuming that the truth would be just too "devastatingly" hard for their friends to handle. They think that there is just "no other way" to be. It's really quite sad. Just because no one is calling you out right now, doesn't mean we don't know or feel a negative "hunch"- we are not fools. Eventually it will all come out in the wash and you will be held accountable... so please, have enough respect for your friends, and enough self-respect to bite the bullet and just be honest.
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May 16, 2012 at 9:32 pm
I was in a similar situation last year, and came out with everything at the beginning. There was no guilt, as nothing was hidden. Things were awkward for a bit, and I lost a few friends, but those who saw what was really going on, and realized the happiness my new situation brought, stuck by us.
Now, months later, I can honestly say it was 'meant to be'. Sometimes, you have to do what's best for you, and unfortunately this may hurt people in the moment.
I absolutely agree with you though, people aren't stupid and totally know what's going on behind the scenes. It's always better to be honest, as was confirmed in my situation.
But really, at the same time, why don't people mind their own business? Maybe the people you speak of aren't thinking they are 'getting away' with anything, but rather enjoying their lives and trying to be respectful of another person's feelings (I'm not talking about the married ones, but the others you mentioned)?
Whatever the case, we all deserve happiness.
Now, months later, I can honestly say it was 'meant to be'. Sometimes, you have to do what's best for you, and unfortunately this may hurt people in the moment.
I absolutely agree with you though, people aren't stupid and totally know what's going on behind the scenes. It's always better to be honest, as was confirmed in my situation.
But really, at the same time, why don't people mind their own business? Maybe the people you speak of aren't thinking they are 'getting away' with anything, but rather enjoying their lives and trying to be respectful of another person's feelings (I'm not talking about the married ones, but the others you mentioned)?
Whatever the case, we all deserve happiness.
May 16, 2012 at 11:04 pm
I couldn't agree with you more...when two people are enjoying life and having some pleasure...we are only accountable to one person.
May 17, 2012 at 12:54 am
@Dude I think the point of the post is to say that this attitude ie; what you wrote..."Maybe the people you speak of aren't thinking they are 'getting away' with anything, but rather enjoying their lives and trying to be respectful of another person's feelings" This is the problem, they aren't really being considerate at all...they think they are protecting people or being 'respectful' of someone else's feelings when really they are actually disrespecting the people who already have a feeling something is up. Come clean to everyone is the best policy, don't rub it in people's faces obv. but live honestly and let people decide if they want a part of that situation or not- don't micro manage an already awkward situation.
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