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posted Monday, June 25, 2012 at 8:38am
After more than 10 years of marriage everything is great from communications to income. We are both in our early 40's and the only problem, like a lot of couples is sex!
I could have sex 5- 10 times a week. I masterbate her anytime she wants. I go down on her anytime for as long as she likes. I read 50 shades of everything and anything that will give a woman a great sexual experience. She admits, Im attentive, very affectionate and says, that all her friends are jelous of my constant desire to please her sexually.
I would bring other guys or girls into bed, anything for a great sex life. Why else are we in intimate relationships? I have friends,work out buds, and colleagues. I want a partner for all those reasons, but I'm not willing to give up on an amazing sex life.
I don't get that some say it's not THAT important, BS. Being wanted and desired is human nature, as is wanting please the ones we love. I hate to give up all the rest that is there but I'm still young and have a lot to offer.
Funny thing is my wife is always exhausted and satisfied at the end, constantly thanking me for my patience and effort. But once it's over she back to not being effectionate and getting her back to sex is another week of effort?! I just don't get it!!
Comments (3) Add New Comment
Jun 25, 2012 at 3:06 pm
Was your wife's sex drive always like this, or is this something new? Have you talked about it with her? What is her reason for not wanting to return the favor? It sounds like you go out of your way to please her, she happily takes it, and then doesn't return the favor. I can understand people having different sex drives, but that is just selfish. I'm a woman, and I love sex. If I married someone and they suddenly didn't want to have an active sex life, I would be frustrated too. If she was always like this, then I have to ask why you guys got married, as sex is an important part of any relationship. The fact that you need to put in a week just to get her in the mood suggests that something is going on here. It could be emotional, physical, heck it could even be that she is getting it somewhere else. If your wife is not willing to work with you on this, then I think you have to consider if you are the right partners for each other. Sorry to be a downer, but I think that eventually you may decide that you want to be with someone that is on the same sexual page as you.
Jun 25, 2012 at 4:30 pm
@Hmmm: Dont know about the OP but I really feel for the him as I have similar problems. Frequency has dwindled, the Vanilla factor has increased and the partners interest has dropped dramatically (imagine her initiating a conversation about my mother whilst we're doing the deed). I always put a lot of effort into her needs during these times and she appears to enjoy them...I say appears as the next time is not for months and there is a total shut out till then.
I've tried romancing her (subtle not OTT), tried supporting, tried avoiding uninitiated contact, tried initiating contact, watched hours of TV shows with her that I cant stand and discussed our issues endlessley. I think I understand the different needs of men and women and that there can be a difference in the intensity and frequency of desire. This is all over a period of several years - its not like I did this all at once! The response is always the same - "I'm sorry lets try again" which is fine...except theres never any trying. There have been about 3 times in the past 6 months when I really needed that kind of contact, but not from a "I'm horny" point of view. Once the intimate contact would have reassured me in a very rough time (serious medical issue) and the other were two potentially very romantic times - one in a place that was very special to me and she knew that. Two weeks ago after attempt in the morning which she seemed to want and then talked about many things during what passed for foreplay I just told her to forget it and our sex life was over. Dont know if its insecurity but I think I sensed relief from her rather than anger, sadness or anything!
Sadly I have to agree with you Hmmm, even though I dont have a roving eye and have never been unfaithful I think I will end up moving on as being a home help, home handyman, psychologists couch, "do everying in the house after I get home" etc kind of man without the intimacy that comes from being close to someone you love is just not enough.
Oh and in my case its 20 years of being together, 10 years of marriage and 1 young teen, 1 pre teen kid.....sadly
I've tried romancing her (subtle not OTT), tried supporting, tried avoiding uninitiated contact, tried initiating contact, watched hours of TV shows with her that I cant stand and discussed our issues endlessley. I think I understand the different needs of men and women and that there can be a difference in the intensity and frequency of desire. This is all over a period of several years - its not like I did this all at once! The response is always the same - "I'm sorry lets try again" which is fine...except theres never any trying. There have been about 3 times in the past 6 months when I really needed that kind of contact, but not from a "I'm horny" point of view. Once the intimate contact would have reassured me in a very rough time (serious medical issue) and the other were two potentially very romantic times - one in a place that was very special to me and she knew that. Two weeks ago after attempt in the morning which she seemed to want and then talked about many things during what passed for foreplay I just told her to forget it and our sex life was over. Dont know if its insecurity but I think I sensed relief from her rather than anger, sadness or anything!
Sadly I have to agree with you Hmmm, even though I dont have a roving eye and have never been unfaithful I think I will end up moving on as being a home help, home handyman, psychologists couch, "do everying in the house after I get home" etc kind of man without the intimacy that comes from being close to someone you love is just not enough.
Oh and in my case its 20 years of being together, 10 years of marriage and 1 young teen, 1 pre teen kid.....sadly
Jun 25, 2012 at 8:35 pm
Really, that's the way you see it but there must be more to the story. I don't think she loves you at all. Appears she is just going through the motions. What is a pre teen kid? Why do you do all the work? What is this shit? Are you for real?
Screw the sex.. appears you are getting off anyway...two kids you had sex bro! . How's the rest of the day with her? Tell us more.
Screw the sex.. appears you are getting off anyway...two kids you had sex bro! . How's the rest of the day with her? Tell us more.
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