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I am Tried

I must confess I am tried of not being what others want or need. I've worked my whole life to over come what I was taught. That being abusive was the normal. I've made a mistakes at 16 that have giving me a life that is unlivable. I am now 47. I am tried of cleaning up others messes. Tried of being everyone's scape goat. Paying the price for someone else s crime . I have changed laws that protect others, but not for me. The truth is I don't want to do this anymore. Tried of my grown children not listening. Not even a Happy Mother's Day from them. Tried of trying and working hard then most . Then getting no where in life. The man in my life thinks a once a month booty call is a relationship. I tell him how he hurts me. He doesn't care. Tried of my landlord not giving heat in the winter. Not having privacy in my home. As it's just a normal bedroom door between my home and theirs. They won't buy a sound proof blanket. They are to cheap. I am just tried of fighting. I am losing my faith in humanity. Can't find the joy in the simple anymore as I always have. Why do the people I love think it's OK to keep hurting me. How long do they think I can smile as they keep walking all over me.

Tough Choices

My husband works as an Engineer in Fort McMurray while myself and our two children live in Vancouver. His salary is about two and a half times what he would make here which is why he works there. He works six days on plus three days overtime and then has three days off. He flies here twice a month to see us all for six days. While the money has afforded us certain perks like a nanny and a nice yard it is also putting a strain on our marriage. He now wants us all to move either to Calgary or Fort McMurray because he says its too hard living the way he's living. I don't really see that though. He's basically living like a bachelor without any of the responsibilities that I have. I understand that he won't be able to get a job that pays that much in Vancouver because we don't have oil like Alberta. I just love living here and all my friends and my children's friends are here. The only other option is for him to move back here and for us to sell the house and move to Burnaby or Coquitlam where housing is cheaper. I have to figure this out and its really stressing me out.

My Contribution...

I have made the decision to not have children and end the line of assholes that my parents and their parents before them have produced. It's not that they are terrible people but they are unhealthy, emotionally abusive, manipulative and, honestly, dumb as fuck. I refuse to do that to another human being. I see my mother's insane neurosis coming out in me in strange ways on a daily basis and it scares the shit out of me. Consider this my contribution to society. I'm not going to leave behind anything that will make it more terrible than it already is.

monogamy

I don't think that there is one man in this world who would be happy having sex with only one woman...my partner has devastated me.

when i met you...

...i was at square one, and i built myself back up around you. you knocked me back down, so now i have to learn to build myself up on my own. its scary and hard, and part of me wishes you were in the same boat. the other part of me is so happy - for your sake - that you're not.

Imaginary Breakup

I have been with my boyfriend for two years now. And I have been imagining myself breaking up with him for about a year and a half. Haven't done it yet.

True Fear

If I didn't make over $150,000 per year I think my wife would leave me and take the kids. Its a fear that I have and it gets reinforced by her all the time. I love my kids so much and its a lot of stress trying to provide in a tough industry where you could lose your job through a layoff or restructuring on any given day. I work weekends and nights and its just so hard. I feel more like a cash register instead of a husband.

mhmmm bike seats

I can't be the only girl who feels clitoral stimulation while sitting a certain way on her bike or positioning herself a certain way at a red light...with her hands on the handlebar and herself right at the edge of the seat. It's my little secret and the men don't know...or maybe they do now. ;)

Was Once...Am Now

Some time ago, I went through some very strange and serious times. I was under the guidance of a shrink for a bit. All the time I focused on 'my issues', I could never see the light. I decided to bust out, leave the city I grew up in, and attempted to let go of my many family troubles and the nasty, insecure shit that seemed implanted inside my brain. (Huge 'mother issues') I went from not sleeping well, not coping, to choosing love and life and joy. I cut ties with the shrink who insisted on calling me from his car on his cell for weeks on end to try to get me to 'take the meds'. I have really come to find continuous peace in my heart. I am not mentally ill. I sure was around some shitbags for a spell there though. When a person is down or seething, they really do attract more of the same. I'm happy now, cope well and have joy in my life everywhere. Did I talk myself out of mental illness...or is there actually nothing all that wrong with me? I wonder how many other people could just make this simple choice and go rock out if they are hit with a 'diagnosis'? If I say it might be a medical/psychiatric conspiracy, I'm pretty sure I sound paranoid! They really wanted me to take those drugs. Sheesh! The shrink who kept calling me-while in downtown traffic!-was clearly out of line: control issues, much, Doc? Keep moving forward folks. If I did it, you can, too. xo

I posted in the Craigslist Personals

My wife recently left me and I feel so lonely and depressed that I decided to post in the Craigslist Personals looking for someone to cuddle with. I did not even bother to read what other men were posting until today and saw that in addition to so many men wanting cuddles there are so many creeps on there! So please if you read my ad I AM NOT A CREEP! Chalk it up to a slip in judgement.

Good men everywhere

Good men are not hard to find. We are everywhere. We hold the door for you, we notice your presence, and we would rather make you laugh than play a negative role in your life. We don't see you as an object, we see you as a soul. Some of you say you can't find us, because maybe you're paying attention to the wrong things. Did you notice us hold the door? Did you notice that you grabbed our attention? Maybe our respect and kindness and space towards you doesn't always come off as interest and attraction, but it is. We're here. Notice us and we will notice you, too. Good sees good.

not the other woman

I have been seeing someone for about 3 yrs and we are very close and intimate. His "wife" and adult son live on another continent. He has not been with his wife for over 20 yrs and she has another boyfriend but they have not divorced for religious reasons. Recently, he was diagnosed with a serious illness and they have traveled here to see him. In the hospital, I was looked at like an outsider as if I don't belong there. Now that he is home, they are staying there. The vibe is that I am not welcome. They have taken away his phone and computer. He is in quite a confused state due to the illness. I really want to see him as I don't know how much he will recover. (We are seniors.) I have gone over a couple of times but they have not answered the door. Should I back off and stay away or should I try to visit? ps. I realize this is not really a confession. I am just at a loss as to what would be the proper thing to do as they are his real family. Also I guess a warning to others who might someday find themselves in this situation.

None of your business.

Ever since I chose to drop my mother out of my life I feel like everyone is judging me for the choice I made. Honestly if you knew her as the person I know her as you would see why I did so. She was an abusive, ill tempered alcoholic who did nothing but beat me and tell me to kill myself. I have finally come to a good place in my life(after multiple suicide attempts) that enough was enough and I blocked her from everything humanly possible. It has made me more humble and so much more at peace now. Honestly it's none of your business and I feel no need to drudge up the past. SO LET IT GO; I sure have.

I love my jeep

I love my jeep liberty so much but due to the high price of gas (I moved here from Edmonton) I cannot afford to keep her. I'm a full time student and gas is out of my budget plus Vancouver has great transit options so I don't really need her. It feels like I'm selling my pet. I will miss Libby so much. Yes I named her.

Happiness and Peace

It really rules. Even when you're being tested, it is such a relief.

I SAW YOU

Beard and a Banjo

You: The bearded dude in a newsboy cap playing a stripped-down version of "Thunderstruck...

BLOGRA

Video: First Nations actors get frustrated...

Some walked off the job to protest a character being named Beaver's Breath.

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