Search confessions

2nd hand smoke

I hope all those who smoke cigarettes and blow 2nd hand smoke to the guy walking behind them or walking past them die real soon from lung cancer. is there anyone in this city who doesn't smoke? thanks for stinking up the block wherever you people go.

I Really Didn't Get

the recent film 'This is The End', a Point Grey production. I am to embarrassed to tell my friends this. They all seemed to think it was funny and talked all about it. I had been so excited to see it as I had previously enjoyed the work of all the actors in it. It scared me. I felt many things-including resentment that my time was being wasted. Am I just ineffably square or was it a cry for help? A comment on what has transpired in performance? Maybe I should try again. I hope those poor boys are going to be OK. Jeez.

I don't know how to read numbers

I fumble and pretend, hoping against hope that I will not be asked to perform certain fasks at my jobs - though I did 'pass' modified high school math, I doubt if I even have a grade 3 math level

Moral Of The Story

Don't expect the same of others as you would of yourself.

Feeling Ugly

I'm 26. In high school, despite being sort of on the social fringes, I had a reputation for being really attractive. For years dealing with the leers and come-ons and sexual harrassment at work were huge problems and I kept my head down just to ignore all the honks and cat calls and crap that made me feel more self-conscious of my body than anything. Now, I've stopped wearing makeup. I cut my hair short (like, all of it) a few years ago in a roundabout way to end the objectification, and still haven't let it grow out. I've gained a few pounds... and I'm thrilled at not having to deal with the objectification (it makes you feel super unsafe and really dirty about yourself when everyone treats you like fantasy fodder.) That's great. But with those couples of pounds.. the way my face changes as I age.. I just feel ugly. Now I walk around in my fit-in baggy clothing, hoping no one will notice me because I just feel super unattractive, not put together, not pretty at all. It sucks. I hate it both ways. I want my middle ground of happy lean strength back, and have lost it to years of sluggish university. Back to the gym with me!


You just need to get drunk or high. Screw what society thinks we all need our vices once in a while so stop criminalizing those that provide it. Sometimes I need cocaine to keep me awake to write an essay and sometimes I need pot to help me calm down from a stressful test and sometimes I need XTC to help me party. It doesn't mean I'm an addict. I can control it. So stop putting those in jail who supply it. Sometimes we all need an edge to keep up with the unrealistic demands of us.

Slippery Slope

I can now understand how drug addiction starts.. I've been using cocaine recreationally for years, but really stepped it up this past year. I started buying it myself instead of chipping in with other, and had a drug dealer in my contact list. I often shared it with friends when I was going out, but then began to do it myself when there were no friends around who did cocaine. I would sneak away to the bathroom all night to do little bumps by myself, and didn't tell anyone. I used it a couple of times before a night out, just to "wake up a bit". I realized after a whole night of using it myself, and spending money on it that I needed for groceries, that it was a problem. I flushed it down the toilet and have no plans to use it ever again. I think I needed to write this out and see it all in front of me, now I realize it REALLY was becoming a problem.

Tender heart, but I will be better off.

There is sharp heartache from realizing that a fling needs to end because I actually like him too much to keep things casual (but don't like him enough to be in a relationship with him). I have been mourning the end of a strong chemical attraction and tremendous connection, simply because it is a rare find. But I know I am doing the right thing because I am choosing my self-respect over butterflies and physical intimacy.

I'm an alcoholic

I can feel its grip on me getting tighter everyday. I'm shocked about how often I think about when I might squeeze in a drink between activities. I know now that it is affecting my life and my happiness. Everyday I wake up feeling sick, tired and just a little closer to death. If I don't overcome this, it will kill me. I will overcome this.

So Easy

Hey Y'all! The reason I want to share this with you is because I want to give you some hope! You CAN find a Love that is beautiful and easy, and be passionately and madly in love at the same time! I think we struggle unfortunately because it's part of the human condition to seek love. Because of this intense need we often agonize over relationships that do not serve us. We try to make things fit that just don't. We experience pain, drama, ugliness and often time and time and time again. I can say for the first time in 41 years I have found something with someone that fits so perfectly! There is absolutely no need to change her. She doesn't want to change me. We embrace each other and enhance each other's lives. There hasn't been one single episode of any drama. It has felt so right from the start. Its been several months!!! Not even one grain going against the rest! Hey it took me a 12 year marriage, and multiple relationships that lasted anywhere from three months to three years and dating men, women, and trans folks (I am pretty open minded) to find her (this). AND not gonna lie, lots of work on myself. Anyway please keep your heart open despite your wounds. AND if you are finding that you just keep coming up a brick wall with your current love... do them a favour and yourself. Let them go, put your energy into your own life and see what happens! Peace :)

I am Fed Up

So what if my husband makes a lot of money? Everyone keep the comments to yourself. I didn't marry him for his money. We dated in University when we were two broke students. I didn't know that he would become a Partner in a Law Firm. It just happened. Saying that "It must be nice having some a rich husband while the rest of us have to work" really hurts. Or saying "Must be nice to stay at home and have nothing to do" hurts too. You don't know how we struggled for years in University and after while he was in Law School. We spent years eating ramon noodles and macaroni and cheese because that was all we could afford. We are an equal partnership and it doesn't matter who makes the money. I look after our 3 young children and the house so its 50/50. I have a degree just like him but chose to stay at home and raise our children or I could very well be a Lawyer or a Doctor. So keep the comments to yourselves.

Gravity and time

is just going to make you better and better baby. I'm waiting. And when the marriage fails and you are finally available, I'll be there to scoop you up and swing those sweater puppies around like turbines, and we can fly off into the sunset together.

Lessons learned

People make mistakes, it's in our human nature and beneficial to our growth. I made a mistake when I rejected someone I was dating. It was a whirlwind, intense love affair, but the timing was not right. I know that I should have acknowledged her value to me at the time. Half a year later, I do, everyday. When I think about how loving, caring, inspiring and selfless she is, I fall more in love. Yes, it sucks. Would she take me back? It's possible, but I'm afraid she won't and I think that confirmation might just crush me. I showed her that I didn't deserve her and that's what I gotta live with. I live each day trying not to look back, but still aware of what I've done wrong and right. Maybe, just maybe, if I meet someone as amazing as her, I won't make the same mistake again.

I want you

I know I can’t tell you this because of our situation but I need to get it out. We were friends 30+ years ago and I wanted to be with you then, but we never were able to connect. Now that you’re back in my life again and I find that I want you more than ever. I find you even more attractive now at 50ish than ever before. We get along so well like we’ve been best friends forever. I can’t stop thinking about you girl. I want to take you on my Harley and ride into the sunset. Unfortunately I am still trapped in a loveless affectionless marriage. My marriage could be over soon but I am afraid I will lose you to someone else as a woman like you won’t stay single forever. Never seems to be the right time for us

Beautiful Mind-Once Anyway

My sibling has a beautiful mind: he is a Renaissance Man in every sense of the word. Bright, intelligent, funny, articulate, musical, artistic, has an acting bend, can do math/compose music...he was always the person I wished I could be. He then married and is now drunk often and takes anti-depressants. I don't believe there is a shred wrong with him. He was always a 'feeling' person, but I don't think he needs to medicate in any way; he has skills, not a 'disorder'. (He hardly ever used to drink and never took meds before) I just think he married a booger. And that she is bringing him down. Maybe I am being a(n over-) protective older sibling. Crying shame really. Guess maybe one day he'll see what I see. His talent lies in his sober, real self! And that our personal happiness is deeply affected by who we choose to marry.


@ Womyns Ware on Commercial

After some happy browsing and buying, I was pushing open the door of the store and noticed you...