I've decided that I'm gonna play hooky in the rain and enjoy the comforting sounds, wearing comfy pj's while drinking hot chocolate galore. Happy ordinary miracle rainy day!
I miss my cat who is a good friend - grumpy and weird and the most supportive in hard times going beyond words to offer purring comfort and silly actions to create belly laughter in difficult times; she made my word a better place and I feel, for the first time, bitter.
are like cockroaches - where there is one there is one billion and the unpleasant name that a person who claims to love you calls you is how they truly Feel and think and no amount of effort and trying changes this - I know from thirty five years of 'trying' to not be called unpleasant names by the people I love.
I absolutely hate myself.
Another sad, depressive, anxious and scary day. Have been fighting this for too long. Very low on hope.
Early this year I wrote a confession about how it's been nearly four years since I last had sex because I wanted to stop having meaningless sex. Don't get me wrong, I'm not the love=sex gal, but I wanted to wait for something that was more deeply rooted in chemistry. The comments that confession garnered were of support and encouragement. Since then I've met someone very special and he was worth the wait.
PS: I'm back to having amazing sex on a regular basis ;)
This girl I know made a facebook post saying how blessed she was that she had her phone found in a Starbucks after she carelessly left it there the other day. People from her church community started liking it and everyone was saying to her that "God is good." "God really wanted to give you a surprise!" I don't resent people for any belief in a creator or whatnot...but I highly doubt any higher power really is going to give two shits about your iphone 6 being left in a Starbucks. It seems very small minded. But oh well.
I don't need any from store clerks and don't care if they aren't friendly to me for, when they are rude - saying ugh and not doing basic communication - it shows off their low class; I have had the utmost pleasure to work with the classiest cashier ever and she treated addicts like Queens and could do a mile long line up seemingly in five minutes while entertaining people and being polite to each and every customer and co-worker in her presence.
I can't even care anymore about all those shootings, not even this one.
My confession is that while I think people should express their sadness, compassion, and other emotional reactions to tragedies, they should take their prayers and shove them.
By saying "I am praying for you," they are also saying "I intend to do nothing meaningful or substantive other than publically congratulate myself for having deigned to react to your misfortune."
A basket of muffins, taking your kid for a couple of hours while you get some sleep, cleaning your house, lobbying government for more restrictive access to select-fire weapons, are examples of helping.
Shut up about your prayers.
When someone is going to hurt me. I usually can't do anything about it and just have to wait for it and get over it...
are used to wipe the walls and floors - it is like a special microfibre that picks up dust, truly amazing material.
at myself for being myself. For making mistakes instead of decisions, for not being the someone Else that the people I'm in relationships with always seem to want.
Sometimes nothing makes me feel more stupid than dating.
My housing situation right now is SO bleak! As a low income single mother looking for a new home for my family, I visited some Co-Ops today to see if I could apply and found something crazy instead. Did you know that there is a literal ghetto right in the middle of North Coquitlam??? In the middle of a nice area too! It's hidden by some greenery, but it's there if you look hard enough. Units boarded up and covered in graffiti, sledge stains pouring down the sides of the units, and the roof is in such disrepair I couldn't believe my eyes. Surely nobody actually lives there... BUT THEY DO! Doing my research, I found out that the people are staying there until another building is built but it will take years to complete. Until then, they have to deal with all this unimaginable disrepair because nobody will fix anything. Disabled and elderly people live there. Then they will be displaced until the new unit is built. It blew my mind! My eyes are now WIDE open. I never expected something like this to happen right in my own community. Just wow.