Search confessions

I hope the teacher's strike never ends.

I live immediately adjacent to a public high school, and am loving that the street is so quiet/free of cars and pedestrians. Ahhhhh.... :)


When I need to go to my happy place, I think of going dancing on E with you during my young days.

It Really Is Tough..

I'm sure that I'm not the only one that feels this way, but I feel truly alone.. I mean, the kind where all of your "best friends" are off doing their own thing and not reserving any time for you. Even one day every once in a while. All of my childhood friends are gone. 2 highschool friends that I run into sometimes. When I'm on the bus, skytrain, or bus stop at 11pm... I just feel so. god.damn. fucking isolated. I wish that I could get hugs. I wish that I could laugh with somebody. I wish that I wouldn't flinch when I do receive a hug - maybe because I forget what it's like. I haven't been in a serious relationship in almost exactly a year. I'm starting to miss an ex from 2 years ago, even though that would never happen since I was a total dick by dropping her from my life - I just cut her off. Maybe this is karma? If so, I deserve it. Even though 2 months ago invited her to talk in person and things have gotten better (we actually talk once in a while). This is still really shitty. If I stop going outside, checking online stuff, my phone, I bet that it would take months for people to realize that I'm not there.. but what's worse, is that no one would care...... I'm going to talk to somebody tomorrow and get to know them. I have the worst social anxiety even though I talk to everyone at parties/events/gallery openings. I've got to stop being shy.. My life is just full of fuck ups and mistakes...

Ten years at my job and my boos wont give meaningful full-time work.

It doesn't take an expert in Human resource Management to tell you that employers who cannot fire you have ll kinds of way of try to make you leave. In my case my employer dragged my name through the mud for years, never giving me an objective evaluation of my work but always relying on the subjective "perceptions" of third parties who knew nothing about my job anyway. Recently when a senior position was vacated and I was clearly the next in line my boss(es) moved the goal post in so many different directions by changing the job description and making indirect statements about my qualifications I knew there was no point in even applying. No I have taken a one year leave during which I will shift my entire life to another country in order to try and start from zero. Seriously, I would have better chance of getting full-time work if I had worked in at a big-box grocery-store for as long as I have been at my job. I hate my boss. He is a shark and a hypocrite. I really hope he burns in hell.

No thanks, ever

I work for a small 20 person office. I don't get anything from my job. All I get is a paycheque. I don't get any benefits. There are no perks: no spontaneous lunches by the bosses, swag, entry into Vancouver events, nothing. Our Christmas party consists of this: they ask us to bring food to contribute to the whole meal, so it's potluck, and our spouses have to pay money to attend. Occasionally there will be left over food for the staff from a meeting the night before. So yes, we're offered to eat up the previous night's waste as a freebie. I work my butt off, answering emails at 7AM and 9PM at night to move things forward; I save the company money by finding discounts; I vocalize as many ideas as I can to further market the business; I problem solve and find ways to stretch our resources. But the lack of any perks is second to this: I never get any thanks, acknowledgement or recognition for my contributions, either privately or publicly, by any one in management. I want to quit so badly and show them the hole that I'd leave if I were gone. I don't know if offices are leaner now, after the recession. In previous jobs and in even smaller companies (4 people in the office), even we would be treated to lunch once a month as some sort of concrete thanks. I can't wait to give my notice. There's no incentive and no acknowledgment for all the energy I expend for them.

Is This Normal?

I have noticed that whenever I am walking and waiting for the light to change at the crosswalk women will look me over from my shoes to my head. If I look back at them they shy away. If they like me why don't they just say hello or something. Or do they want me to ask them for a coffee or something? I don't know what to say because what if they're married or something and then I ll look foolish. They also seem to bump into me a lot. I mean I am standing still and they will bump into me and then smile and say excuse me. Not shoulder to shoulder bumps either they will run into my chest. This happens at least once or twice a day. Is this how women in Vancouver flirt? Just give me a smile and a hair flip. I wish women would not confuse me so much.

Got laid off

This city is a difficult place to find work. My last employer was a hell to work for. Hated it. The people were so self absorbed. Don't work for a not for profit. the people are so self absorbed. F

My shame-zit videos on YouTube

Someone confessed to loving cat fight videos. Those are great but I also like those zit poppin',boil bustin,blackhead squeezin',cyst pokin' videos on you tube. On occasion my mouse somehow ends up clicking on them.

To the good citizen who returned my wallet!

Today my wallet was returned anonymously with all the cash and everything inside. To you and all the good people who return wallets or lost items when they can... Thank you!! Thank you!! Thank you!! You've made my day. Cheers to the good people!

Get over it.

I've decided to move on when I'm damn good and ready. Not when my friends and family tell me to (which was weeks ago), not when dating experts tell me to, but when my head and heart tell me to. That might be in a month or that might be in a year. So to those of you that keep telling me to get under someone new to get over my ex, thanks for the brilliant advice but I'll stick to my own way of doing things.

Many people hide a secret shame. This is mine.

The great shame of my life has been a crippling disease that carries a heavy social stigma. The stigma is so powerful that it's victims, like me, hide it from their friends and acquaintances, from their own families, and even their doctors. Most destructively though, we deny it to ourselves and refuse to get help or treatment. I suffer from mental illness — in my case a recurring and at times incapacitating depression. I have lost years of my life to this darkness and the isolation it brings, but I have finally gotten the help that I hope will allow me to better manage it's impact and live a more complete and happier life.

I'm missing something...

ALL of my friends are married, or in long-term relationships. I feel left out and isolated from them all, and I can't help but wonder what it is about me that makes me so undateable. I go out, I try new things, I try to make small talk with strangers.. I haven't been on a date in about 5 years. It can really get a girl down... what am I missing?

I Try..

Constantly to be a positive and cheery person and tell you that "it's okay!" when you let me down. For the past several months, its happened more often than not and I'm so hurt and tired from it, from you. It's not your fault. I just find it to be extremely disrespectful, inconsiderate, selfish and rude when it happens. On the bright side, I know for certain now, that when it comes to things that really matter, I have no one to depend on except for myself. And, sometimes, I'm scared.


Yesterday, The Hipsters were picnicking in the park. I looked at their baby unconsciously to check for a sleeve tattoo.

The View

I moved here in 2001 and around 2009 condos starting popping up EVERYWHERE to the point that one day there will be no more view of the mountains anymore. It will just be a view of the condos. And the only people to see the view will be the ones in the Penthouse suites. That sure does suck.


Sunset-Beach @ Sunset

7:30ish Friday nite , July.31st..You in blue shorts lying on grass-hill..Me white shorts lying on...