You force the music section to go out clubbing with Richie Sambora, and we reward you with a Payback Time T-shirt, two recently released major-label CDs, and two tickets to a Live Nation club show taking place in Vancouver within the next four weeks. Here’s this week’s winning whine.

You force the music section to buy Vancouver Canucks seasons tickets, and we reward you with a Payback Time T-shirt, two recently released major-label CDs, and two tickets to a Live Nation club show taking place in Vancouver within the next four weeks. Here’s this week’s winning whinge.

You Photoshop Madonna’s sinewy man arms onto the music section’s scrawny body, and we reward you with a Payback Time T-shirt, two CDs off the Straight’s Top 50, and two tickets to a Live Nation club show taking place in Vancouver within the next four weeks. Here’s this week’s winning whine.

You invite Scott Weiland to the music section’s Matt Sorum fan appreciation night and we reward you with a Payback Time T-shirt, two CDs off the Straight ’s Top 50, and two tickets to a Live Nation club show taking place in Vancouver within the next four weeks. Here’s this week’s winning whinge.

You invite Isaiah Washington to the music section’s Queer Eye for the Straight Guy party, and we reward you with a Payback Time T-shirt, two CDs off the Straight’s Top 50, and two tickets to a Live Nation club show taking place in Vancouver within the next four weeks. Here’s this week’s winning whine.

You invite Heather Mills and Paul McCartney to the music section’s dinner party, and we reward you with a Payback Time T-shirt, two CDs off the Straight ’s Top 50, and two tickets to a Live Nation club show taking place in Vancouver within the next four weeks. Here’s this week’s winning whine.

You invite Amy Winehouse to the music section’s crack party, and we reward you with a Payback Time T-shirt, two CDs off the Straight ’s Top 50, and two tickets to a Live Nation club show taking place in Vancouver within the next four weeks. Here’s this week’s winning whine.

You e-mail the contents of the music section’s My Photos folder to Perez Hilton, and we reward you with a Payback Time T-shirt, two CDs off the Straight’s Top 50, and two tickets to a LiveNation club show taking place in Vancouver within the next four weeks. Here’s this week’s winning whine.

While I amazingly agree with much of his review of the actual concert, his claim that "It would have been cool to hear Roth tackle a tune or two from Van Halen's Hagar era" borders on verbal diarrhea...

Why would the artists in question decline to participate? Maybe they feel that to be on a compilation would be an admission of has-been status. Or perhaps they have a massive reissue project planned. At any rate, it seems unfair to lay the blame at the feet of Rhino, which is the way it comes across in both your reviews

Because we would be wondering what she was doing. Or could it be you simply did not realize that mic is in fact the short form of microphone? I suggest you invest in an updated dictionary

Who do I blame? The artists? The venues? Someone must be held responsible

Calling Mickey Madden a "quasi-Neanderthal hairball"? Mickey is a rare nice guy in the world of pop, and is at the very least an Iron Age hairball. Take pity on him—it’s bad enough that he has to go on after the Hives

Filbrandt obviously dislikes Allen, but he has to realize that his own freedom of speech is no more valuable than Allen’s, and that, as much as Filbrandt may want it otherwise, we are a diverse community with differing opinions

I'm not sure I understood last week's Pop Eye column. Maybe it's because I don't speak elitist douchebag.