Vancouver Weekend: We're Thinking....Brunch

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      Need something to do this weekend? Here are five Vancouver breakfast stops that will make the hangover a little more bearable.

      Yolks, 1298 East Hastings Street

      This sleek, friendly diner with the retro pendant lights is free-range eggs-Benny headquarters. Try combinations with double-smoked bacon and arugula; hand-carved honey ham with dijon and spinach; or portobello mushroom with aioli and arugula. Add Okanagan goat cheese and authentic hollandaise and you pretty much have heaven on a plate. If you opt for a side order of lemon-truffle hashbrowns—and we recommend you do—well, don’t plan to hike the Grouse Grind or bike to White Rock any time in the next few hours. The French toast and chicken and waffles are pretty great, too, but when the name is Yolks, you gotta go for the eggs. Look for the same, cheery pastel-blue-and-yellow sign these folks used for their food truck. And try to believe this used to be the dark den of Brave Bull.

      At the Elbow Room, even those with zero imagination will find an omelet that pleases them.

      The Elbow Room, 560 Davie Street

      As anyone who’s ever been told to stand up and get their own fucking coffee knows, the Elbow Room is serious about its slogan “Food and service is our name. ABUSE is our game.” And what a great game it is, with utterly hilarious owners Patrick Savoie and Brian Searle having shot down everyone from the common rabble (that’s you and us) to Tom Selleck and Sharon Stone. Even if you want more orange juice, it’s best to avoid eye-contact if you don’t like being singled out as a troublemaker. Acid-tongue lashings aside, what’s kept folks coming back to the beloved West End institution since the early ’80s is an expansive and lovingly curated menu featuring portions that won’t leave you hungry. Eggs lovers can opt for the one of 10 omelets (ranging from the Rita MacNeil to four considerably plainer “I Have No Imagination” options). Tuck into the Big Ass pancakes if you’ve arrived in sweatpants, and be prepared for the question “Is that anybody you’ve slept with” when ordering the Christopher (poached eggs with black forest ham, feta, mushrooms, and spinach). And should you require more coffee? Feel free to ask, but be surprised if the answer “Get it your fucking self, and don’t forget the chump next to you while you’re up.”

      At the Blarney Stone there's plenty going on before the neon sign is switched on.

      The Blarney Stone, 216 Carrall Street

      There’s nothing fancy about bacon and eggs at the Blarney Stone. But then again, there’s nothing fancy about anything at this old Gastown landmark. That’s why you go. It’s a predictable Irish bar where you know what you’re getting and that’s what the place never fails to deliver. While too many Vancouver restaurants try and work kale or quinoa into your “West Coast” eggs benny, the Blarney Stone offers a traditional plate of toast, bacon or sausage, crispy hash browns, and two eggs however you like ‘em. Nothing extravagant but always good-quality stuff. The price is eight bucks even. And that’s no blarney.

      Vegan French toast at the Heirloom Vegetarian Restaurant.

      Heirloom Vegetarian Restaurant, 1509 West 12th Avenue

      Go ahead, meat eaters—dig in. Heirloom’s fare is 100 percent vegetarian, which means no bacon or sausages, but why concern yourself with what you’re not getting when you could focus on what you are? French toast made with almond-milk-and-banana-infused batter, topped with cashew cream, house-made seasonal compote and fresh banana slices? Yes, please. Tofu huevos rancheros served on grilled corn tortillas and topped with tomatillo salsa, guacamole, pico de gallo, ranchero sauce, fresh cilantro and green onion? Hell, yeah. If you’re not already salivating you might want to check yourself for a pulse. And if you don’t find one, kick-start your heart with a steaming cup of 49th Parallel drip coffee or Republica espresso. Heirloom serves eggs and dairy, but for those who avoid such things, there’s also a separate, and no less impressive, vegan menu.

      Campagnolo, where the breakfasts are as great as the night-before debauchery.
      Instagram/campagnolorestaurants

      Campagnolo, 1020 Main Street

      Tucked away in its little hidey-hole near the Ivanhoe, Campagnolo packs ‘em in at night with its justifiably praised dinner menu. But slip inside the modestly stylish joint on weekends and holidays—or hangover rush hour, if you like—for an insanely tasty array of rustic treats, and discover the true dark horse of brunch spots. You could opt for the classic breakfast, elevated in this case by thick and juicy cuts of back bacon (a Campognolo specialty), but you have to ignore the fried chicken and biscuits, hazelnut crepes, or house-made mortadella croque madame to do that. Finish with a mimosa and the best fried doughnuts outside of the PNE and then email us with your thanks, you lousy drunks.

      Running every Thursday, Vancouver Weekend spotlights five Straight-approved places around the city worth discovering.

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