... that when I read the news about the latest celebrity phone hacks, I googled the items in question.
My boyfriend of two years cannot climax or maintain an erection unless his testicles are handled, squeezed, pulled, or pressed on.
 

I saw you in a state of undress on the Skytrain. It was fly.

I saw you on the Columbia Line near Production-Way University at the ungodly hour of 6 am. You: scruffy early 30-something blond and heli-skiing, backpacker-world-traveller type. Me: sitting across from you, tired in nursing scrubs feeling unattractive. We had a mutual checking each other out moment. Me: I waited a stop too long to say hey. You: got off by the next stop, flashed a smile and flashed your boxers with your fly down. Thanks for the giggle. Was it an accident? Maybe next time you can stay on until Braid.
When: 
2013-01-25 00:00:00
Where: 
Skytrain
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